How do I get my step-mother to respect my parenting choices?

Please help!!I have preached and preached because I cant afford daycare rightnoe my father watches my daughter while I work.My step mother gives her debbie cakes,candy bars,suckers,hot dogs,and soda!!!She is 20-months old! If Im there she will tell my daughter ';mommy says no,Im sorry'; She has done some pretty horrible things like putting bleach in her bath water for diaper rash,putting her in the front seat of the car,and salt on her baby food at 7months old and spanked her at 7 months also for not sitting still in her highchair. My father had temporary custody at the time so I couldnt do anything without risking her being put in foster care. I have worked very hard to regain custody of her and I dont leave her without my father being here also.Now it is basically the food issues.How can I let her know I am serious!!How do I get my step-mother to respect my parenting choices?
Sounds like she'd be better off in foster care that your step mom.


There is not alot you can do apart from not letting them care for your daughter but I'm guessing you can't afford not to have it that way.





HAve you talked to your Dad? Could he talk to her?


What about getting together some research about the negative effect of these types of foods for kids and giving it to you step mom????


Good luckHow do I get my step-mother to respect my parenting choices?
I can understand this. My mom (and dad) watches my son one day a week while I'm in college and she doesn't respect what I say about what she should and should not feed my son. My parents also have custody of my niece and feed her terrible things like fast food, soda, etc. and she's only 3.





My son is 20 months old as well. My mom gives him kool-aid instead of juice because she says he has to have some variety. They also give him sips from their diet sodas and feed him french fries from their fast food. I've tried talking to her about this and she just blows me off. She's even made comments that I shouldn't expect her to watch my son and then tell her how to do it. She continues to do what she wants... so I've decided to find alternate care.





In a month my son will start going to the college day care one day a week. I didn't want to have him in daycare because I really liked the idea of family caring for him... but I must put my foot down. He is my son and my rules need to be respected. Yours should be as well. Your step-mom sounds like she needs some FIRM boundaries set for her. Don't let her push you around. This is YOUR daughter.
Call social services (or a similar agency if you aren't in the U.S.). Let them know you are afraid for your child's welfare while your step-mother--who seems to be a raving lunatic--cares for your baby.
This is a hard one. Because seriously without you there, you can't know that she's getting proper nutrition. My mom is having the same problem with my sister.





She is 6 years old and is overweight. It's not a matter of her being plump, but she has respiratory issues (not from being over weight, but from being pre-mature)





Anyway her plump-ness will in fact kill her if it gets out of hand. And my grandmother and cousin will feed her junk just to make her happy, and my mom is getting btiched at by the doctors, and my mom is like health nut, she makes her eat healthy no refined sugars, all really good stuff and my mom also makes her work out with her... They take walks, ride bikes, and get a lot of activity.





But my gram lets her sit in front of the tv and eat mcdonalds, and ice cream and cookies... and then lets her go to bed.





It's very hard, my gram was at the doctors when he brought up the weight issue... my gram knows, and uses the excuse, ';well she wont eat anything else, I dont want her to go hungry'; and it's not that she wont eat good food, it's just my gram doesn't make her... she knows she can say no and get junk.





You will have this problem no matter what you say. It's either you put her in day care and not let her around that, or you just deal with it... it's not going to change.
I won't waste my time finding ways just to get her respect....





I'll try to look for friends or relatives who could help me temporarily till i get some stable job or something..
You may not be able to afford daycare but you can afford food. Send her with meals in little baggies, including lots of snacks you approve of.
i dont know where you live, but sometimes if you dont make enough money, you may qualify for free childcare. go to the center for children services there, and ask them if they help with childcare if you cant really afford it, I dont know where you are but in illinois, they do that. And it is with certified people too. I would not leave her alone with your step mother, especially hearing the things she does. My boyfriends mom use to watch her step kids and do some pretty horrible things too... not grandchildren but still.... I dont want to scare you so I'd rather not tell you everything. But you really need to think about your daughter. I know it is cheaper to have her stay there, but you only THINK that it is the food issues, you never know. I am not trying to be mean, I am just telling you, you know?
bleach in the bath water????? and you still want your child in the same vicinity as your stepmother???? You worked hard to get custody back, well it sounds to me like you are going to lose custody again with the way your stepmom is. It is your job as the parent to ensure to child is being protected and well nurished.


If you have to go on government assisstance until you can find another alternative to child care.