Thursday, May 13, 2010

Do you believe babysitting a child is the same as parenting a child?

Do people honestly believe that babysitting children gives them the experience of being parents and the capability to fully appreciate what parents go through enough to advise them on what they should or should not be doing?Do you believe babysitting a child is the same as parenting a child?
well it depends. Before having children I worked in several daycare centers and preschools and was a nanny for several families, live in and live out. I also had schooling in early childhood education and child development. I had a lot of experience with kids, maybe not as a parent myself but I do feel that someone with that much experience working with many children of all ages does have the knowledge to give advice. As far as fully appreciating what a parent goes through, probably not but advice sure.





When I was working at a nanny I often had parents ask me for advice about certain things and they often took my advice and got good results. I do think though, that before having kids of your own everything is easier said than done LOL I mean it's easy to know what the best thing to do is, it's harder to do it as the parent sometimes. Know what I mean?





But all in all I do think people who have experience as a ';babysitter'; (although I'm not talking about a teenage babysitter, I'm talking about someone who has made a carreer out of caring for many children), can offer good advice and know what they are talking about. They may not be able to relate as well to the personal feelings of being a parent but they certainly can sometimes know what would be best. Often parents are blinded by their own parental feelings and advice from an educated, experienced outsider who isn't emotionaly attached to the situation can be just what will make them see what's best. As a childcare provider I often spent more time with someone's child than they did. So I think it's off base to say I wouldn't have anything to offer those parents from my own experiences.





Now I have 4 children of my own and I do feel that all the experience I had working with so many kids before having my own made me a better parent (not better than other parents, I just mean a better parent than I might have been otherwise).Do you believe babysitting a child is the same as parenting a child?
Well, there's babysitting and then there's babysitting. If you mean someone who looks after children on the occasional parents night out, then of course not. But if you mean someone who takes care of a child at least 40 hours a week, well, maybe. Still, even the occasional babysitter sees things that the parents might not. Sometimes we, as parents, can't see the forest for the trees. If my babysitter said something to me, I don't think I would get on my high horse and dismiss it out of hand. I examine the possibility that she was on to something.
Parenting is the hardest job there is and there's no instruction manaul.


While babysitting can give some experience in parenting, it by no means makes one an expert in parenting. At best babysitting could give insight to an individuals' character traits, and help in the handling of that particular individual.
No, it's not the same at all. A babysitter only makes important decisions in an absolute emergency - hopefully he/she will never have to make any at all. A parent has to make such decisions all the time.





I think someone who has been a babysitter has more experience of what it's like to be a parent than someone who has never babysat, and may well have some good ideas in specific areas (for instance they may have lots of experience on how to comfort a kid who is missing mummy and is normally breastfed to sleep). But I don't think they can possibly understand what it's like to always be the one responsible, day in day out, and never get to walk away and go home.
It truly depends on the situation. I was a nanny for 7 years for 2 different families. One family I started when their daughter was 2 weeks old. They were almost nonexistant in most of her life. They would travel for weeks at a time and I would be the one with her. I was there for her first everything, good and bad. I ended up going to work for another family as a live in and went to part time with this family when she was 4 (I felt it was unfair to her and she needed them to be more of a part of her life and they now are). The new family I was with had 4 year old twins and I was a part of their day to day lives for 3 years.





Now, I baby sat when I was younger and definately dont think those little 2 hour jobs is the same as parenting.
Nope, not at all. Baby sitting can give you an small peek at what it's like to parent a child because for a short while you are the caregiver. BUT, it's vastly different when you have children of your own that you parent day in and day out. When you baby sit, you give back the children at the end of the night and they are most always told to be on their best behavior for you. When you are a parent, you have your children for better or worse and you love them no matter what and they are not always on their best behavior for you, lol.





Can it help to baby sit? I think so. But it doesn't hold a candle to having children of your own.
Of course it isn't the same - but just because it isn't the same doesn't mean that people can't have good ideas. There are a lot of things that I know nothing about but by being a logical human being I can glean some insight into them. I am not a doctor, yet I know when to take aspirin. I am not a mechanic, but I do know the basics of keeping my car running well. I had only used a computer for a few months before I started working on them 10 years ago - and found that I just had a knack for it with no experience or training. I know how teenagers work because I was one and had a lot of teenage friends and as an adult I can look back to my teenage years and theirs and logically see how our parents decisions effected us.





Have you ever tried to give advice to someone who lost a child without going through it yourself? Because you felt bad about what they were going through? Have you tried to give parenting advice even though you didn't have their child, but you had a child? It's the same thing. Personally, I think that people who are closed off to ideas are people who have made up their minds on certain things - and there's nothing wrong with that. The question is, do you need an excuse for not listening to the advice non parents are giving you? Be it the ';They aren't a parent so they don't understand'; or the ';My mother in law is just the worst with advice - it's so outdated'; or can you just say that the advice given just doesn't work for you and accept that it might work for someone else?
yes it can. I babysat 2 children who were 2 months and 2 years old. I took care of them from 7am-6pm 6 days a week. I had the kids more than their parents. I used all those skills I had from taking care of them to raise my own kids.


I cared and loved those kids as if they were my own.





Very interesting the thumbs downs. I guess people must have had different experiences to mine becuase I have 9 year old twins now and would have to say it was even easier to raise them than it was these other 2 children. I may have had a different relationship with these children than other people did babysitting. I am the one who looked after this older child while mum gave birth and she stayed with me for a couple of days, this is the mum that was there at the birth of my own children. I was very attached to these kids. I was the one that dealt with the temper tantrums, the sibling rivalry, the sicknesses, The trips to kinder and back, being on duty at kinder. If my children were being cared for by someone I would hope they built the same relationship with their career that i had with these kids. I was the one that read to them everyday, taught them to write their name, dried their tears and joined in with their laughter. I think it is sad that all these people that gave me thumbs down do not think there kids have that type of relationship with anyone other than them. This mother of these kids was estatic that her children had such a close relationship with me and thought of me as their second mum. As a mum now I can say I fealt the same way for those kids as I do my own. Maybe I am more caring than their babysitters. I was not in it for the money, I cared and loved those children
Not at all. A babysitter couldn't adopt my sixth sense or intuition. They wouldn't take the same bullet I would, or sacrifice that last piece of cake without a blink.





That doesn't mean I don't appreciate a great babysitter, take them for granted, or sneer at what they do. They're not a dime a dozen and a great one is hard to find. But the comparison of committment is apples to oranges.
Not to the extreme as a real parent but 3rd person point of view does come into effect.


A parent might be too concious of their problems and not see the bigger picture that someone outside the family could. Why else do we go to counselling and therapy. they can help point out issues and problems that we as parents might not see.


Don't forget kids acts differently most of the time especially when the parents aren't around
no i think it gives you a little taster of what its like to be a parent but mostly you are getting the best times you get to play with them or tuck them in to bed. you dont have any of the responsibility. and you most certainly do not have the experience to advise the parents on what they should be doing!!!!!!
LOL! Of course it's not. Oh, the poor souls who wholeheartedly believe that parenting is just an extended babysitting job - they're in for a rude awakening! I babysat and worked with children for years before I had my own. It's a completely new ball game.
of course not, unless you're like a full time nanny and the parents are rarely around. otherwise it's just a few hours and you can go back to your carefree childless life.
Absolutely not. I have my child day in and day out. I would be insulted if my sitter tried to advise on my parenting skills.
No. Babysitting is a part time job, parenting is a full time labour of love.
No of course not i expect them to have a little understanding but unless you look after a child 24/7 then no one has any idea what its really like to raise a child day and night
I hope not, that is ridiculous!

Is Liberalism anything more than an extended step of Gov parenting?

Same token, Is Conservatism just an extension of individualism?





Which can live without the other?Is Liberalism anything more than an extended step of Gov parenting?
Not a bad analysis.





Star for you.





(Personally, I would have compared liberalism to dysfunctional parenting by alcoholics, but that's just me.)Is Liberalism anything more than an extended step of Gov parenting?
liberalism is more of abortion-ism,conservatism is more parenting...
Nope just a bunch of turd skin loving socialists!
  • glitter eyeshadow
  • Where can I buy a robotic baby used to practice parenting?

    Like the ones given in Child Care classes in high schools, or better yet, like the ones in the movie License to Wed (see clips on YouTube)...Where can I buy a robotic baby used to practice parenting?
    Those things are like 500- 1000 dollors.Where can I buy a robotic baby used to practice parenting?
    Did you lose your homework?
    Those babies are very expensive. They have some babies out there for kids that kind of resemble the way a baby acts. Check those out before shelling out so much money.
    You can find them through a program called ';Baby Think it Over.'; It鈥檚 fairly expensive, over $400 for each baby, computer system, baby necessities鈥ou can learn more about the program and where to purchase everything here http://www.realityworks.com/products.htm鈥?/a>
    Don't know about the robotic babies but if you get a puppy, you will get lots of practice.You can get one at your local animal shelter. Get a 6 or 7 week old one. Get one that will fit your lifestyle.Make sure you want to bother with a pup though because they require a lot of love and attention.They also cost quiet a bit to raise one properly. Good Luck.
    Look it up on the internet or ask a high school teacher they should have one handy

    Where can I buy a robotic baby used to practice parenting?

    Like the ones given in Child Care classes in high schools, or better yet, like the ones in the movie License to Wed (see clips on YouTube)...Where can I buy a robotic baby used to practice parenting?
    Those things are like 500- 1000 dollors.Where can I buy a robotic baby used to practice parenting?
    Did you lose your homework?
    Those babies are very expensive. They have some babies out there for kids that kind of resemble the way a baby acts. Check those out before shelling out so much money.
    You can find them through a program called ';Baby Think it Over.'; It鈥檚 fairly expensive, over $400 for each baby, computer system, baby necessities鈥ou can learn more about the program and where to purchase everything here http://www.realityworks.com/products.htm鈥?/a>
    Don't know about the robotic babies but if you get a puppy, you will get lots of practice.You can get one at your local animal shelter. Get a 6 or 7 week old one. Get one that will fit your lifestyle.Make sure you want to bother with a pup though because they require a lot of love and attention.They also cost quiet a bit to raise one properly. Good Luck.
    Look it up on the internet or ask a high school teacher they should have one handy

    What are 3 web address' that are geared toward single parenting?

    http://www.parentswithoutpartners.org/





    http://www.parentsworld.com/index.php?na鈥?/a>





    http://www.singleparents.org/sites.htmlWhat are 3 web address' that are geared toward single parenting?
    For men, How about Singledad.com or Fatherhood.org


    For women, how about Singlemom.com and IVillage

    Report Abuse


    What are 3 web address' that are geared toward single parenting?
    I don't get your question. Can you please elaborate?





    www.singleparentsnetwork.com





    www.singleparents.org





    www.singleparentsonline.net





    Sorry, I guess the question wasn't that hard... My brain must have not been working very well yesterday afternoon. :)
    You should try this resource site: http://www.spiffybaby.com/resources


    They usually have some references and helpful hints.

    What to do when you and your husband differ on parenting styles?

    My husband and I agree on most everything on a lot of subjects, but parenting is one that we have a hard time agreeing on. My husband was also deployed for the first several months of my son's life, so it was mainly me doing the parenting. I'll give an example. My 15 month old son was given greenbeans. He took one bite and decided he didn't care for them. My husband flew off the handle and got up %26amp; put them back in his mouth telling him he will eat every last one of those veggies until they were gone. My thought is that as long as he tried it and doesn't throw them or say ';eww gross'; I don't mind if he doesn't finish that vegetable. My husband say's no way no how he will be spoiled and a picky eater. Today my son was trying to get to something that wasn't his and my husband put him on the other side of the room. That's fine and I agree. But 30 min. later my son was still not allowed to play on the other side of the room even when the temptation had been removed! What to do?What to do when you and your husband differ on parenting styles?
    Like others have already suggested, you and your husband need to sit down and discuss discpline measures when the child is not around. Make a list of possible things a child can do, run in the house, say ';dada';, give a hug, touch the stove, not eat his veggies, put his hand in the toilet, just a list of so many things bad, good, and passive. You each should write down or say how you would respond to the situation. Then make comprimises between both of your responses. Remember a child needs both positive and negative discplines in his life.





    If he doesn't see the point or still pushes too hard on your little one, you can suggest some sort of parenting group. In my area, there is a daddy boot camp that teaches men who want to be positive role models for their children these kinds of things. Most usually associate these kinds of things with men who won't be living with their children, but it is designed for all men.





    And a book is a great suggestion as well! Just a general parenting book concerning the age group your child is in, usually they discuss problems you will face like not wanting to try new things. (I remember reading it takes a child seeing something new 10 times before he will eat it)





    Good luck!What to do when you and your husband differ on parenting styles?
    You have to communicate with him. Not in the heat of the moment but before it happens. I am going through a similar situation with my husband. He, too, was deployed for a year. Our 2 1/2 year old son got used to my standards and then daddy came home trying to change them, or so it seemed. It was enough stress for him having to deal with the changes of daddy being back home, he didn't need the additional confusion. You two really have to talk this over and if you can't compromise on discipline, etc, you should see a counselor.
    Talk with your husband and tell him that while you agree that he should be punished the length of time is excessive for his age. Your husband may need to be reminded that the child is not even 2 years old. Children are meant to be children not men in the military. They will misbehave and they will test the waters but over-punishment will lead to resentment later in life. Sit down and try to come up with punishments that you both can agree upon. Such as time out, taking a toy away etc. Set the guidelines now so you don't have any surprises between the two of you.





    Regarding eating, it can take up to 10 attempts of introducing a new food to children. This is why so many parents give up on kids when they don't like something, they don't give him enough attempts to get used to the food. (This is something every nutritionist will explain to you when a child needs food therapy. The therapy is generally for children who have had stomach or intestinal problems that need to learn to eat solid foods later than most children. The great thing is, this therapy works for every kid.) Food, colors, textures as well as tastes need to be developed in every human. Try reminding him of a time when he refused to eat something as a child but now enjoys this food. Also, everyone has food that they do not like. It is a rule for a new food in our house with our daughter that she must take a no thank you bite each time it is in front of her. We understand that she may not like everything but she must give it a real attempt.





    Good luck
    Tell your husband to calm down. He is being way too harsh. As far as the veggies go, if he really wants him to eat them instead of forcing them on the child say just one bite. And hopefully your son will take one bite. Than say ';just one more bite'. That's how my MIL got my kids to eat what they didn't want to. Good luck and stick to your principles. If you don't agree with something your husband is doing try to work out a compromise you can both agree on.
    Your husband is being a little too harsh on your son. I would totally agree with him if your son was not listening and kept going over there anyway. That is different. But, if he already realized he can't have it and is not going back to it, then there's no need for further punishment.





    My husband used to get a little too harsh on our daughter sometimes and it was getting to me. So, I wrote him a letter. I've always found that my true feelings come out better in writing and you get your point across without arguments or interruptions. He read my letter and came to me when he was ready to talk about it. He said that he didn't really agree, but he will be more cautious as to how he is with her. Well, to be honest, I've never noticed any harshness since then.
    You said your husband was deployed for the first several months of your son's life... I would think that might have something to do with it. I've heard of instances where it's hard for a parent who's been away for so long to come back into the family setting. One parent is used to doing it all (that would be you) and the other feels kind of left out. Maybe he is over compensating for those missed months. Let him know that you do need him to help but you must both agree on things or the child will sense this weakness and learn to manipulate one parent against the other.





    I don't think your child will be a picky eater because he doesn't want to eat green beans. I gave my daughter fish the first time and she wouldn't touch it, the next time she loved it and asked for more, then the next time she hated it again. It's all part of the process of tasting things.





    My husband went a little overboard of the discipline one time but I stood behind him because I want my daughter to know that she can't get in trouble with daddy and come running to me to get her out of the situation. You just need to have a talk and agree to the boundaries when it comes to discipline and other major parenting issues.
    First of all your husband needs to realize your son is 15 months old, not an adult in the military. He is being WAY to hard on him. Kids learn through trial and error, and sometimes it takes 30 or 40 times for them to stop doing it. You need to get him some books and see if he will read them, of what should be expected of a child at what age. I agree with you on all your issues. It sounds like he is simply trying to control your child instead of teaching and understanding. And he is also setting a very bad example blowing up about everything, your son may start to mimic that when he is angry. He just has very high expectations for someone who has not had enough time to even learn the proper behavior yet, he is still a baby!


    Patience and understanding is what your husband needs to learn about being a father, its not just about obeying.
    WOW. Your son is too young for discipline like that! A 15 month old is not going to remember 30 minutes later why they were punished! And as for food - it can take 10-15 tries before a toddler is willing to eat a new food. Your husband is going to turn him into a picky eater by forcing him to eat what her does not like. Your son at least tried the food! (Spoiled would be making a separate meal for your child rather than having him choose from the food you have cooked for everyone).


    You need to sit down and have a serious talk about how you plan to raise him. You and your husband need to decide together (without the child around) what each of you expects, and how you can make it work for both of you. You should also have your husband read a parenting book that encourages positive discipline, not military action!
    You are going to have to compromise. Do not argue about the childs punishment in front ofthe child. The two of you need to sit down one day while your son is NOT around and talk about rules. What the two of you see and how things can be handled on certain things. It will confuse the child if you say one thing and daddy says something else. There are certain situtations that can be resolved fairly quickly. If you know your son does not like green beans then do not cook them. Cook something else until he finds a veggie he likes. When preparing his plate only give him a little bit of veggies so he isn't sitting there with a ton of veggies that your husband is 'forcing' him to eat. As a kid I never liked peas. My grandfather made me eat them. Till this day I still dont like peas. If someone doesn't like to eat something. Forcing them will not make it any better.





    Your husband needs to be careful at the way he handles your son. There is nothing wrong with displine and you want your child to know you mean business, but you also don't want your child to rebel.





    Good luck!!
    maybe you need to sit down with your husband and let him hear you out... without any talk back from him until your done.


    NO INTERUPPTIONS.! then let him say all he wants after you. NO INTERUPTIONS.! then keep doing that until you come to a ';middle path';.a compromise of parenting techniques that offer love and patience above all. first of all explain that your sons very young, but he doesnt deserve to be yelled at. ask your husband how he would feel, if he was forced to eat something he really detested. help your husband understand that kindness and love is above all with the little ones in the home. let the yelling and control stuff be left outside the home for the military. thank him in advance for listening to you. remember, your son is learning early to make decisions for himself. best wishes.
    Wow...sounds like your hubby is a hard assss! I would agree w/ you both situations! Just politly let your hubby know that you dont want a dictatorship in your household.....just let him know that a 15 month old still does not understand fully what is going on and if he doesnt like something then he wont eat it and maybe in a week or more you can try it again and he may like them! Also w/ him still not letting him do something after 30 min...that is crazy...everything I have read suggest that babies dont really have that long of a memory....just let him know that 1-2 min is good for time out for a 15 month old!





    Plus a 15 month explores everything (I have one) so letting him do something or not do something is just a learning process and should not be gone about harshly...they are still learning everything!

    What sort of parenting article would you want to read about?

    I am writing an article on parenting for my course. What sort of article on parenting would most interest you??please give reasons.thanks.What sort of parenting article would you want to read about?
    ';Teen pregnancy'; and how to avoid it or how to confront it, without regrets.