you are still going to pay c/s !
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Can one appeal a signed parenting plan mediation agreement?
I signed off thinking that it was going to be the best for the kids but within one day I found out based on her actions it was a mistake. Is there anything one can do or is it to late. I though she had changed and was going to start being a mother again but now see it was nothing more then a ploy to get the child support.Can one appeal a signed parenting plan mediation agreement?
you are still going to pay c/s !pimple
you are still going to pay c/s !
Discuss Atticus' parenting style. How do you feel that he has been a good or bad parent?
This question came from to kill a mockingbird.Discuss Atticus' parenting style. How do you feel that he has been a good or bad parent?
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee; Student Literature Guides:
http://www.pinkmonkey.com/booknotes/monk鈥?/a>
http://www.gradesaver.com/classicnotes/t鈥?/a>
http://www.cliffsnotes.com/WileyCDA/LitN鈥?/a>
http://www.sparknotes.com/lit/mocking/
http://www.pinkmonkey.com/booknotes/barr鈥?/a>
http://www.homework-online.com/tkamb/ind鈥?/a>
http://www.novelguide.com/tokillamocking鈥?/a>
http://www.bookwolf.com/Free_Booknotes/T鈥?/a>
http://www.awerty.com/tokill2.htmlDiscuss Atticus' parenting style. How do you feel that he has been a good or bad parent?
I think he gives them enough freedom. He disciplines them well, and takes good care of them.
i dont think its good cuz he puts too much trust in his kids to do the right thing instead of actually teaching them
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee; Student Literature Guides:
http://www.pinkmonkey.com/booknotes/monk鈥?/a>
http://www.gradesaver.com/classicnotes/t鈥?/a>
http://www.cliffsnotes.com/WileyCDA/LitN鈥?/a>
http://www.sparknotes.com/lit/mocking/
http://www.pinkmonkey.com/booknotes/barr鈥?/a>
http://www.homework-online.com/tkamb/ind鈥?/a>
http://www.novelguide.com/tokillamocking鈥?/a>
http://www.bookwolf.com/Free_Booknotes/T鈥?/a>
http://www.awerty.com/tokill2.htmlDiscuss Atticus' parenting style. How do you feel that he has been a good or bad parent?
I think he gives them enough freedom. He disciplines them well, and takes good care of them.
i dont think its good cuz he puts too much trust in his kids to do the right thing instead of actually teaching them
What is your reason for parenting the way you do?
What I mean is .... do you do what your parents do? or What it says to do in books? or What you like of what your parents did, but deciding to do some things different than them because you vowed as a child never to that to your kids when you didn't like something your parents did? Or any other reasons you may have?What is your reason for parenting the way you do?
I do some things differently. my mil hates it that I dont let my children gorge on sweets, I told her once, look at your sons pictures at 8yrs old and tell me how you felt about him starting to be chunky, she shut up after that,lolWhat is your reason for parenting the way you do?
I try to just use common sense and good judgement. I really don't buy into all these books, there is always a new fad of parenting and it changes all the time. I do some stuff the same as my mother, I am fairly strict, and am teaching my children manners and to respect others, but I'm sure there are times when my mom thinks I am too lenient. I let my son jump around alot more, and I am more affectionate with my children as my parents were not so much.
I started parenting when I was young when I first turned 21. I have been learning as I go along....not only from myself but other parents and people that I look up to.
I make mistakes and will make more. Now I'm a single parent which makes things 10x more difficult and my children are teens.
I have actually heard myself say things my mother said and I vowed to never do that when I was a child....I apologized though....not much you can do once it comes out. I think stress and being overwhelmed gets the best of me at times. But 9 times out of 10 or more...I am very careful that I don't say hurtful things I will regret later because my mom and dad did hurt me with their words, so I don't want to do that to mine.
Your child holds all the future before them. Your mission if you wish to accept it or even if you don't is to help them be the best they can be. So now you can narrow your question down to ';what is best for my child';.
Here is one thing to keep in mind, they will one day have to think for themselves. So you could teach them responsibilities. If you have some personal values like be trust worthy or respect others personal space. You know, fool the kid into thinking you know what your doing.
Is this mission impossible?
I mostly do the things my parents did, but I try to love my children more and hold them more and cuddle with them more. My parents were great parents, but they were not (and are not still) affectionate. There was nothing that my parents did that I swore I would never do though. Same with my husband. Our parents parented in very similar ways, aside from the affection issue--his were very affectionate.
i think the way i parent my daughter now had a lot to do with how my parents raised me.
i am a little more lax with my daughter in regards to running and around the house and being loud (she's 17 months old). my mom hates that i let her run and yell, but she's a kid and i don't live in a museum, so i don't see a problem with letting her have fun every now and again when we are at home.
We parent differently to our parents because the culture and times have changed. Our aim is to have happy, healthy, well mannered, well adjusted, productive adult children. We are ecclectic in following the advise of family, friends, medical staff, and parenting experts.
i think with my husband and i we discipline our children they way we were disciplined for the majority of it. But, we have picked up a few things of our own through the way and we implement those too. But, honestly i would say when I discipline my oldest son, I hear my parents words through my voice. lol. i dont always want it to be that way, but it does happen. lol.
I hardly do anything my parents did. I parent a certain way , based on each child's needs, in order to make sure they develop academically and emotionally and grow up to be self confident adults.
Our parenting is 10% our parents 20% the opposite of our parents 30% books and research and other parent's opinion 40% instinct.
I take what I've learned from parents, friends, doctors, books, internet.. etc. and mush that all together to form my own gut feeling on what I should do. If that makes sense.
We do what works for our child to grow up as a decent human being. All children are different, and they respond to different parenting methods.
All the best.
I do some things differently. my mil hates it that I dont let my children gorge on sweets, I told her once, look at your sons pictures at 8yrs old and tell me how you felt about him starting to be chunky, she shut up after that,lolWhat is your reason for parenting the way you do?
I try to just use common sense and good judgement. I really don't buy into all these books, there is always a new fad of parenting and it changes all the time. I do some stuff the same as my mother, I am fairly strict, and am teaching my children manners and to respect others, but I'm sure there are times when my mom thinks I am too lenient. I let my son jump around alot more, and I am more affectionate with my children as my parents were not so much.
I started parenting when I was young when I first turned 21. I have been learning as I go along....not only from myself but other parents and people that I look up to.
I make mistakes and will make more. Now I'm a single parent which makes things 10x more difficult and my children are teens.
I have actually heard myself say things my mother said and I vowed to never do that when I was a child....I apologized though....not much you can do once it comes out. I think stress and being overwhelmed gets the best of me at times. But 9 times out of 10 or more...I am very careful that I don't say hurtful things I will regret later because my mom and dad did hurt me with their words, so I don't want to do that to mine.
Your child holds all the future before them. Your mission if you wish to accept it or even if you don't is to help them be the best they can be. So now you can narrow your question down to ';what is best for my child';.
Here is one thing to keep in mind, they will one day have to think for themselves. So you could teach them responsibilities. If you have some personal values like be trust worthy or respect others personal space. You know, fool the kid into thinking you know what your doing.
Is this mission impossible?
I mostly do the things my parents did, but I try to love my children more and hold them more and cuddle with them more. My parents were great parents, but they were not (and are not still) affectionate. There was nothing that my parents did that I swore I would never do though. Same with my husband. Our parents parented in very similar ways, aside from the affection issue--his were very affectionate.
i think the way i parent my daughter now had a lot to do with how my parents raised me.
i am a little more lax with my daughter in regards to running and around the house and being loud (she's 17 months old). my mom hates that i let her run and yell, but she's a kid and i don't live in a museum, so i don't see a problem with letting her have fun every now and again when we are at home.
We parent differently to our parents because the culture and times have changed. Our aim is to have happy, healthy, well mannered, well adjusted, productive adult children. We are ecclectic in following the advise of family, friends, medical staff, and parenting experts.
i think with my husband and i we discipline our children they way we were disciplined for the majority of it. But, we have picked up a few things of our own through the way and we implement those too. But, honestly i would say when I discipline my oldest son, I hear my parents words through my voice. lol. i dont always want it to be that way, but it does happen. lol.
I hardly do anything my parents did. I parent a certain way , based on each child's needs, in order to make sure they develop academically and emotionally and grow up to be self confident adults.
Our parenting is 10% our parents 20% the opposite of our parents 30% books and research and other parent's opinion 40% instinct.
I take what I've learned from parents, friends, doctors, books, internet.. etc. and mush that all together to form my own gut feeling on what I should do. If that makes sense.
We do what works for our child to grow up as a decent human being. All children are different, and they respond to different parenting methods.
All the best.
Has anyone taken an online parenting class that was court order appoved?
California. Are they free? Does the court realy accept the certificate from online courses?Has anyone taken an online parenting class that was court order appoved?
To my knowledge there are no free court acknowledged parenting classes. I took the online parenting class offered by www.parentingchoice.com to satisfy a requirement for my divorce. I'm in Texas, but the site says they do have California court approval. I would put in a call to the district court your case is being handled by to verify before spending any money. The class cost was $39.99.
Best of luck.Has anyone taken an online parenting class that was court order appoved?
No.
To my knowledge there are no free court acknowledged parenting classes. I took the online parenting class offered by www.parentingchoice.com to satisfy a requirement for my divorce. I'm in Texas, but the site says they do have California court approval. I would put in a call to the district court your case is being handled by to verify before spending any money. The class cost was $39.99.
Best of luck.Has anyone taken an online parenting class that was court order appoved?
No.
What do you think of the Nanny show where the aproach to parenting is concerned?
The naughty step routine for example, does it really work?What do you think of the Nanny show where the aproach to parenting is concerned?
I think a lot of her ideas are good - I used time out naughty step - funny but rewards never did it for my boy - consequences worked better for him. The stuff she does works but you have to give it time and commitment
She is really training and working with the parents and not the kids - I think she can be a little patronising sometimes - but I also think some the parents go back to old habits as soon as she walks out the doorWhat do you think of the Nanny show where the aproach to parenting is concerned?
I don't like that show, because she stays there for like what..one week? Now i have kids, and if somebody TOTALLY new and different came into there life's for one week and told them how to act and whatever, they would see it as a game and play along but as soon as the new lady leaves they go right back to being themselves. Kids don't come with Manuel's, every kid is different and they don't fit into these little boxes this show tries to put them in.
If you don't have stairs it isn't going to work is it....
I use the time out, but not like her.
When a child of mine is time out, they are to stay there until they are calm and clear minded. I will not let them out, if they continue to be rude, and unruly. And I don't use the 1 minute per year, as stated I wait till they are ready to behave themselves.
For serious misbehaving they are placed in their rooms, at their desks, with a few colouring books and crayons. So they can have some quiet time, and think about their behaviour.
It's working for us. Our Eldest came to live with us 10 months ago and was completely out of control, and he has really improved from this. Our 3yo are well behaved as well. Our 10 month old twins, well they need a little work.
more details...what is the naughty step routine?
I think a lot of her ideas are good - I used time out naughty step - funny but rewards never did it for my boy - consequences worked better for him. The stuff she does works but you have to give it time and commitment
She is really training and working with the parents and not the kids - I think she can be a little patronising sometimes - but I also think some the parents go back to old habits as soon as she walks out the doorWhat do you think of the Nanny show where the aproach to parenting is concerned?
I don't like that show, because she stays there for like what..one week? Now i have kids, and if somebody TOTALLY new and different came into there life's for one week and told them how to act and whatever, they would see it as a game and play along but as soon as the new lady leaves they go right back to being themselves. Kids don't come with Manuel's, every kid is different and they don't fit into these little boxes this show tries to put them in.
If you don't have stairs it isn't going to work is it....
I use the time out, but not like her.
When a child of mine is time out, they are to stay there until they are calm and clear minded. I will not let them out, if they continue to be rude, and unruly. And I don't use the 1 minute per year, as stated I wait till they are ready to behave themselves.
For serious misbehaving they are placed in their rooms, at their desks, with a few colouring books and crayons. So they can have some quiet time, and think about their behaviour.
It's working for us. Our Eldest came to live with us 10 months ago and was completely out of control, and he has really improved from this. Our 3yo are well behaved as well. Our 10 month old twins, well they need a little work.
more details...what is the naughty step routine?
How would an American mother react when father and has better parenting skills than she has?
How would an American mother react when her husband/ or soon ex is a very good father and has better parenting skills than she has and can trust him 100 percent as a parent?How would an American mother react when father and has better parenting skills than she has?
I would divorce him, take all our money and marry a druggie who makes no money and neglects my children. Notice any sarcasm?
How do you get enough points to continuosly ask these ridiculous questions? Even with a new name, you are still just as annoying (and I'm not on this site as much as the regulars. You need to be removed once and for all.How would an American mother react when father and has better parenting skills than she has?
I'd be glad if my husband had the best parenting abilities on the planet. Both parents should have great parenting skills.
What's the problem?
I agree with Rebecca...
I would divorce him, take all our money and marry a druggie who makes no money and neglects my children. Notice any sarcasm?
How do you get enough points to continuosly ask these ridiculous questions? Even with a new name, you are still just as annoying (and I'm not on this site as much as the regulars. You need to be removed once and for all.How would an American mother react when father and has better parenting skills than she has?
I'd be glad if my husband had the best parenting abilities on the planet. Both parents should have great parenting skills.
What's the problem?
I agree with Rebecca...
When it comes to Parenting do you consider yourself liberal or conservative?
Or perhaps you are like me, somewhere in the middle? I want my kids to be open minded and accepting that people are different and that it's OK to be different. On the flip side, I want them to have a code of morals and values upholding marriage, family and strong character.
What about you?
p.s. I'm on lunch break and I thought I'd ask another silly question!When it comes to Parenting do you consider yourself liberal or conservative?
A little in the middle, but mainly towards conservative. We are raising our children as God instructs us to according to the Bible and part of that also is to be accepting of others, respect others and to love others regardless of their differences to them. They will know what is right according to the Bible and we will encourage them to love God above all else, but we will let them decide for themselves whether or not they wish to follow God. We cannot force them to, but we can do our best to raise them to the way God has commanded us to.
We pretty much instill the same things you do. We are liberal conservatives. We don't agree with abortion or support being pro-choice and we certainly don't agree with homosexuality, but we respect that others feel differently.When it comes to Parenting do you consider yourself liberal or conservative?
Depends on who I compare myself to. If I compare myself to the average American way of thinking; no spanking, don't tell you kids,';No';, never tell teenagers to abstain from sex, homeschooling is bad for kids' socialization (ect).........then I guess I am conservative because I totally disagree with every one of those examples and many other popular parenting practices.
But if you compare me to the ultra-conservative types who think everything about TV and music is bad, who believe that children should be seen and not heard, who believe that public school is bad for kids, then I would be considered liberal because I don't believe any of those things, either.
So my answer is that it totally depends on who you compare me to.
I guess by the MAJORITY of the world's standards, I am conservative.
I'm not exactly sure what constitutes liberal or conservative with respect to parenting. I'm certainly liberal politically, and I share those beliefs with my kids. I'd like to think being liberal isn't inconsistent with having a strong moral code or character, and I certainly want my kids to have that, as well.
We don't spank, which some people will say makes us ';liberal'; parents. We do, however, have firm expectations of our kids' behavior, which I would say makes us in some ways ';conservative'; parents. And judging by some of the things I see kids my kids' ages doing, I'm very much ';conservative'; by comparison (no cell phone in 4th grade; very little tv time; they dress conservatively (I don't actually think it's conservative, but compared to some of the stuff that's being sold for their ages I guess it is); not watching movies rated over their age ranges, etc).
I guess that makes me a mix. How about I'll say I'm a ';reasonable'; parent? ;-)
eta -- not a silly question, btw. fairly thought-provoking, actually.
Its always tough when you grow up and have kids of your own, isn't it? I always thought my parents were wrong for not liking my boyfriends when I was growing up. Now I have to deal with my sons little girlfriends who are just way too young for sex. He is still a virgin, at least that's what he tells me. I just had a conversation with him last night and told him straight up what I thought. I basically told him how I felt about what he does, but he's going to learn from his mistakes. I have said everything I possibly could to keep him from getting his girlfriend pregnant and he just blushes and gets all embarrassed. I can't watch him all the time and its only going to be a matter of time before he realizes I'm right. :) How was lunch?
I am the same, I am very open and want my kids to be very open minded but at the same time they must be upstanding people, honestm caring, loyal and hard working...but they can date whomever they want...as my family is very mixed racially and we just found out that my cousin in a lesbian and I have cousins that have different baby mommas and have kids out of wedlock....I teach my kids not to look down on them but at the same time I want my kids to have a secure marriage before kids if possible...I know all I can do is be a good parent and hope they learn from that..but I will not judge them for whatever choices they make when they are older....
I agree I am in the middle too but leaning more on the conservative side.I think it is good for children to be who they are and open mind but at the same time I want them to share the same values and morals as me and my husband.I personally think you can do both.
People can't figure me out--lol. In most ways I am kind of crunchy--I believe that talking and explaining or a ';No'; works most of the time. I also do not want to run a military camp--and want them to explore and make mistakes, etc.
On the other hand I have no faith in time outs, naughty chairs, etc.--when punishment is called for I spank.
My kids are punished less than most kids, but probably spanked more.
You tell me what I am:)
I consider myself a conservative-liberal (ie I'm liberal, but not extremely right-wing) - in my parenting and politics.
I'm curious to see the answers on this. I would like to think I'm in the middle, but my girls think I'm pretty strict. I suppose if they go by the standards of their friends, then yes, I'm very conservative.
I think it's interesting how we all define what is of most important to us.
I sort of agree with Des. We have VERY high expectations of our children, in terms of behavior and education. However, my oldest had a cell phone in second grade and I do not think they dress very conservatively. They wear glitz and glam and they鈥檙e all about expressing themselves with fashion. ha ha
Although, I am very conservative about their manners, study habits and going out to friends houses. My home is welcome to their friends but I鈥檓 pretty strict about letting my kids out of my site. I'm getting better with my oldest. She has been given a bit more freedom to go to sleepovers and such, as long as her phone is fully charged. I'm very much*in their business* and I have a good relationship with their teachers. We talk daily (or almost daily). I'm also pretty conservative about their diets. I fully expect them to eat healthy in general. I don't mind the occasional snack, at all, but their health is extremely important to me.
I expect them to do chores. They do not get an allowance for doing chores. They get money when they need it (books, activities, movies or outings with friends) but chores are an expected part of being in our family and I will not pay for those.
When they get in trouble- they REALLY get in trouble. I do not spank. I do a full-blown punishment consisting of electronics taken away, no phone calls to friends or from friends and no visits and no outing for x amount of time. I don't think I make life easy on them.
Some might argue they are tad bit materialistically and attention spoiled, but they don't get away with anything in this house. lolpimple
What about you?
p.s. I'm on lunch break and I thought I'd ask another silly question!When it comes to Parenting do you consider yourself liberal or conservative?
A little in the middle, but mainly towards conservative. We are raising our children as God instructs us to according to the Bible and part of that also is to be accepting of others, respect others and to love others regardless of their differences to them. They will know what is right according to the Bible and we will encourage them to love God above all else, but we will let them decide for themselves whether or not they wish to follow God. We cannot force them to, but we can do our best to raise them to the way God has commanded us to.
We pretty much instill the same things you do. We are liberal conservatives. We don't agree with abortion or support being pro-choice and we certainly don't agree with homosexuality, but we respect that others feel differently.When it comes to Parenting do you consider yourself liberal or conservative?
Depends on who I compare myself to. If I compare myself to the average American way of thinking; no spanking, don't tell you kids,';No';, never tell teenagers to abstain from sex, homeschooling is bad for kids' socialization (ect).........then I guess I am conservative because I totally disagree with every one of those examples and many other popular parenting practices.
But if you compare me to the ultra-conservative types who think everything about TV and music is bad, who believe that children should be seen and not heard, who believe that public school is bad for kids, then I would be considered liberal because I don't believe any of those things, either.
So my answer is that it totally depends on who you compare me to.
I guess by the MAJORITY of the world's standards, I am conservative.
I'm not exactly sure what constitutes liberal or conservative with respect to parenting. I'm certainly liberal politically, and I share those beliefs with my kids. I'd like to think being liberal isn't inconsistent with having a strong moral code or character, and I certainly want my kids to have that, as well.
We don't spank, which some people will say makes us ';liberal'; parents. We do, however, have firm expectations of our kids' behavior, which I would say makes us in some ways ';conservative'; parents. And judging by some of the things I see kids my kids' ages doing, I'm very much ';conservative'; by comparison (no cell phone in 4th grade; very little tv time; they dress conservatively (I don't actually think it's conservative, but compared to some of the stuff that's being sold for their ages I guess it is); not watching movies rated over their age ranges, etc).
I guess that makes me a mix. How about I'll say I'm a ';reasonable'; parent? ;-)
eta -- not a silly question, btw. fairly thought-provoking, actually.
Its always tough when you grow up and have kids of your own, isn't it? I always thought my parents were wrong for not liking my boyfriends when I was growing up. Now I have to deal with my sons little girlfriends who are just way too young for sex. He is still a virgin, at least that's what he tells me. I just had a conversation with him last night and told him straight up what I thought. I basically told him how I felt about what he does, but he's going to learn from his mistakes. I have said everything I possibly could to keep him from getting his girlfriend pregnant and he just blushes and gets all embarrassed. I can't watch him all the time and its only going to be a matter of time before he realizes I'm right. :) How was lunch?
I am the same, I am very open and want my kids to be very open minded but at the same time they must be upstanding people, honestm caring, loyal and hard working...but they can date whomever they want...as my family is very mixed racially and we just found out that my cousin in a lesbian and I have cousins that have different baby mommas and have kids out of wedlock....I teach my kids not to look down on them but at the same time I want my kids to have a secure marriage before kids if possible...I know all I can do is be a good parent and hope they learn from that..but I will not judge them for whatever choices they make when they are older....
I agree I am in the middle too but leaning more on the conservative side.I think it is good for children to be who they are and open mind but at the same time I want them to share the same values and morals as me and my husband.I personally think you can do both.
People can't figure me out--lol. In most ways I am kind of crunchy--I believe that talking and explaining or a ';No'; works most of the time. I also do not want to run a military camp--and want them to explore and make mistakes, etc.
On the other hand I have no faith in time outs, naughty chairs, etc.--when punishment is called for I spank.
My kids are punished less than most kids, but probably spanked more.
You tell me what I am:)
I consider myself a conservative-liberal (ie I'm liberal, but not extremely right-wing) - in my parenting and politics.
I'm curious to see the answers on this. I would like to think I'm in the middle, but my girls think I'm pretty strict. I suppose if they go by the standards of their friends, then yes, I'm very conservative.
I think it's interesting how we all define what is of most important to us.
I sort of agree with Des. We have VERY high expectations of our children, in terms of behavior and education. However, my oldest had a cell phone in second grade and I do not think they dress very conservatively. They wear glitz and glam and they鈥檙e all about expressing themselves with fashion. ha ha
Although, I am very conservative about their manners, study habits and going out to friends houses. My home is welcome to their friends but I鈥檓 pretty strict about letting my kids out of my site. I'm getting better with my oldest. She has been given a bit more freedom to go to sleepovers and such, as long as her phone is fully charged. I'm very much*in their business* and I have a good relationship with their teachers. We talk daily (or almost daily). I'm also pretty conservative about their diets. I fully expect them to eat healthy in general. I don't mind the occasional snack, at all, but their health is extremely important to me.
I expect them to do chores. They do not get an allowance for doing chores. They get money when they need it (books, activities, movies or outings with friends) but chores are an expected part of being in our family and I will not pay for those.
When they get in trouble- they REALLY get in trouble. I do not spank. I do a full-blown punishment consisting of electronics taken away, no phone calls to friends or from friends and no visits and no outing for x amount of time. I don't think I make life easy on them.
Some might argue they are tad bit materialistically and attention spoiled, but they don't get away with anything in this house. lol
Truthfully, do you hate the fact that there is teenagers in the parenting section?
Does it bother you or do you not mind if they actually have something helpful to say.Truthfully, do you hate the fact that there is teenagers in the parenting section?
Some of the ones that don't have kids, but yet tell us to raise our kids. Yes that can bug me. But I don't care that much, it's pretty easy to ignore them.Truthfully, do you hate the fact that there is teenagers in the parenting section?
If they're parents, no, it doesn't bother me.
But yeah, it's a bit irritating to have some of the teens on here just spouting off their opinions. Most of the ones I dislike are ';OMG, PARENTS ARE SO AWFUL, I HATE MY LIFE AND YOU'RE ALL BAD PPL FOR TELLING US WHAT TO DO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE!!!!'; That's irritating. Especially annoying is the teen who thinks they're some great martyr at the hands of parents everywhere (because mom took away her cell phone, OMG) and is going through some silly 'anti-authority' phase, thus comes on here and criticizes everyone who doesn't think kids should run the family's life.
If they have something constructive to say, I've got no problem, but I'm pretty sick of getting thumbed and PM'ed because I have opinions on discipline that angsty emo-kid teenagers don't want to hear.
It does not bother me that they are here but It does bother me when they answer questions in such a bad way that you can tell they are teenagers. I am a mom and when I hear people say ';dude wow omg that is so fkin amzng'; I do not like that...when people say ';oh my goodness that is great that he did that'; than I am fine with it because it is a person who knows how to talk in proper english...like your picture and about me seems like you are a teen but you use very nice grammer and spelling. I know some kids dont even know what ';considered'; and ';hence'; mean but I am glad that you do. ((:
thanks so much for the question...stay in school haha.((:
They have entire college courses on child psychology. And it's required for certain jobs, so yeah, I think that there's a reason for thinking people need to be qualified in order to handle children. The average teen clearly isn't if many of them end up pregnant by 16. That alone shows they aren't being taught enough about the very first step to parenthood (sex). So imagine, if a person has trouble finding the latch to open the hood of your car, why would you trust them when they say they know how to repair the radiator?
Anyone can become a parent, but there are few good ones in the world. Since it's not common, nor easy, it isn't right for anyone and everyone to believe they have something to contribute on the matter. A variety of views is good, but if it's too easy for someone to believe what a teen says about parenthood... well, just because advice sounds good doesn't mean it is.
Experience will tell a person what works and what doesn't. So I think that teenagers and those younger should offer their view of what *they* know. Same goes for us adults. For example, I myself ask people younger than me about how they get along with their parents. I want to know what it's like for them, what it means to be a teenager nowadays, because that's what they are. In the same way I don't ask parents what younger people think. 'You are what you are, don't try to overstep your bounds' could be a way of looking at it.
Of course I don't mind, but when some start a answer by saying ''I don't have a child but, ....'' I mean it just pisses me off a tad bit because I would have most likely been looking for a parent who has had similar experiences to me who can give me through %26amp; well laied out advice to follow. But not to the extent where I wouldn't value their opinions.
I somewhat take offense to this. I was a parent at 16 and 17 and have read more books on SIDS, child-rearing, pregnancy, infancy, behavioral disorders, than my library carries.
As long as teens who answer or ask questions aren't DoInG ThiNGZ LiKE ThIZ, and asking or answering questions in an educated manner, I'm cool. But there are some grown people guilty of what I described.
yes it aggrivates me. i can't tell you how many times i have posted a question that i wanted a PARENTS (or ADULTS) view on and i got a bunch of snotty answers from a bunch of teenagers that have no clue what they are talking about. it's one thing if they can give a mature well thought out opinion but when they answer you with stupid stuff it gets annoying.
Being a teenager doesn't make your advice any less (or more) valid. Do you have to be a parent to give a parent advice? What makes ';parents'; the only experts on parenting? Even Mattel asks their customers what they think once in a while.
my son keeps asking me to get him an account (he's 13) and i keep putting him off. i thought that was too young? but at least he's asking i guess.
i think it's good to get a kid's perspective - sometimes. as long as theyre not being obnoxious about it.
If the person I'm talking about knows what he is talking about I would listen to him. You don't necessarely have to be young or old to know about life stuff, you might see it around... and know about it. So not really...
I like when teenagers answer as well as people that actually have kids. Most teenagers are not stupid and can think of good ideas even if they have not had personal experience in parenting. I have gotten great answers from teenagers(not all of them).
i think its good for teenagers (mature ones) to be in this section as sometimes parents forget what its like to be the one whos not the boss
so they lose sight of what will actually get through to teens
Why should it matter truthfully some teens have children and are good parents and can provide someone with help. Also they may need to ask a parenting question. Now it does bother me to see all the trolls on here
Well I'm not a parent YET, but I would take advice from anybody who sounds like he/she knows what he/she is talking abt. I don't care abt the age.
Hey if you are a good parent i dont care how old you are.
Some of the ones that don't have kids, but yet tell us to raise our kids. Yes that can bug me. But I don't care that much, it's pretty easy to ignore them.Truthfully, do you hate the fact that there is teenagers in the parenting section?
If they're parents, no, it doesn't bother me.
But yeah, it's a bit irritating to have some of the teens on here just spouting off their opinions. Most of the ones I dislike are ';OMG, PARENTS ARE SO AWFUL, I HATE MY LIFE AND YOU'RE ALL BAD PPL FOR TELLING US WHAT TO DO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE!!!!'; That's irritating. Especially annoying is the teen who thinks they're some great martyr at the hands of parents everywhere (because mom took away her cell phone, OMG) and is going through some silly 'anti-authority' phase, thus comes on here and criticizes everyone who doesn't think kids should run the family's life.
If they have something constructive to say, I've got no problem, but I'm pretty sick of getting thumbed and PM'ed because I have opinions on discipline that angsty emo-kid teenagers don't want to hear.
It does not bother me that they are here but It does bother me when they answer questions in such a bad way that you can tell they are teenagers. I am a mom and when I hear people say ';dude wow omg that is so fkin amzng'; I do not like that...when people say ';oh my goodness that is great that he did that'; than I am fine with it because it is a person who knows how to talk in proper english...like your picture and about me seems like you are a teen but you use very nice grammer and spelling. I know some kids dont even know what ';considered'; and ';hence'; mean but I am glad that you do. ((:
thanks so much for the question...stay in school haha.((:
They have entire college courses on child psychology. And it's required for certain jobs, so yeah, I think that there's a reason for thinking people need to be qualified in order to handle children. The average teen clearly isn't if many of them end up pregnant by 16. That alone shows they aren't being taught enough about the very first step to parenthood (sex). So imagine, if a person has trouble finding the latch to open the hood of your car, why would you trust them when they say they know how to repair the radiator?
Anyone can become a parent, but there are few good ones in the world. Since it's not common, nor easy, it isn't right for anyone and everyone to believe they have something to contribute on the matter. A variety of views is good, but if it's too easy for someone to believe what a teen says about parenthood... well, just because advice sounds good doesn't mean it is.
Experience will tell a person what works and what doesn't. So I think that teenagers and those younger should offer their view of what *they* know. Same goes for us adults. For example, I myself ask people younger than me about how they get along with their parents. I want to know what it's like for them, what it means to be a teenager nowadays, because that's what they are. In the same way I don't ask parents what younger people think. 'You are what you are, don't try to overstep your bounds' could be a way of looking at it.
Of course I don't mind, but when some start a answer by saying ''I don't have a child but, ....'' I mean it just pisses me off a tad bit because I would have most likely been looking for a parent who has had similar experiences to me who can give me through %26amp; well laied out advice to follow. But not to the extent where I wouldn't value their opinions.
I somewhat take offense to this. I was a parent at 16 and 17 and have read more books on SIDS, child-rearing, pregnancy, infancy, behavioral disorders, than my library carries.
As long as teens who answer or ask questions aren't DoInG ThiNGZ LiKE ThIZ, and asking or answering questions in an educated manner, I'm cool. But there are some grown people guilty of what I described.
yes it aggrivates me. i can't tell you how many times i have posted a question that i wanted a PARENTS (or ADULTS) view on and i got a bunch of snotty answers from a bunch of teenagers that have no clue what they are talking about. it's one thing if they can give a mature well thought out opinion but when they answer you with stupid stuff it gets annoying.
Being a teenager doesn't make your advice any less (or more) valid. Do you have to be a parent to give a parent advice? What makes ';parents'; the only experts on parenting? Even Mattel asks their customers what they think once in a while.
my son keeps asking me to get him an account (he's 13) and i keep putting him off. i thought that was too young? but at least he's asking i guess.
i think it's good to get a kid's perspective - sometimes. as long as theyre not being obnoxious about it.
If the person I'm talking about knows what he is talking about I would listen to him. You don't necessarely have to be young or old to know about life stuff, you might see it around... and know about it. So not really...
I like when teenagers answer as well as people that actually have kids. Most teenagers are not stupid and can think of good ideas even if they have not had personal experience in parenting. I have gotten great answers from teenagers(not all of them).
i think its good for teenagers (mature ones) to be in this section as sometimes parents forget what its like to be the one whos not the boss
so they lose sight of what will actually get through to teens
Why should it matter truthfully some teens have children and are good parents and can provide someone with help. Also they may need to ask a parenting question. Now it does bother me to see all the trolls on here
Well I'm not a parent YET, but I would take advice from anybody who sounds like he/she knows what he/she is talking abt. I don't care abt the age.
Hey if you are a good parent i dont care how old you are.
What do you believe happened with delinquent children? Was it poor parenting? ?
What strategies do you believe will get a child to be a good student, and never delinquent?What do you believe happened with delinquent children? Was it poor parenting? ?
I am a sociologist, and I know that one of the most respected theories of delinquency is called control theory. Essentially it says that people do deviant things when there is nothing to stop them. For kids, the kinds of ';controls'; that stop them from becoming delinquent include parenting that teaches the child socially acceptable values and standards, supervision, involvement with school and school activities, and acceptance of society's laws and values.
Poor parenting can certainly set the stage for a child to become delinquent. Lack of supervision, substance addiction, and failure to teach kids values may give kids the freedom to get into trouble and fail to give them any reasons why they shouldn't. But other important influences are the peer group and the way the child spends his/her time. If the child is involved with school, meaning they want to do well, get good grades and participate in school activities, they are more likely to choose friends who are good influences and to avoid bad behavior (because it can get them kicked off the team or expelled from school). Religious involvement has also been shown to prevent delinquency.
The bottom line: Supervise your child, communicate your values (even if they don't seem to listen), model good behavior, take them to church if you are religious, emphasize good grades and attendance at school, get them involved in constructive activities from little on, and know who their friends are. There are no guarantees, and no way to make them totally resistant to bad peer influence, but you can do a lot to stack the odds in your favor. Good for you for believing parents can still make a difference!
EDIT: To Mommy of 4: Having money doesn't protect against delinquency, it just reduces the likelihood of getting caught and punished for it. I know parents who had nice big houses and left their teens alone in them. Guess what happened?What do you believe happened with delinquent children? Was it poor parenting? ?
Well, I think that not only what the parents teach affects their attitide, personality and behavior, but also the enviornment that they live in. Take this as an example-- if both parents (or guardians) work all day, and the child is home alone, he will more than likely be getting into more trouble/mischief than a child that has a stay at home parent. And since when have you seen a juvenille delinquent that lives in a nice, beautfiul neighborhood with big houses and nice cars? Haven't you seen more delinquents from let's say, a trailer park? ....Another example of how enviornment affects kids. Another thing that affects children's behavior is the type of friends and people he or she is exposed to.
The strategies? Well, obviously punish for bad behavior, pressure good school and working habits (but obviously not too much). Chores, also are a great thing for any child to do. It teaches them respect, and also how to keep up a clean house.
I think that's pretty much all I can say on the topic....
Good Luck!
Izzy
Always be there for your child! I think every child should have a time when they just want to hang out with friends and forget about school,but it is up to the parent to set a good example and stress the importance education has on ones life without being overwhelming.
My sister and I got into trouble when we were teenagers. Both got pregnant at 16, but we went through our troublesome behavior early, and I think that is important. My other oldest sister was a honor roll student, graduated on time, never did drugs, or drank until she was 21 and then she became an alcoholic a drug addict, and at age 32 she lost her daughter and has a 21 year old boyfriend.
As for me and my other sister, I am a mom of 3, and a college student, no drugs, no smoking, no alcohol. Same for my sister.
My parents always stressed the importance of education no matter the circumstances and I think that helped a great deal in my decision to finish high school and to start college.
There is no perfect child. Everyone goes through rough times and if they don't do it younger they will do it when they are older and that may interfere with their adult life and family.
I am a sociologist, and I know that one of the most respected theories of delinquency is called control theory. Essentially it says that people do deviant things when there is nothing to stop them. For kids, the kinds of ';controls'; that stop them from becoming delinquent include parenting that teaches the child socially acceptable values and standards, supervision, involvement with school and school activities, and acceptance of society's laws and values.
Poor parenting can certainly set the stage for a child to become delinquent. Lack of supervision, substance addiction, and failure to teach kids values may give kids the freedom to get into trouble and fail to give them any reasons why they shouldn't. But other important influences are the peer group and the way the child spends his/her time. If the child is involved with school, meaning they want to do well, get good grades and participate in school activities, they are more likely to choose friends who are good influences and to avoid bad behavior (because it can get them kicked off the team or expelled from school). Religious involvement has also been shown to prevent delinquency.
The bottom line: Supervise your child, communicate your values (even if they don't seem to listen), model good behavior, take them to church if you are religious, emphasize good grades and attendance at school, get them involved in constructive activities from little on, and know who their friends are. There are no guarantees, and no way to make them totally resistant to bad peer influence, but you can do a lot to stack the odds in your favor. Good for you for believing parents can still make a difference!
EDIT: To Mommy of 4: Having money doesn't protect against delinquency, it just reduces the likelihood of getting caught and punished for it. I know parents who had nice big houses and left their teens alone in them. Guess what happened?What do you believe happened with delinquent children? Was it poor parenting? ?
Well, I think that not only what the parents teach affects their attitide, personality and behavior, but also the enviornment that they live in. Take this as an example-- if both parents (or guardians) work all day, and the child is home alone, he will more than likely be getting into more trouble/mischief than a child that has a stay at home parent. And since when have you seen a juvenille delinquent that lives in a nice, beautfiul neighborhood with big houses and nice cars? Haven't you seen more delinquents from let's say, a trailer park? ....Another example of how enviornment affects kids. Another thing that affects children's behavior is the type of friends and people he or she is exposed to.
The strategies? Well, obviously punish for bad behavior, pressure good school and working habits (but obviously not too much). Chores, also are a great thing for any child to do. It teaches them respect, and also how to keep up a clean house.
I think that's pretty much all I can say on the topic....
Good Luck!
Izzy
Always be there for your child! I think every child should have a time when they just want to hang out with friends and forget about school,but it is up to the parent to set a good example and stress the importance education has on ones life without being overwhelming.
My sister and I got into trouble when we were teenagers. Both got pregnant at 16, but we went through our troublesome behavior early, and I think that is important. My other oldest sister was a honor roll student, graduated on time, never did drugs, or drank until she was 21 and then she became an alcoholic a drug addict, and at age 32 she lost her daughter and has a 21 year old boyfriend.
As for me and my other sister, I am a mom of 3, and a college student, no drugs, no smoking, no alcohol. Same for my sister.
My parents always stressed the importance of education no matter the circumstances and I think that helped a great deal in my decision to finish high school and to start college.
There is no perfect child. Everyone goes through rough times and if they don't do it younger they will do it when they are older and that may interfere with their adult life and family.
What would you say to a friend who constantly critisizes your parenting, but does an awful job herself?
A 'friend' of mine constantly critisizes my parenting choices, from discipline to what my kids wear, plus makes smart comments all the time if my house is messy, or I'm wearing grubbies. Her house is constantly filthy, and she's usually dressed up because someone else is watching her kids for her! What can I say to make a point but not be rude?What would you say to a friend who constantly critisizes your parenting, but does an awful job herself?
Is your friend a particular family member of mine? Lol!!!
I think probaly every single person in the world knows someone like this, I don't know why people do it! It always seems to me like the people who have the least room to talk have the most to say. I'm guilty of not sticking up for myself enough with my family, if they critisize or 'question' things that I do I tend not to argue, but if they keep pushing that might change! When I have kids (in a few weeks I'll be fostering kids), I won't be taking any criticisms of them, especially since the person who does it the most was a pretty horrible mother to her own kids when they were little. If it's really starting to bother you, try saying ';that's fine, I don't really mind if my house is a bit messy, what I couldn't stand is if it got dirty (meaning like her house)';, or comments like that that gently point out that you don't really think much of her way of doing things either. If all else fails, start standing up to your friend! That's what I will do. Good luck and commiserations!What would you say to a friend who constantly critisizes your parenting, but does an awful job herself?
I'd tell her honestly that her constant criticism of your parenting and about you are putting a strain on your friendship. I'd ask her to exercise the same restraint that you have shown her.
Why don鈥檛 you say the same things about your friends house when you visit her?
Make comments and tell her how to keep her house straight and be sympathetic that her house it a lot is a lot messier even when she have maids to look after her kids. And then tell her that鈥檚 its a lot easier to preach than practice.
You can always ignore her comments. Let people say all they want. I鈥檓 sure that you know that you are doing the correct thing and the best you can.
I had a friend exactly like that when I was raising my now grown (and doing wonderful) kids. I pointed out to her one day that if she wasn't so busy pointing fingers at me, she would have more time to give her own kids some much needed attention... Believe me, it got the point across!!!!
If she is really your friend and you wish to keep it that way you might say something like, ';I am complimented that you feel comfortable enough to say something like that to me, but really, I can't imagine why you take such interest in the way I raise my children.'; (keep my house, etc.)
If you need to be a little more pointed, you might say, ';Tell you what: why don't we each keep our thoughts to ourselves about this kind of thing so that neither of us gets our feelings hurt?';
Next level: ';Honestly? I don't think you have a thing to teach me about that. Why don't we give this whole area of conversation a permanent rest?';
If you don't wish to remain ';friends';: ';I don't see how the way I raise my children is any of your business. Your opinion on this is not wanted or needed.';
If this person is persistent: ';Mind your own business. From the look of things over at your place, someone needs to for a change.';
Or, you might invoke the tried and true: ';Kiss my ***, twice. Buzz off.'; Easy to get your drift and and not so subtle that she could somehow overlook your point.
You don't say anything to HER. You say it to YOURSELF! And what you say is - ';GOSH! This is not my friend. I'm going to choose to spend my time elsewhere and with other people!';
If she's your friend than you can be straight forward with her. If she gets angry with you, then she's not worth hanging out with. I would just tell her while you respect her opinions, you would like it if she stopped being so critical of everything you do. (Besides usually people who constantly down others are compensating for their own short comings.)
I would distance myself from such a friend.
She is being rude. Be rude back. Tell her to stay the **** out of your business and get her own life in order.
I value your friendship but your constant criticism is driving me away. I won't badmouth your life if you don't badmouth mine.
Why even bother having a 'friend' like that at all.
';Don't give advice where it isn't wanted.'; or ';Practice what you preach.';
Well Theres a time and place to be rude and this is one of them. You could always do the childess comeback ;) ';I wouldnt be talking homie'; xD
Well good luck cause people like that(hypocryphs) bug me too! =)
Tell her ';That its great you are giving me advice, I think it is nice. But this is My house, and my children and I would like it if you would stop.';
Don't answer her rudeness by being rude yourself. You may just end up with an argument.
You can tell her flat out you think she is being rude. She is entitled to her opinion, but you do not wish to hear it any longer. After that, if she brings it up, you will probably need to just end the conversation by telling her that topic is not open for discussion with her.
Good luck!
Is your friend a particular family member of mine? Lol!!!
I think probaly every single person in the world knows someone like this, I don't know why people do it! It always seems to me like the people who have the least room to talk have the most to say. I'm guilty of not sticking up for myself enough with my family, if they critisize or 'question' things that I do I tend not to argue, but if they keep pushing that might change! When I have kids (in a few weeks I'll be fostering kids), I won't be taking any criticisms of them, especially since the person who does it the most was a pretty horrible mother to her own kids when they were little. If it's really starting to bother you, try saying ';that's fine, I don't really mind if my house is a bit messy, what I couldn't stand is if it got dirty (meaning like her house)';, or comments like that that gently point out that you don't really think much of her way of doing things either. If all else fails, start standing up to your friend! That's what I will do. Good luck and commiserations!What would you say to a friend who constantly critisizes your parenting, but does an awful job herself?
I'd tell her honestly that her constant criticism of your parenting and about you are putting a strain on your friendship. I'd ask her to exercise the same restraint that you have shown her.
Why don鈥檛 you say the same things about your friends house when you visit her?
Make comments and tell her how to keep her house straight and be sympathetic that her house it a lot is a lot messier even when she have maids to look after her kids. And then tell her that鈥檚 its a lot easier to preach than practice.
You can always ignore her comments. Let people say all they want. I鈥檓 sure that you know that you are doing the correct thing and the best you can.
I had a friend exactly like that when I was raising my now grown (and doing wonderful) kids. I pointed out to her one day that if she wasn't so busy pointing fingers at me, she would have more time to give her own kids some much needed attention... Believe me, it got the point across!!!!
If she is really your friend and you wish to keep it that way you might say something like, ';I am complimented that you feel comfortable enough to say something like that to me, but really, I can't imagine why you take such interest in the way I raise my children.'; (keep my house, etc.)
If you need to be a little more pointed, you might say, ';Tell you what: why don't we each keep our thoughts to ourselves about this kind of thing so that neither of us gets our feelings hurt?';
Next level: ';Honestly? I don't think you have a thing to teach me about that. Why don't we give this whole area of conversation a permanent rest?';
If you don't wish to remain ';friends';: ';I don't see how the way I raise my children is any of your business. Your opinion on this is not wanted or needed.';
If this person is persistent: ';Mind your own business. From the look of things over at your place, someone needs to for a change.';
Or, you might invoke the tried and true: ';Kiss my ***, twice. Buzz off.'; Easy to get your drift and and not so subtle that she could somehow overlook your point.
You don't say anything to HER. You say it to YOURSELF! And what you say is - ';GOSH! This is not my friend. I'm going to choose to spend my time elsewhere and with other people!';
If she's your friend than you can be straight forward with her. If she gets angry with you, then she's not worth hanging out with. I would just tell her while you respect her opinions, you would like it if she stopped being so critical of everything you do. (Besides usually people who constantly down others are compensating for their own short comings.)
I would distance myself from such a friend.
She is being rude. Be rude back. Tell her to stay the **** out of your business and get her own life in order.
I value your friendship but your constant criticism is driving me away. I won't badmouth your life if you don't badmouth mine.
Why even bother having a 'friend' like that at all.
';Don't give advice where it isn't wanted.'; or ';Practice what you preach.';
Well Theres a time and place to be rude and this is one of them. You could always do the childess comeback ;) ';I wouldnt be talking homie'; xD
Well good luck cause people like that(hypocryphs) bug me too! =)
Tell her ';That its great you are giving me advice, I think it is nice. But this is My house, and my children and I would like it if you would stop.';
Don't answer her rudeness by being rude yourself. You may just end up with an argument.
You can tell her flat out you think she is being rude. She is entitled to her opinion, but you do not wish to hear it any longer. After that, if she brings it up, you will probably need to just end the conversation by telling her that topic is not open for discussion with her.
Good luck!
What is the correct parenting approach to take?
My b/f's son was with us this past week, and my b/f was upset with me for asking his son to chew with his mouth closed 3 times in an entire week. He, however, didn't even acknowledge that was happening, and therefore didn't say anything to him. His son also would push on my seat when we rode 9 hours in the car, and I asked him to stop, again, another thing that my b/f got upset with me about. His reasoning is that kids are kids and you have to have patience with this stuf, and you can't ride them because it will make them hate you... but where do you draw the line? What is the right thing to do? Why?
His son is 9.What is the correct parenting approach to take?
I think you asked entirely the wrong question. I think you should have asked if your parenting styles are reasonably compatible enough for you to continue your relationship, or ask if you should negotiate guidelines that will enable the three of you to be a set piece. Asking what the correct parenting approach to take means nothing if the two of you cannot mutually agree and accept what is tolerable and reasonable. Talk to him, now, and seriously. Accept that if your boyfriend draws his line and you draw your line and both lines are too far apart from one another the relationship between the three of you is doomed to a ton of pain and angst. The number of relationships that have collapsed because one partner could not deal with or accept the attitude of the birth parent to their child are legion and would fill an encyclopaedia.What is the correct parenting approach to take?
Hmmm...this is a toughie...
You are the ';girlfriend';...you are not mom. So there is no parenting approach for YOU to take with the SON...
However, it sounds like your boyfriend isn't teaching his son any manners, and it's possible that his son resents you (kicking the back of your seat sounds hostile for a nine-year-old; he ought to know better by now).
If I were you, I'd discuss your requirements with the boyfriend (I don't like it when your son kicks me, it's disrespectful, etc etc). If the boyfriend won't change, then you'll have to consider ditching HIM, because he's probably not gonna EVER put you first in this situation, if he won't even take your concerns seriously...
Good luck with this one...
His son is old enough to know what he is doing, and what he is doing is trying to push your buttons to get you angry and play you off of your boyfriend. You and the boyfriend need to have a private 1:1 conversation about how the two of you will discipline his kid when you are together. This will include the basic respect that you expect from both the kid and your b/f. If that can not happen, then call it quits right now, because this will be a no win situation for you.
First get support from your boyfriend...
Holding kids to higher standards is called teaching. Parenting is not a popularity contest. We teach kid because we want them to grow up to be decent self-disciplined adults one day... avoiding the lessons of today justs makes things harder for everyone tomorrow.
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I think you B.F is feeling guilty about only having his son part of the time, but it still does not excuse the fact that all kids need discipline. Yes you have to pick your battles, but there has to be a line. He needs to be taught manners and what is right from wrong. If the B.F does not understand that i would think again about the relationship.
All of the things his son did are NORMAL! I have an 8 year old I have to ask her constantly to not kick the chair in front of her at the movies and to chew with her mouth closed. Bottom line is unless he is doing something dangerous or is being outright rude on purpose, you have no right to correct him. If he will get hurt as a result of his actions or hurt someone else then you can chime in, leave the little stuff to his parents.
tell him to control his child.....but that might make him mad...but if he wants to be with you then he has to teach his child to respect you! He's 9 he should already know how to keep his mouth shut while he chews....KIDS....lol.... he is right about one thing kids will be kids but if you don't tell them right from wrong and disipline them now they will never learn and never know respect...............
Read Dr. Sears. He is the Patron Saint of child rearing. Don't trust your own judgement, buy his manual. Pretty soon, kids will be born with Dr.Sears' book attached to their umbilical cords instead of a placenta. j/k
Honestly, I'd have a heart to heart with your boyfriend about this, and you need to re-evaluate this relationship with the kid factor and his child rearing principles. Just think about it. Where can you see this going in 5 years? What if you get married and have your own kids? My senses tell me it's not a good combination. Good luck.
Your boyfriend needs to understand that you do have some sort of say so with his son, IF your relationship is headed down the path towards a family (you, him and his son). I would have said something to the kid when he was kicking my seat too. LOL, you should have driven the rest of the way and let your boyfriend sit in your seat see how he would have liked that for 9 hours!! Sorry, anyways ask him if the tables were turned what would he say? How would he act and how would he feel if you were acting like him. Your boyfriend need to sit down with his son and have a talk about when people say to stop doing something that is not nice he should stop. Hope that helps.
You are right to speak up. Some people just let their kids run over them from day 1, and what fine adults do they think they are going to be? Usually, they turn out to be worthless punks! You do have to excercise patience, but that means correcting him in a calm, polite way, NOT ignoring the problem and letting the kid be in control all the time! I'm sorry to tell you, but if your bf and you do not see eye to eye on this type of situation, you have a rocky road ahead of you!! You need to keep your cool at all times, but do let your bf know he can let his child run over him if he wants, but you will not allow it, now or ever!! The child will eventually learn this, too. They know who will take their crap, and who won't and they learn to behave accordingly.
Unfortunately, since this is your bestfriend's kid, you don't have a right to parent him. Let your friend parent the way he wants to or he'll just think you're annoying. So what do you do about the bad behavior? Don't hang out with the kid. If you're friend asks why you don't want to hang out with his son, just tell him the child's behavior annoys you, but you respect his right to parent the way he wants to. You just don't want to have to deal with the result of it. Smile when you say it and it will soften the blow. If your friend is offended, then move on. Chances are it will make him think, anyway.
i personally as a mother would have done the same thing with my son chewing with mouth open is disgusting and kicking the seat is a big no no if you are gonna be part of his life his kids are gonna have to listen to you as well he should not get mad at you cause you are trying if you don't they will walk all over you you do need patience but as well as discipline
First of all, do you really want this guy as a boyfriend? The way he's raising his kid is a huge clue as to how he's try to raise any kid ya'll might have. I'm totally on your side. Kids need rules and they need to respect others. My 4 year old chews with her mouth shut. Matter of fact, when my kids turn two, we teach them to hold their finger over their mouth while chewing until they chew with their mouth shut. Its a nasty habit and it exceedingly poor manners. About the seat, I'd say something too! Next time, tell him to push his Dad's seat instead of yours, because you don't appreciate it. Until a kid has rules that have been tested and held up, they'll keep trying the boundaries. Sounds like both his parents are too lenient with them. Out of all my parents, my step Mom was the only one who laid out ground rules and stuck to them. As an adult, I love and respect her that much more for the house rules she had. I have alot of bad habits broken by her, even if I hated it at the time.
He's afraid to be a real parent because he fears his son won't like him. The right thing to do is be a real parent and not their friend. You have a rough time ahead of you if this childs father doesn't get with the program.
That's a tough question. Everyone has their own approach. I don't think you did anything wrong by asking the boy to stop kicking your seat. That would drive me nuts. Your bf might not realize what h is doing or maybe is a little embarrassed and doesn't know what to do. He might feel like he is being judged by you on how to raise a child. He's right that kids will be kids and that you need to have patience with them. But you need to have patience for them to make mistakes and help them learn from it. If you tell him to stop kicking your seat you need to explain why your asking him to stop. you can say ';can you please stop kicking the seat it hurts my back'; that way they maybe can understand why what they were doing is wrong. But if the problem lies more in your b/f then you need to talk to him in a way that don't make it look like you are criticizing his parenting skills. He might be learning himself and doing the best he can.
You did fine. Children need to be disciplined. He is old enough to know not to do these things . He is just trying to get attention. I would be patient with him. It doesn't sound like he was ever taught to have manners. You can not be upset with someone for doing something if they were never taught. Tell your boyfriend your concerns and let him handle it.
';His reasoning is that kids are kids and you have to have patience with this stuf, and you can't ride them because it will make them hate you..';
That's the biggest pile of nonsensical B/S I've seen in the past 20 years. I EFFING HATE THAT APPROACH!!!! Kids have to be trained to be polite and listen to their parents and adults. This just doesn't happen by chance!!!!! What happens when that little brat is a teen ager? I tell you what, he does whatever the hel1 he wants to do, that's what.
Your b/f erred when he did not reinforce your authority. He's a horrible parent, lose him now or you'll end up with a brat like that one. The other wife left him for a reason you know......
There is nothing wrong with asking a 9 year old to quit pushing on the back of your seat, he is perfectly capable of controling himself and knows better. As for the chewing...I hate that too but that IS a habit thats hard to break. Although I don't think asking him 3 times in a week is excessive. Gentle reminders is what its going to take.
I think you were right. If the child is bothering you, you should say so. When it comes to discipline, that should be left up to your boyfriend. If things continue, and the child still misbehaves, tell your boyfriend your concerns, and insist he deal with it.
YES FOR SURE, KIDS ARE KIDS!! IF YOU DO NOT TEACH THEM ANYTHING, HOW WILL THEY LEARN. YOUR B/F IS JUST BEING A PROTECTIVE PARENT. RESPECT MEANS, THE CARE AND CONSIDERATION OF HOW OTHERS THINK AND FEEL. WORKS BOTH WAYS!! AND ALSO YOUR B/F IS A MALE. MALE AND FEMALE COME FROM DIFFERENT PLANETS, YOU KNOW. HOPE THIS HELPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A 9 year old should be over both of these habits, and your b/f should be reprimanding him. You had every right to step in, but maybe you should have expressed your concerns to the father before going straight to the son.
His son is 9.What is the correct parenting approach to take?
I think you asked entirely the wrong question. I think you should have asked if your parenting styles are reasonably compatible enough for you to continue your relationship, or ask if you should negotiate guidelines that will enable the three of you to be a set piece. Asking what the correct parenting approach to take means nothing if the two of you cannot mutually agree and accept what is tolerable and reasonable. Talk to him, now, and seriously. Accept that if your boyfriend draws his line and you draw your line and both lines are too far apart from one another the relationship between the three of you is doomed to a ton of pain and angst. The number of relationships that have collapsed because one partner could not deal with or accept the attitude of the birth parent to their child are legion and would fill an encyclopaedia.What is the correct parenting approach to take?
Hmmm...this is a toughie...
You are the ';girlfriend';...you are not mom. So there is no parenting approach for YOU to take with the SON...
However, it sounds like your boyfriend isn't teaching his son any manners, and it's possible that his son resents you (kicking the back of your seat sounds hostile for a nine-year-old; he ought to know better by now).
If I were you, I'd discuss your requirements with the boyfriend (I don't like it when your son kicks me, it's disrespectful, etc etc). If the boyfriend won't change, then you'll have to consider ditching HIM, because he's probably not gonna EVER put you first in this situation, if he won't even take your concerns seriously...
Good luck with this one...
His son is old enough to know what he is doing, and what he is doing is trying to push your buttons to get you angry and play you off of your boyfriend. You and the boyfriend need to have a private 1:1 conversation about how the two of you will discipline his kid when you are together. This will include the basic respect that you expect from both the kid and your b/f. If that can not happen, then call it quits right now, because this will be a no win situation for you.
First get support from your boyfriend...
Holding kids to higher standards is called teaching. Parenting is not a popularity contest. We teach kid because we want them to grow up to be decent self-disciplined adults one day... avoiding the lessons of today justs makes things harder for everyone tomorrow.
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I think you B.F is feeling guilty about only having his son part of the time, but it still does not excuse the fact that all kids need discipline. Yes you have to pick your battles, but there has to be a line. He needs to be taught manners and what is right from wrong. If the B.F does not understand that i would think again about the relationship.
All of the things his son did are NORMAL! I have an 8 year old I have to ask her constantly to not kick the chair in front of her at the movies and to chew with her mouth closed. Bottom line is unless he is doing something dangerous or is being outright rude on purpose, you have no right to correct him. If he will get hurt as a result of his actions or hurt someone else then you can chime in, leave the little stuff to his parents.
tell him to control his child.....but that might make him mad...but if he wants to be with you then he has to teach his child to respect you! He's 9 he should already know how to keep his mouth shut while he chews....KIDS....lol.... he is right about one thing kids will be kids but if you don't tell them right from wrong and disipline them now they will never learn and never know respect...............
Read Dr. Sears. He is the Patron Saint of child rearing. Don't trust your own judgement, buy his manual. Pretty soon, kids will be born with Dr.Sears' book attached to their umbilical cords instead of a placenta. j/k
Honestly, I'd have a heart to heart with your boyfriend about this, and you need to re-evaluate this relationship with the kid factor and his child rearing principles. Just think about it. Where can you see this going in 5 years? What if you get married and have your own kids? My senses tell me it's not a good combination. Good luck.
Your boyfriend needs to understand that you do have some sort of say so with his son, IF your relationship is headed down the path towards a family (you, him and his son). I would have said something to the kid when he was kicking my seat too. LOL, you should have driven the rest of the way and let your boyfriend sit in your seat see how he would have liked that for 9 hours!! Sorry, anyways ask him if the tables were turned what would he say? How would he act and how would he feel if you were acting like him. Your boyfriend need to sit down with his son and have a talk about when people say to stop doing something that is not nice he should stop. Hope that helps.
You are right to speak up. Some people just let their kids run over them from day 1, and what fine adults do they think they are going to be? Usually, they turn out to be worthless punks! You do have to excercise patience, but that means correcting him in a calm, polite way, NOT ignoring the problem and letting the kid be in control all the time! I'm sorry to tell you, but if your bf and you do not see eye to eye on this type of situation, you have a rocky road ahead of you!! You need to keep your cool at all times, but do let your bf know he can let his child run over him if he wants, but you will not allow it, now or ever!! The child will eventually learn this, too. They know who will take their crap, and who won't and they learn to behave accordingly.
Unfortunately, since this is your bestfriend's kid, you don't have a right to parent him. Let your friend parent the way he wants to or he'll just think you're annoying. So what do you do about the bad behavior? Don't hang out with the kid. If you're friend asks why you don't want to hang out with his son, just tell him the child's behavior annoys you, but you respect his right to parent the way he wants to. You just don't want to have to deal with the result of it. Smile when you say it and it will soften the blow. If your friend is offended, then move on. Chances are it will make him think, anyway.
i personally as a mother would have done the same thing with my son chewing with mouth open is disgusting and kicking the seat is a big no no if you are gonna be part of his life his kids are gonna have to listen to you as well he should not get mad at you cause you are trying if you don't they will walk all over you you do need patience but as well as discipline
First of all, do you really want this guy as a boyfriend? The way he's raising his kid is a huge clue as to how he's try to raise any kid ya'll might have. I'm totally on your side. Kids need rules and they need to respect others. My 4 year old chews with her mouth shut. Matter of fact, when my kids turn two, we teach them to hold their finger over their mouth while chewing until they chew with their mouth shut. Its a nasty habit and it exceedingly poor manners. About the seat, I'd say something too! Next time, tell him to push his Dad's seat instead of yours, because you don't appreciate it. Until a kid has rules that have been tested and held up, they'll keep trying the boundaries. Sounds like both his parents are too lenient with them. Out of all my parents, my step Mom was the only one who laid out ground rules and stuck to them. As an adult, I love and respect her that much more for the house rules she had. I have alot of bad habits broken by her, even if I hated it at the time.
He's afraid to be a real parent because he fears his son won't like him. The right thing to do is be a real parent and not their friend. You have a rough time ahead of you if this childs father doesn't get with the program.
That's a tough question. Everyone has their own approach. I don't think you did anything wrong by asking the boy to stop kicking your seat. That would drive me nuts. Your bf might not realize what h is doing or maybe is a little embarrassed and doesn't know what to do. He might feel like he is being judged by you on how to raise a child. He's right that kids will be kids and that you need to have patience with them. But you need to have patience for them to make mistakes and help them learn from it. If you tell him to stop kicking your seat you need to explain why your asking him to stop. you can say ';can you please stop kicking the seat it hurts my back'; that way they maybe can understand why what they were doing is wrong. But if the problem lies more in your b/f then you need to talk to him in a way that don't make it look like you are criticizing his parenting skills. He might be learning himself and doing the best he can.
You did fine. Children need to be disciplined. He is old enough to know not to do these things . He is just trying to get attention. I would be patient with him. It doesn't sound like he was ever taught to have manners. You can not be upset with someone for doing something if they were never taught. Tell your boyfriend your concerns and let him handle it.
';His reasoning is that kids are kids and you have to have patience with this stuf, and you can't ride them because it will make them hate you..';
That's the biggest pile of nonsensical B/S I've seen in the past 20 years. I EFFING HATE THAT APPROACH!!!! Kids have to be trained to be polite and listen to their parents and adults. This just doesn't happen by chance!!!!! What happens when that little brat is a teen ager? I tell you what, he does whatever the hel1 he wants to do, that's what.
Your b/f erred when he did not reinforce your authority. He's a horrible parent, lose him now or you'll end up with a brat like that one. The other wife left him for a reason you know......
There is nothing wrong with asking a 9 year old to quit pushing on the back of your seat, he is perfectly capable of controling himself and knows better. As for the chewing...I hate that too but that IS a habit thats hard to break. Although I don't think asking him 3 times in a week is excessive. Gentle reminders is what its going to take.
I think you were right. If the child is bothering you, you should say so. When it comes to discipline, that should be left up to your boyfriend. If things continue, and the child still misbehaves, tell your boyfriend your concerns, and insist he deal with it.
YES FOR SURE, KIDS ARE KIDS!! IF YOU DO NOT TEACH THEM ANYTHING, HOW WILL THEY LEARN. YOUR B/F IS JUST BEING A PROTECTIVE PARENT. RESPECT MEANS, THE CARE AND CONSIDERATION OF HOW OTHERS THINK AND FEEL. WORKS BOTH WAYS!! AND ALSO YOUR B/F IS A MALE. MALE AND FEMALE COME FROM DIFFERENT PLANETS, YOU KNOW. HOPE THIS HELPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A 9 year old should be over both of these habits, and your b/f should be reprimanding him. You had every right to step in, but maybe you should have expressed your concerns to the father before going straight to the son.
What are your favorite parenting books?
I am about to have my first baby and getting really worried about all the responsibilities of raising a child. I don't know much about good parenting and about raising good kids.
Are there any parenting books you would highly recommend? I realize that book knowledge will not make me a perfect parent, but I have to start somewhere!What are your favorite parenting books?
There are plenty in libraries just take a few home, have a good read whilst you are pg and relax... look for ones written by drs /or children experts.
You will glean some interesting facts -there are also some good publications out like mother and baby magazine and you could maybe subscribe for a year , this is what I done.
The books will soon be forgotten when instinct kicks in and you will wonder why you ever worried, as 99.9% of women make excellent mothers without books to read! You just 'know'!What are your favorite parenting books?
I had my first baby last year. This book helped me on basic questions:
Your Baby's First Year, Week by Week
by Glade B. Curtis, Judith Schuler
All the books from that series was very helpful to me.
The ';What to Expect'; series is also good, especially babies first year,%26amp; the toddler one.
For good parenting in general, I would suggest to get involved, mildly, into a playgroup. If your hospital offers a get together with other moms to talk, attend, because you never know who you're gonna meet.
Basically you want to build your own support network, for yourself, and baby too.
There is no book on good parenting. You must learn/discover what type of parent you are/want to be first.
Just remember to try not to get too overwhelmed. Take it one step at a time each day. And always know you're the one, in the end, you're the one who knows your child best. Always trust your GUT instincts.
Besides the bible i think green eggs and ham to be a good parenting book ..
The Bible, and Studying it.
Best Wishes!!
Are there any parenting books you would highly recommend? I realize that book knowledge will not make me a perfect parent, but I have to start somewhere!What are your favorite parenting books?
There are plenty in libraries just take a few home, have a good read whilst you are pg and relax... look for ones written by drs /or children experts.
You will glean some interesting facts -there are also some good publications out like mother and baby magazine and you could maybe subscribe for a year , this is what I done.
The books will soon be forgotten when instinct kicks in and you will wonder why you ever worried, as 99.9% of women make excellent mothers without books to read! You just 'know'!What are your favorite parenting books?
I had my first baby last year. This book helped me on basic questions:
Your Baby's First Year, Week by Week
by Glade B. Curtis, Judith Schuler
All the books from that series was very helpful to me.
The ';What to Expect'; series is also good, especially babies first year,%26amp; the toddler one.
For good parenting in general, I would suggest to get involved, mildly, into a playgroup. If your hospital offers a get together with other moms to talk, attend, because you never know who you're gonna meet.
Basically you want to build your own support network, for yourself, and baby too.
There is no book on good parenting. You must learn/discover what type of parent you are/want to be first.
Just remember to try not to get too overwhelmed. Take it one step at a time each day. And always know you're the one, in the end, you're the one who knows your child best. Always trust your GUT instincts.
Besides the bible i think green eggs and ham to be a good parenting book ..
The Bible, and Studying it.
Best Wishes!!
Can any moms tell me about breast pumps, and a few parenting tips?
It's for a friend who's 17 years old. Thanks.Can any moms tell me about breast pumps, and a few parenting tips?
I have 2 boys, 1 is 8 yrs. the other 19 months, I breast fed both of them for 6 months. The MOST important thing for your friend to know is to make sure she is not too hard on herself, breastfeeding can be very difficult to start with and some women are unsuccessful in producing enough milk right away which can put a lot of pressure on new moms. It is a good idea to have an electric breast pump before the baby is born, bring it to the hospital and begin using it right away, after baby has nursed for the first time, if possible. Starting with the pump immediately is the best way I know to get your breasts going and producing milk. The first milk that comes in is called colostrum and it is very important for the baby to get that either from her breast or from a bottle if pumped. Another thing, introduce the baby right away to the breast AND the nipple of a bottle because they need to be able to feed from both, just in case mom can't do EVERY feeding. (it happens)
The first week or so she will feel like the only thing she's doing is nursing and changing diapers. That's normal. The baby needs to eat every 2 hours will poop sometimes even during the feeding. It is OKAY to wait until the end of the feeding to change the diaper, I learned the that hard way, if you stop feeding and change the baby you will have to go through the ';let down'; process again with the breast and a hungry baby doesn't have much tolerance for that! Trust me, the poop that comes from breastfeeding is very mild and it will not hurt the baby to have it in her/his diaper until done eating! Like I said, I learned that the hard way with the 1st one 2nd way easier!
Although breastfeeding is the very best start for the baby, infant formulas have come a long way and are now very comparable, in my opinion the only thing they lack is mom's immunity, I recommend Infamil (no, I'm not getting paid to say that!), that's what I used with both boys after weening them because I had to start medication and could no longer breastfeed. (I have MS). Neither of my boys had any difficulty switching to that formula. ie:no acid reflux or anything but there was quite a bit of gas and MYLECON DROPS (even the store brand) is very good foe infant gas, it was a MUST for my boys!
I cannot stress enough though that she relax both when feeding and when pumping, it helps tremendously for the success. Even if she has to kick people out of the room, they should understand. Relaxing while pumping was actually harder for me than relaxing while breastfeeding, having your baby latched on to your breast and knowing they are getting EVERYTHING they need directly from you is a very comforting and rewarding.
The hospital she will give birth (or gave birth) in can probably supply a lot of information. The hospital I gave birth in had a department where I rented and electric breast pump from them, it was like $70 for 6 mos, they had other fees for monthly, yearly and so on but I recommend you
contact the labor and delivery department of that hospital and ask if they have any lactation services for new moms. They most certainly will be able to provide information.
I see other people have mentioned for her to apply for WIC, which is a very good idea, some states even have a website from which you may apply for services, just type in WIC (your state name) in the search window of any search engine and enter For example, type WIC, Virginia (enter). WIC is an excellent program if she is in need help paying for a breast pump, etc.
Your friend is making a very good decision to breastfeed her baby, kudos to her! As far as parenting tips go, it's very hard to explain how new moms are with their babies, it is amazing how well and fast you get to know your infant, this little angel that can't even talk! Telling her to go with her gut is good advice. If the baby is crying and she can't get him/her to stop my advice is to check these things first:
1) Is she/he hungry? if no then
2) Does his/her diaper need to be changed? if no then
3) Is he/her tensing up the belly and kicking his/her legs, it may be gas, try gently burping
4)Does he/she have a fever? if yes CALL THE PEDIATRICIAN! Newborns shouldn't have a fever over 100 rectally!
If all this is done and still fussy I recommend just holding/ snuggling/rocking to soothe her/him. If she is getting frustrated or upset because baby is crying too much MAKE SURE she puts baby down in her crib or gives him/her to someone to hold. It is important to soothe baby that the one holding her/him is calm. It can be very overwhelming if the baby is crying but I cannot stress enough how important it is to have the environment around him/her to be calm and soothing if the baby is upset and crying. Playing soothing music and rocking always worked for mine. I hope your freind finds this information helpful and feel free to email me if you have any other questions, if I can't answer I can certainly help direct you/her tCan any moms tell me about breast pumps, and a few parenting tips?
Rent an electric pump if you're going to be doing a lot of pumping. They're faster and more efficient, and if you decide at some point that you want to stop, you're not stuck with it. The rental fee might be covered by insurance or pulic assistance.
As for parenting tips, there are so many things that could be said, but above all, just love and enjoy your baby. Relax, and don't worry about doing everything right. No one does, especially with their first, but with your love and attention, your baby will thrive.
Get lots of help and support. Take advantage of every available resource in the community and accept offers of help from your parents, partner, and friends. This is a very special time. Let others do things for you so you can be with your baby as much as possible.
First of all, I'd apply for Medicaid and the WIC program. You can call DHEC and get a social worker to help with it. If she is accepted into the WIC program, she will be given vouchers for foods which will help keep her milk supply up and keep her healthy. Also, in some states, including mine (SC) they give pumps. Here, though, they don't give them out like candy. They have only so many hospital-grade ones, and those go out first to the moms of preemies and women who medically cannot breastfeed directly. In other words, moms who don't want to have a baby latch on but are perfectly able are not near the top of the list. They do give out purchase pumps too, but again, these are not given to every mom. I have been told that moms who supplement with formula can be disqualified.
Is she going to be a single mom? If so (and really, in any case) I'd recommend an Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper. They are pricey, but I just bought one at a consignment sale for $60 like new. You could check Craigslist as well. This is basically a small bassinet which attaches to the parent's bed. It would allow her to breastfeed baby in the night without having to get up and walk to another room. Many people don't like the idea of cosleeping because of the danger of layover (normally not an issue for breastfeeding moms anyway), but this is totally safe. The baby is on a separate surface, but still right there.
If she is going to need to be away from baby to go to school or work, she will need an electric pump. If you are planning a shower for her, it'd be a good thing for some friends to buy for her together. My favorite is Medela's Pump in Style Advanced. It's about $280 but is a double electric pump that's perfect for working moms who want to keep their supply up. With this pump you will only need to spend about 15 minutes per session to express your milk, as it does both breasts at once. The Pump in Style Advanced features two-phase expression. When you nurse your baby you may notice that he first sucks fast and shallow to stimulate your milk let-down. Then he will start sucking longer and deeper when the milk is flowing. This pump simulates that, and it increases mom's comfort as well as decreasing the time spent pumping. I would NOT recommend buying a used pump to save money, as it is hard to tell how long it was used and in what environment it was stored. You could spend $100 or more on a secondhand one and it could hurt her supply. I've seen that happen several times at work.
One more thing--have her see a lactation consultant at the hospital. At her young age, very few of her friends have probably breastfed. Therefore, it may be hard for her to find advice amongst her peers the way older mothers do. Most hospitals have an LC on staff to help with any issues, and it's a good contact to make and save for later in case any problems arise.
If you pump you gotta be doing it everyday often or your milk supply goes low. I quit pumping after like a month because it gets so tiring doing it every other feeding after awhile when you dont got an electric pump. As for parenting tips...dont hold you baby 24 7 because then all they're gonna want to do is be in your arms or else they cry.
I used the hand activated pump, it was ok but made my nipped huge! I flet like a cow at times!! Moooo!! Seriously though, they are an excellent way to still provide for your baby but people can help whilst you do something else or have a rest! I expressed so my partner could be involved a bit more, he loved it! Please note though that you cannot express until about 6-8 wekks because your body needs to work out how much milk the baby is using up and therefore how much it is needing to produce! Good Luck!
Parenting tips... well I could type forever but the best bit of advice I can give your friend is... ACT ON INSTINCT!! I didn't have a clue what to do when I first had my little girl... but you get the hang of it... honestly! Its daunting at first but she will get the hang of it! I remember when we gave our little one her first bath at home and she was like a slimey eel!! So bit of advice have the bath on the floor and hold her/him low! We managed it and then got to the drying bit and I didn't know whether we had to dry the umbilical or put talc on it or what?!! I phoned my Mum, she said talc (unfragranced) dabbed on after drying, to halp it dry and fall off! SO there we go, theres always something you don't know, and someone you can phone... and theres alway here if you need advice from all of us! :) Tell your friend good luck, she'll be a great Mum I am sure!! And take loads of pictures, you'll be surprised how much they change every day!!! x
tell her to apply for WIC, they will supply her with a pump to use and answer any of her questions. As far as parenting tips, go with your gut.pimple
I have 2 boys, 1 is 8 yrs. the other 19 months, I breast fed both of them for 6 months. The MOST important thing for your friend to know is to make sure she is not too hard on herself, breastfeeding can be very difficult to start with and some women are unsuccessful in producing enough milk right away which can put a lot of pressure on new moms. It is a good idea to have an electric breast pump before the baby is born, bring it to the hospital and begin using it right away, after baby has nursed for the first time, if possible. Starting with the pump immediately is the best way I know to get your breasts going and producing milk. The first milk that comes in is called colostrum and it is very important for the baby to get that either from her breast or from a bottle if pumped. Another thing, introduce the baby right away to the breast AND the nipple of a bottle because they need to be able to feed from both, just in case mom can't do EVERY feeding. (it happens)
The first week or so she will feel like the only thing she's doing is nursing and changing diapers. That's normal. The baby needs to eat every 2 hours will poop sometimes even during the feeding. It is OKAY to wait until the end of the feeding to change the diaper, I learned the that hard way, if you stop feeding and change the baby you will have to go through the ';let down'; process again with the breast and a hungry baby doesn't have much tolerance for that! Trust me, the poop that comes from breastfeeding is very mild and it will not hurt the baby to have it in her/his diaper until done eating! Like I said, I learned that the hard way with the 1st one 2nd way easier!
Although breastfeeding is the very best start for the baby, infant formulas have come a long way and are now very comparable, in my opinion the only thing they lack is mom's immunity, I recommend Infamil (no, I'm not getting paid to say that!), that's what I used with both boys after weening them because I had to start medication and could no longer breastfeed. (I have MS). Neither of my boys had any difficulty switching to that formula. ie:no acid reflux or anything but there was quite a bit of gas and MYLECON DROPS (even the store brand) is very good foe infant gas, it was a MUST for my boys!
I cannot stress enough though that she relax both when feeding and when pumping, it helps tremendously for the success. Even if she has to kick people out of the room, they should understand. Relaxing while pumping was actually harder for me than relaxing while breastfeeding, having your baby latched on to your breast and knowing they are getting EVERYTHING they need directly from you is a very comforting and rewarding.
The hospital she will give birth (or gave birth) in can probably supply a lot of information. The hospital I gave birth in had a department where I rented and electric breast pump from them, it was like $70 for 6 mos, they had other fees for monthly, yearly and so on but I recommend you
contact the labor and delivery department of that hospital and ask if they have any lactation services for new moms. They most certainly will be able to provide information.
I see other people have mentioned for her to apply for WIC, which is a very good idea, some states even have a website from which you may apply for services, just type in WIC (your state name) in the search window of any search engine and enter For example, type WIC, Virginia (enter). WIC is an excellent program if she is in need help paying for a breast pump, etc.
Your friend is making a very good decision to breastfeed her baby, kudos to her! As far as parenting tips go, it's very hard to explain how new moms are with their babies, it is amazing how well and fast you get to know your infant, this little angel that can't even talk! Telling her to go with her gut is good advice. If the baby is crying and she can't get him/her to stop my advice is to check these things first:
1) Is she/he hungry? if no then
2) Does his/her diaper need to be changed? if no then
3) Is he/her tensing up the belly and kicking his/her legs, it may be gas, try gently burping
4)Does he/she have a fever? if yes CALL THE PEDIATRICIAN! Newborns shouldn't have a fever over 100 rectally!
If all this is done and still fussy I recommend just holding/ snuggling/rocking to soothe her/him. If she is getting frustrated or upset because baby is crying too much MAKE SURE she puts baby down in her crib or gives him/her to someone to hold. It is important to soothe baby that the one holding her/him is calm. It can be very overwhelming if the baby is crying but I cannot stress enough how important it is to have the environment around him/her to be calm and soothing if the baby is upset and crying. Playing soothing music and rocking always worked for mine. I hope your freind finds this information helpful and feel free to email me if you have any other questions, if I can't answer I can certainly help direct you/her tCan any moms tell me about breast pumps, and a few parenting tips?
Rent an electric pump if you're going to be doing a lot of pumping. They're faster and more efficient, and if you decide at some point that you want to stop, you're not stuck with it. The rental fee might be covered by insurance or pulic assistance.
As for parenting tips, there are so many things that could be said, but above all, just love and enjoy your baby. Relax, and don't worry about doing everything right. No one does, especially with their first, but with your love and attention, your baby will thrive.
Get lots of help and support. Take advantage of every available resource in the community and accept offers of help from your parents, partner, and friends. This is a very special time. Let others do things for you so you can be with your baby as much as possible.
First of all, I'd apply for Medicaid and the WIC program. You can call DHEC and get a social worker to help with it. If she is accepted into the WIC program, she will be given vouchers for foods which will help keep her milk supply up and keep her healthy. Also, in some states, including mine (SC) they give pumps. Here, though, they don't give them out like candy. They have only so many hospital-grade ones, and those go out first to the moms of preemies and women who medically cannot breastfeed directly. In other words, moms who don't want to have a baby latch on but are perfectly able are not near the top of the list. They do give out purchase pumps too, but again, these are not given to every mom. I have been told that moms who supplement with formula can be disqualified.
Is she going to be a single mom? If so (and really, in any case) I'd recommend an Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper. They are pricey, but I just bought one at a consignment sale for $60 like new. You could check Craigslist as well. This is basically a small bassinet which attaches to the parent's bed. It would allow her to breastfeed baby in the night without having to get up and walk to another room. Many people don't like the idea of cosleeping because of the danger of layover (normally not an issue for breastfeeding moms anyway), but this is totally safe. The baby is on a separate surface, but still right there.
If she is going to need to be away from baby to go to school or work, she will need an electric pump. If you are planning a shower for her, it'd be a good thing for some friends to buy for her together. My favorite is Medela's Pump in Style Advanced. It's about $280 but is a double electric pump that's perfect for working moms who want to keep their supply up. With this pump you will only need to spend about 15 minutes per session to express your milk, as it does both breasts at once. The Pump in Style Advanced features two-phase expression. When you nurse your baby you may notice that he first sucks fast and shallow to stimulate your milk let-down. Then he will start sucking longer and deeper when the milk is flowing. This pump simulates that, and it increases mom's comfort as well as decreasing the time spent pumping. I would NOT recommend buying a used pump to save money, as it is hard to tell how long it was used and in what environment it was stored. You could spend $100 or more on a secondhand one and it could hurt her supply. I've seen that happen several times at work.
One more thing--have her see a lactation consultant at the hospital. At her young age, very few of her friends have probably breastfed. Therefore, it may be hard for her to find advice amongst her peers the way older mothers do. Most hospitals have an LC on staff to help with any issues, and it's a good contact to make and save for later in case any problems arise.
If you pump you gotta be doing it everyday often or your milk supply goes low. I quit pumping after like a month because it gets so tiring doing it every other feeding after awhile when you dont got an electric pump. As for parenting tips...dont hold you baby 24 7 because then all they're gonna want to do is be in your arms or else they cry.
I used the hand activated pump, it was ok but made my nipped huge! I flet like a cow at times!! Moooo!! Seriously though, they are an excellent way to still provide for your baby but people can help whilst you do something else or have a rest! I expressed so my partner could be involved a bit more, he loved it! Please note though that you cannot express until about 6-8 wekks because your body needs to work out how much milk the baby is using up and therefore how much it is needing to produce! Good Luck!
Parenting tips... well I could type forever but the best bit of advice I can give your friend is... ACT ON INSTINCT!! I didn't have a clue what to do when I first had my little girl... but you get the hang of it... honestly! Its daunting at first but she will get the hang of it! I remember when we gave our little one her first bath at home and she was like a slimey eel!! So bit of advice have the bath on the floor and hold her/him low! We managed it and then got to the drying bit and I didn't know whether we had to dry the umbilical or put talc on it or what?!! I phoned my Mum, she said talc (unfragranced) dabbed on after drying, to halp it dry and fall off! SO there we go, theres always something you don't know, and someone you can phone... and theres alway here if you need advice from all of us! :) Tell your friend good luck, she'll be a great Mum I am sure!! And take loads of pictures, you'll be surprised how much they change every day!!! x
tell her to apply for WIC, they will supply her with a pump to use and answer any of her questions. As far as parenting tips, go with your gut.
What is it about parenting that lots of people find so hard?
I really do not meant to cause offensive by asking this question, I am just curious.
SAHMs all say to me how hard it is, but I am a SAHM and I am not finding it hard at all. Does that mean I sm doing it wrong?
I have a clean house, I play with my daughter a lot and take her out different places so what am I missing? What is the hard bit?What is it about parenting that lots of people find so hard?
I really envy you. I'm a single mum, I got out to work 3 afternoons and 1 morning a week and I find it hard. I'm not complaining, I chose to do this. I don't know if it's actually hard as much as monotonous; there's not a lot of adult conversation in the house and the nights drive me mad (hence all the answers on here!)
Don't get me wrong; I have a beautiful little girl who is everything any parent could want, I love her to bits and I wouldn't be without her for the world. But sometimes I would like just a little bit more, you know? I think it's probably because before I had her, I had a good job, I had money, I went on some fabulous holidays to Jamaica, Egypt and Acapulco, I could go wherever I wanted whenever I wanted, I could have my own life. Maybe if I'd had her before all that I wouldn't feel this way as you can't miss what you never had.
I know this sounds incredibly selfish. I know there are women out there who can't have children and would kill to be in my shoes. But you asked the question so I am answering as honestly and openly as I know how.
Incidently, you haven't offended me, I wish I could feel the same way you do. Good Luck to you, you sound like a lovely girl.
Wow. After reading your replies, aren't there some spiteful mommies out there? Who made you have more than one child, ladies? There are other options out there you know. Women don't actually have to be baby machines in this day and age.What is it about parenting that lots of people find so hard?
It's great you're finding motherhood such a positive experience. But like most things in life, there are good sides and bad things to being a parent. Some Stay At Home Mums find it hard stepping off the career ladder for a while. Some families struggle with just one income coming in. Also, as your child grows and starts school and becomes more independant, it can be hard finding an identity as a SAHM. Some fathers find it hard to adjust too. I am glad you are having a positive experience. But don't feel bad if one day you get a bit down. That's normal.
SAHM?????
firstly what is a SAHM?
and secondly i have 2 kids. My daughter has just turned 3 and my son has just turned 1 (their birthdays are 2 weeks apart) and i find it extremely difficult.
If ones not moaning it's the other. If one has a toy/food/blanket/dummy/drink/crayon/pain鈥?you name it the other one wants it, even though the little that we do have we have 2 of (we foolishly did this in the hopes it would reduce the arguments) I have been diagnosed with post natal depression and let me tell you there are day's i want to kill my kids. I love them to pieces and would fight a tiger barehanded for them but they really know how to push my buttons.
If you have such a good time why are you even worried about what other people do? You obviously get on very well with your daughter and if things are so perfect hun, you should be falling on your knees every night in thanks (i ain't religious but i know i would)
But i have to say the way you have asked that question really comes across as rude and like you just want to blow your own trumpet really so don't be surprised if you get a few nasty responses hun.
I'm glad it's all going well for you. Keep it up x
Wow you also missed out being smug all day as well in your question that must take up a bit of time too.
My best friend had her first child at 17 and suffered really badly from post natal depression - she found it hard to accept she was a good mother as she never had any guidance from family etc she was on valium until her oldest child started school.
I know a lot of people struggle with being a parent it doesnt make them bad people and you shouldnt really be on here judging - why dont you give some advice to these people who dont have a lot of support and dont find parenthood coming naturally to them.
I have 2 little girls one 6 and a half and one 3 and a half, and no i dont find it hard, i love my kids to bits, and enjoy being with them. Sometimes they annoy me, but then again so does the dog!!!
Some people do find it hard though, my sister in law does, shes a great mum, just dosnt find it easy.
I think it depends on how you are as a person and how easily stressed you get.
I might change my tune when my new baby arrives!!!
This is just a guess, but I am guessing that your child is low-maintenance. Both my kids had reflux as babies and cried constantly and spit up all over the place - so yeah, that was very time-consuming! There are a FEW babies that are just very compliant from birth and don't require quite the time investment. These babies make parenting look sooooo easy. I don't find parenting 'hard,' exactly, but I don't have many hobbies [other than Yahoo Answers, haha], and always have a long to-do list.
I don't think your question was smug! I'm sorry if others took it that way. There are also kids that are waaay harder than even normal kids, and these parents are more stressed out.
Oh, and I did forget to add - most single children look very well-behaved. There is just something about adding another kid that multiplies the noise by 10x plus adds the element of competition, plus then the child is not just dealing with a mature adult all day, but an immature sibling.
the children are what makes parenting hard
the best of our life is our children
Im like you,Have a clean house and stuff. My son is 10 now so plays outside a lot or with friends. But when he was younger i still found it easy to do all of the above.
However everyone(parent) and child(ren) are different. Also the more you have i suppose the harder it gets.
I really hate it when mums say i cant wait til the kids are back to school on monday etc.....I love my son to bits and love tidying up after him. Wouldn't change it 4 the world.
You have a very positive attitude about parenting and that probably helps make it go smoothly for you. I envy SAHMs, as I wish I could stay home with my baby for at least a year.
I would imagine that those who find it hard either do not have the emotional maturity, financial stability, or family support to actually enjoy the child.
Stay At Home Mom. The hard part, 2-3-4+ kids and cleaning. The house gets bigger, the bigger the house, the bigger the mess. Once you clean one room and go to the next, the room you just cleaned the kid tornado went through. I work and come home to 3 kids (one on the way) the house doesn't stay clean for 2 minutes. If you want it easy don't have anymore, if you are planning on having more, you will see why some moms complain.
Has your daughter really never had a tantrum ? She`s never cried all night long as a baby or if she`s been ill ? You`ve really never had one sleepless night and felt so tired next morning you just couldn`t face getting up when your daughter wakes up/ cleaning the house/taking care of your daughter/doing the shopping / doing the washing and ironing /making everyone`s dinner / taking the other kids to school and fetching them back home again - oh you just have the one don`t you.... ?
By the way this IS the easy bit - come back in 10/12 years time when she wants to go off by herself, and you`re sick with worry every time she puts her foot out the door, and boys start hanging round and they`re way too old for her, her room`s a mess and she really does not care, and that sweet little mouth that`s smiling at you right now is telling you to ';shut up wot do you know !';
Come back then and we`ll talk.
Ah - pregnant - well that explains it ! On a bit of a high are we at the thought of a new cuddly little baby ? Oh dear, there goes that nice clean house, not so much playtime for your little barbie doll, and no time for going out - not to mention less money to go with - ALL CHANGE !!
Before my children started school, I use to sound just like you. Now they are in first and second grade and I am feeling a little more stress. I also was a SAHM for seven years and just went back to work at the beginning of this school year. I am finding out now how hard this is, balancing everything. The hardest part about being a parent in my opinion is trying to split yourself in so many pieces. I try to be there for both of my children (taking them to all of their after school activities), be there for my husband, and still find time to still be me... Finding this balance is the hardest part for me. I don't think you sound smug. I just hope that parenting always come easy for you. But it will get harder once your other baby gets here and you are feeling guilty everytime you are spending time with one rather than the other. And then your daughter will start to act up because she is feeling jealous of the new baby. This may not happen at first but I am afraid that it really will. For you, I hope that you are that one mom that is able to find the perfect balance between it all. If you do, I'm happy for you. If you don't, just know you're not alone and I'm sure you are a good mommy no matter what! :)
Well first of all, have a couple more children, and then wait till they get older, it only gets harder. One child is very easy you put them in your purse and keep on trucking. Having one child can never make you understand parenting is a full time job harder to the ones who actually have to work for a living. Playing and cleaning are not exactly the full extend of parenting. You have a long road ahead of you.
Well do you have parents ??
Do you have any other support
You only have one child, I have 3 and I haven't had a night out in over a year,
Does your childs father help out ??
Mine doesn't
Try it with no support and then tell me how easy it is
That's because you don't have more than one child. I have 2 ages 2 and 3 and they are complete terrors some days. Last ight for example. I put them in bed to go to sleep. Sounds easy huh? After an hour I went to check on them to make sure they were still sleeping. I couldn't get that lucky though. My 2 year old decided to get up and get ink pen all over her. So then I had to give both she and her sister baths. She had decided to write on her sister as well. I get them bathed, dried off, and dressed for bed once again. Put them back to bed, turn off the light, and my oldest says ';turn the light on ***********. Yea, I had a rough night. When I have a rough night, it leads to a rough morning...lol. Good luck with your daughter.
I'm not offended....just needed to vent I guess.lol
What is a SAHM.
parenting can be difficult if you have to fit in other things around it. Not every one can spend as much time with their kids as they would like to
Parenting is difficult, and like the others said-it only gets harder as they get older. It isn't only about keeping the house clean and playing with your child. As they grow, it is about making the best decisions for your child, guiding them to do the right thing all the time, setting a positive example for them, being involved in every aspect of their lives, eventually letting them make mistakes no matter how hard it is on them so they can learn from it. The list can go on for days...parenting is not easy. I'm glad you have such a positive attitude about it though. Hopefully you can keep that attitude when (and if) you have 2 or 3 more and they are all demanding your atttention at the same time.
I don't think it's hard necessarily. I love being home but I find myself feeling a little depressed...maybe because I DO have a job and I like it a lot. I'm kind of a workaholic...maybe that's what people mean.
Also, caring for a child CAN be exhausting!
SAHMs all say to me how hard it is, but I am a SAHM and I am not finding it hard at all. Does that mean I sm doing it wrong?
I have a clean house, I play with my daughter a lot and take her out different places so what am I missing? What is the hard bit?What is it about parenting that lots of people find so hard?
I really envy you. I'm a single mum, I got out to work 3 afternoons and 1 morning a week and I find it hard. I'm not complaining, I chose to do this. I don't know if it's actually hard as much as monotonous; there's not a lot of adult conversation in the house and the nights drive me mad (hence all the answers on here!)
Don't get me wrong; I have a beautiful little girl who is everything any parent could want, I love her to bits and I wouldn't be without her for the world. But sometimes I would like just a little bit more, you know? I think it's probably because before I had her, I had a good job, I had money, I went on some fabulous holidays to Jamaica, Egypt and Acapulco, I could go wherever I wanted whenever I wanted, I could have my own life. Maybe if I'd had her before all that I wouldn't feel this way as you can't miss what you never had.
I know this sounds incredibly selfish. I know there are women out there who can't have children and would kill to be in my shoes. But you asked the question so I am answering as honestly and openly as I know how.
Incidently, you haven't offended me, I wish I could feel the same way you do. Good Luck to you, you sound like a lovely girl.
Wow. After reading your replies, aren't there some spiteful mommies out there? Who made you have more than one child, ladies? There are other options out there you know. Women don't actually have to be baby machines in this day and age.What is it about parenting that lots of people find so hard?
It's great you're finding motherhood such a positive experience. But like most things in life, there are good sides and bad things to being a parent. Some Stay At Home Mums find it hard stepping off the career ladder for a while. Some families struggle with just one income coming in. Also, as your child grows and starts school and becomes more independant, it can be hard finding an identity as a SAHM. Some fathers find it hard to adjust too. I am glad you are having a positive experience. But don't feel bad if one day you get a bit down. That's normal.
SAHM?????
firstly what is a SAHM?
and secondly i have 2 kids. My daughter has just turned 3 and my son has just turned 1 (their birthdays are 2 weeks apart) and i find it extremely difficult.
If ones not moaning it's the other. If one has a toy/food/blanket/dummy/drink/crayon/pain鈥?you name it the other one wants it, even though the little that we do have we have 2 of (we foolishly did this in the hopes it would reduce the arguments) I have been diagnosed with post natal depression and let me tell you there are day's i want to kill my kids. I love them to pieces and would fight a tiger barehanded for them but they really know how to push my buttons.
If you have such a good time why are you even worried about what other people do? You obviously get on very well with your daughter and if things are so perfect hun, you should be falling on your knees every night in thanks (i ain't religious but i know i would)
But i have to say the way you have asked that question really comes across as rude and like you just want to blow your own trumpet really so don't be surprised if you get a few nasty responses hun.
I'm glad it's all going well for you. Keep it up x
Wow you also missed out being smug all day as well in your question that must take up a bit of time too.
My best friend had her first child at 17 and suffered really badly from post natal depression - she found it hard to accept she was a good mother as she never had any guidance from family etc she was on valium until her oldest child started school.
I know a lot of people struggle with being a parent it doesnt make them bad people and you shouldnt really be on here judging - why dont you give some advice to these people who dont have a lot of support and dont find parenthood coming naturally to them.
I have 2 little girls one 6 and a half and one 3 and a half, and no i dont find it hard, i love my kids to bits, and enjoy being with them. Sometimes they annoy me, but then again so does the dog!!!
Some people do find it hard though, my sister in law does, shes a great mum, just dosnt find it easy.
I think it depends on how you are as a person and how easily stressed you get.
I might change my tune when my new baby arrives!!!
This is just a guess, but I am guessing that your child is low-maintenance. Both my kids had reflux as babies and cried constantly and spit up all over the place - so yeah, that was very time-consuming! There are a FEW babies that are just very compliant from birth and don't require quite the time investment. These babies make parenting look sooooo easy. I don't find parenting 'hard,' exactly, but I don't have many hobbies [other than Yahoo Answers, haha], and always have a long to-do list.
I don't think your question was smug! I'm sorry if others took it that way. There are also kids that are waaay harder than even normal kids, and these parents are more stressed out.
Oh, and I did forget to add - most single children look very well-behaved. There is just something about adding another kid that multiplies the noise by 10x plus adds the element of competition, plus then the child is not just dealing with a mature adult all day, but an immature sibling.
the children are what makes parenting hard
the best of our life is our children
Im like you,Have a clean house and stuff. My son is 10 now so plays outside a lot or with friends. But when he was younger i still found it easy to do all of the above.
However everyone(parent) and child(ren) are different. Also the more you have i suppose the harder it gets.
I really hate it when mums say i cant wait til the kids are back to school on monday etc.....I love my son to bits and love tidying up after him. Wouldn't change it 4 the world.
You have a very positive attitude about parenting and that probably helps make it go smoothly for you. I envy SAHMs, as I wish I could stay home with my baby for at least a year.
I would imagine that those who find it hard either do not have the emotional maturity, financial stability, or family support to actually enjoy the child.
Stay At Home Mom. The hard part, 2-3-4+ kids and cleaning. The house gets bigger, the bigger the house, the bigger the mess. Once you clean one room and go to the next, the room you just cleaned the kid tornado went through. I work and come home to 3 kids (one on the way) the house doesn't stay clean for 2 minutes. If you want it easy don't have anymore, if you are planning on having more, you will see why some moms complain.
Has your daughter really never had a tantrum ? She`s never cried all night long as a baby or if she`s been ill ? You`ve really never had one sleepless night and felt so tired next morning you just couldn`t face getting up when your daughter wakes up/ cleaning the house/taking care of your daughter/doing the shopping / doing the washing and ironing /making everyone`s dinner / taking the other kids to school and fetching them back home again - oh you just have the one don`t you.... ?
By the way this IS the easy bit - come back in 10/12 years time when she wants to go off by herself, and you`re sick with worry every time she puts her foot out the door, and boys start hanging round and they`re way too old for her, her room`s a mess and she really does not care, and that sweet little mouth that`s smiling at you right now is telling you to ';shut up wot do you know !';
Come back then and we`ll talk.
Ah - pregnant - well that explains it ! On a bit of a high are we at the thought of a new cuddly little baby ? Oh dear, there goes that nice clean house, not so much playtime for your little barbie doll, and no time for going out - not to mention less money to go with - ALL CHANGE !!
Before my children started school, I use to sound just like you. Now they are in first and second grade and I am feeling a little more stress. I also was a SAHM for seven years and just went back to work at the beginning of this school year. I am finding out now how hard this is, balancing everything. The hardest part about being a parent in my opinion is trying to split yourself in so many pieces. I try to be there for both of my children (taking them to all of their after school activities), be there for my husband, and still find time to still be me... Finding this balance is the hardest part for me. I don't think you sound smug. I just hope that parenting always come easy for you. But it will get harder once your other baby gets here and you are feeling guilty everytime you are spending time with one rather than the other. And then your daughter will start to act up because she is feeling jealous of the new baby. This may not happen at first but I am afraid that it really will. For you, I hope that you are that one mom that is able to find the perfect balance between it all. If you do, I'm happy for you. If you don't, just know you're not alone and I'm sure you are a good mommy no matter what! :)
Well first of all, have a couple more children, and then wait till they get older, it only gets harder. One child is very easy you put them in your purse and keep on trucking. Having one child can never make you understand parenting is a full time job harder to the ones who actually have to work for a living. Playing and cleaning are not exactly the full extend of parenting. You have a long road ahead of you.
Well do you have parents ??
Do you have any other support
You only have one child, I have 3 and I haven't had a night out in over a year,
Does your childs father help out ??
Mine doesn't
Try it with no support and then tell me how easy it is
That's because you don't have more than one child. I have 2 ages 2 and 3 and they are complete terrors some days. Last ight for example. I put them in bed to go to sleep. Sounds easy huh? After an hour I went to check on them to make sure they were still sleeping. I couldn't get that lucky though. My 2 year old decided to get up and get ink pen all over her. So then I had to give both she and her sister baths. She had decided to write on her sister as well. I get them bathed, dried off, and dressed for bed once again. Put them back to bed, turn off the light, and my oldest says ';turn the light on ***********. Yea, I had a rough night. When I have a rough night, it leads to a rough morning...lol. Good luck with your daughter.
I'm not offended....just needed to vent I guess.lol
What is a SAHM.
parenting can be difficult if you have to fit in other things around it. Not every one can spend as much time with their kids as they would like to
Parenting is difficult, and like the others said-it only gets harder as they get older. It isn't only about keeping the house clean and playing with your child. As they grow, it is about making the best decisions for your child, guiding them to do the right thing all the time, setting a positive example for them, being involved in every aspect of their lives, eventually letting them make mistakes no matter how hard it is on them so they can learn from it. The list can go on for days...parenting is not easy. I'm glad you have such a positive attitude about it though. Hopefully you can keep that attitude when (and if) you have 2 or 3 more and they are all demanding your atttention at the same time.
I don't think it's hard necessarily. I love being home but I find myself feeling a little depressed...maybe because I DO have a job and I like it a lot. I'm kind of a workaholic...maybe that's what people mean.
Also, caring for a child CAN be exhausting!
What is your favorite parenting philosophy?
What makes that particular philosophy stand out to apart from all others?What is your favorite parenting philosophy?
I will only treat my children the way I would want to be treated if I were in their shoes.
Sometimes, they dislike the things I say or do- but I know that I'm treating them in a way that when they look back as an adult, they'll understand. My job is to protect them and love them and guide them. But their happiness relies on a big part of mine and my husbands actions and attitudes.What is your favorite parenting philosophy?
I don't know if you can really pin point any particular 'parenting philosophy' and call it your own. I would think that most people pick and choose from all sorts, and there are so many different factors and situations that you would have to consider. I guess if I had to group my philosophy into one huge lump, I would say I prefer more natural/ attachment parenting. It stands out to me because I, myself, lean more towards a natural, holistic lifestyle. I also prefer to keep my children close, for example, a snugli or baby bjorn over a stroller, etc.
Take it day to day because what may have been the answer yesterday no longer applies today.
I am not sure what makes it stand out from others but the reasoning behind it is, each day my children grow a little more as do I, making each of us a different person from who we were, there fore making rules that may have applied at one time moot. There is no way for one to determine when is the right time to change the rules of the house, or per specific person, in advance because you do not know if they will be ready at that decided time until the time has come.
For a serious answer, there is a time tested philosphy coming from one of the most ancient cultures. The quote is in Sanskrit, and the meaning is thus:
Till the age of five treat the child like a King, serving the child thus.
Next ten years treat the child like a 'slave' ( ';slave'; is not in the present day sense of the word, it simply means, to ensure that the child gets into right groove, by very close association to give suggestive prescriptions for all activities, to make it less vulnerable to the temptations of that age0
Once a child reaches 15 years of age, treat the child like a good friend.
This has worked for many centuries, until the recent times where all the ';parameters'; of the society got thoroughly re-written, with fast evolving life styes!
My philosphy is to always remember how old they are. Sometimes I talk to my daughter and set expectations for her and then remember she's only six.
Don't sweat the small stuff
Pick your fights
I like both of these and they have gotten me thru many many situations.
smile and nod and ignore the idiots.
that works for just about everything there is.
Life's not fair.
The sooner they learn it the better. Too many adults still don't get it.
I will only treat my children the way I would want to be treated if I were in their shoes.
Sometimes, they dislike the things I say or do- but I know that I'm treating them in a way that when they look back as an adult, they'll understand. My job is to protect them and love them and guide them. But their happiness relies on a big part of mine and my husbands actions and attitudes.What is your favorite parenting philosophy?
I don't know if you can really pin point any particular 'parenting philosophy' and call it your own. I would think that most people pick and choose from all sorts, and there are so many different factors and situations that you would have to consider. I guess if I had to group my philosophy into one huge lump, I would say I prefer more natural/ attachment parenting. It stands out to me because I, myself, lean more towards a natural, holistic lifestyle. I also prefer to keep my children close, for example, a snugli or baby bjorn over a stroller, etc.
Take it day to day because what may have been the answer yesterday no longer applies today.
I am not sure what makes it stand out from others but the reasoning behind it is, each day my children grow a little more as do I, making each of us a different person from who we were, there fore making rules that may have applied at one time moot. There is no way for one to determine when is the right time to change the rules of the house, or per specific person, in advance because you do not know if they will be ready at that decided time until the time has come.
For a serious answer, there is a time tested philosphy coming from one of the most ancient cultures. The quote is in Sanskrit, and the meaning is thus:
Till the age of five treat the child like a King, serving the child thus.
Next ten years treat the child like a 'slave' ( ';slave'; is not in the present day sense of the word, it simply means, to ensure that the child gets into right groove, by very close association to give suggestive prescriptions for all activities, to make it less vulnerable to the temptations of that age0
Once a child reaches 15 years of age, treat the child like a good friend.
This has worked for many centuries, until the recent times where all the ';parameters'; of the society got thoroughly re-written, with fast evolving life styes!
My philosphy is to always remember how old they are. Sometimes I talk to my daughter and set expectations for her and then remember she's only six.
Don't sweat the small stuff
Pick your fights
I like both of these and they have gotten me thru many many situations.
smile and nod and ignore the idiots.
that works for just about everything there is.
Life's not fair.
The sooner they learn it the better. Too many adults still don't get it.
Shoud I care about the opinions of others when it comes to parenting?
I am new to the mother world and as a young mother I have a lot of people trying to put their two cents in. I recently got my 6 month old daughters ears pierced and I have had some of the rudest comments about what doing it. I work and have a good job. It wasn't like i was sticking my neck out to do it. I also take good care of her ears such as cleaning them and doing what the lady told me. I also take care of my daughter on my own. Was I wrong to have gotten her ears pierced? Should I worry about the negative remarks from others?Shoud I care about the opinions of others when it comes to parenting?
Unless you ask for someone's opinion, their comments should be put in the same place you put junk mail--in the round file. It is unfortunate that people in today's world seem to think they can make all sorts of remarks and comments about what other people wear, what they weigh, how their raising their children, etc.--but bottom line, it is rude--period--to make any sort of comment about or to advise someone without being asked.
If someone is rude enough to remark negatively about your daughter's ears being pierced, all you need say is simply this--';thank you for your concern';--and either change the subject or walk away. Don't try to explain or argue--just refuse to discuss it. It is none of their business unless YOU choose to make it so.
You don't owe anyone an explanation for your decisions concerning your child's treatment, unless you are being accused by someone in an official capacity of doing something wrong. Anyone else is out of order.Shoud I care about the opinions of others when it comes to parenting?
Heck no. You do what you do never mind what other people tell you. They wanna put they cents in tell them to start paying child support, since they wanna play like they the parent. Your baby you do whatever. Sometimes advice is good but go by your own judgement.
You do what think is best for your family...don't worry what other people think...what is right for one family, isn't necessarily right for every family.
Some just need to mind their own business!
I'm also a new mom and where I live your kid has to be at least 2 months old to have their ears pierced... well guess what, I had her ears pierced at about 2 1/2 months! They say the younger they are the better.
You as a mother will know what is best for your child, go with your gut instinct and you will do just fine.
Welcome to motherhood! Pick and choose what advice you want to take in %26amp; what to leave out.
no, I always take the advice I like and ignore the rest. Some people can't help but being rude and just because it is their opinion doesn't mean they are right. Go with what you feel is right, she is your daughter and you know her better than them.
I don't think that there is anything wrong with trading tips and taking advice from other parents and friends. The problem comes when they are butting into private matters, acting holier-than-thou about something or simply getting involved without your consent. I personally find nothing wrong with getting the ear piercings. As for the original questions-- if you find that you are uncomfortable with the advice, simply tell them that you appreciate it but you disagree. But don't always ignore people, as they may have something valuable to contribute or you may gain new insight as well.
'You need to build up a tough skin now. Even if you were with the father, stayed home all day, there would be something someone would tell you to do differently. My kids are 6 and 8 and I really wish I had learned to let it roll of sooner. Since I am now able to let it go, or simply state, that is really none of your concern, or I don't remember asking for advice on that, I feel sooo much better.
Go with your instinct, mine has not let me down yet when it comes to my kids. And know in your heart you are a great mom, because if its not piercing the ears, it will be another reason, people are so judgmental and need to worry about themselves instead of everyone else and everyone else's kids.
Sometimes it's nice to have others opinions and thoughts about things. however, when they are comments like this, just talk them all with a grain of salt. Just care about the poets that you ask for.....
Good Luck
Momma P
Being a parent seems to be open season on everyone giving their opinions. You have to wade through it, just like everything else. It is a learning experience. You can just nicely listen to what they have to say, then thank them and forget it, unless it is something you find useful. You know what's best for you and your child. Many parent's pierce a young child's ears, and it is certainly not abuse. I wouldn't worry about it, just take care of you and her!
I heard it was better to get them done early. I think sometimes you need to listen to other parents because you never know if they have ways of doing things that work better for you. It doesn't hurt to take in consideration advice if it will make you a better person. Sometimes though you just need to do what you think is best and i think this is one of those times.
Everyone has an opinion but most don't know that you don't have to share any chance you get. It is good to keep your mind open to different ways to parent but this earring issue is a personal preference. I wouldn't worry about those that disagree with your decision.
no i don't think you were wrong. if she doesn't like it when she gets older, then she can just let the holes close up! i am terrified of needles, and so scared to actually get my ears pierced. (but i really want to wear earings!!) i really wish my mom would have taken me to get mine pierced when i was a baby. babies wont hold anything against you for doing that. don't worry about what people tell you, you can make your own decisions. good luck raising your daughter! : )
I too had my daughters ears pierced when she was 5 months old. Nothing wrong with it.
When you have a young child everyone has an opinion and wants to share it. They don't always mean to be rude. It does get better as the children get older. Just smile and go on with your day. What they say and think does not matter. You don't know them and will never see them again (hopefully).
Want real advice ask your family and friends. They are the ones who matter.
I was a young mother once. NO you should not pay heed to other people opinion when it comes to raising your daughter. You need to impart your values and beliefs to her not some watered down version of it. If you want a strong daughter then what better way to teach her than standing up for what you believe?
People always feel the need to tell you what is best- how they did it. Pregnancy should of toughened you up-all the unwanted advice you receive! All you can do is your best- with the best of intentions. Only follow advice from those closest to you. (and mine) good luck
Unless you ask for someone's opinion, their comments should be put in the same place you put junk mail--in the round file. It is unfortunate that people in today's world seem to think they can make all sorts of remarks and comments about what other people wear, what they weigh, how their raising their children, etc.--but bottom line, it is rude--period--to make any sort of comment about or to advise someone without being asked.
If someone is rude enough to remark negatively about your daughter's ears being pierced, all you need say is simply this--';thank you for your concern';--and either change the subject or walk away. Don't try to explain or argue--just refuse to discuss it. It is none of their business unless YOU choose to make it so.
You don't owe anyone an explanation for your decisions concerning your child's treatment, unless you are being accused by someone in an official capacity of doing something wrong. Anyone else is out of order.Shoud I care about the opinions of others when it comes to parenting?
Heck no. You do what you do never mind what other people tell you. They wanna put they cents in tell them to start paying child support, since they wanna play like they the parent. Your baby you do whatever. Sometimes advice is good but go by your own judgement.
You do what think is best for your family...don't worry what other people think...what is right for one family, isn't necessarily right for every family.
Some just need to mind their own business!
I'm also a new mom and where I live your kid has to be at least 2 months old to have their ears pierced... well guess what, I had her ears pierced at about 2 1/2 months! They say the younger they are the better.
You as a mother will know what is best for your child, go with your gut instinct and you will do just fine.
Welcome to motherhood! Pick and choose what advice you want to take in %26amp; what to leave out.
no, I always take the advice I like and ignore the rest. Some people can't help but being rude and just because it is their opinion doesn't mean they are right. Go with what you feel is right, she is your daughter and you know her better than them.
I don't think that there is anything wrong with trading tips and taking advice from other parents and friends. The problem comes when they are butting into private matters, acting holier-than-thou about something or simply getting involved without your consent. I personally find nothing wrong with getting the ear piercings. As for the original questions-- if you find that you are uncomfortable with the advice, simply tell them that you appreciate it but you disagree. But don't always ignore people, as they may have something valuable to contribute or you may gain new insight as well.
'You need to build up a tough skin now. Even if you were with the father, stayed home all day, there would be something someone would tell you to do differently. My kids are 6 and 8 and I really wish I had learned to let it roll of sooner. Since I am now able to let it go, or simply state, that is really none of your concern, or I don't remember asking for advice on that, I feel sooo much better.
Go with your instinct, mine has not let me down yet when it comes to my kids. And know in your heart you are a great mom, because if its not piercing the ears, it will be another reason, people are so judgmental and need to worry about themselves instead of everyone else and everyone else's kids.
Sometimes it's nice to have others opinions and thoughts about things. however, when they are comments like this, just talk them all with a grain of salt. Just care about the poets that you ask for.....
Good Luck
Momma P
Being a parent seems to be open season on everyone giving their opinions. You have to wade through it, just like everything else. It is a learning experience. You can just nicely listen to what they have to say, then thank them and forget it, unless it is something you find useful. You know what's best for you and your child. Many parent's pierce a young child's ears, and it is certainly not abuse. I wouldn't worry about it, just take care of you and her!
I heard it was better to get them done early. I think sometimes you need to listen to other parents because you never know if they have ways of doing things that work better for you. It doesn't hurt to take in consideration advice if it will make you a better person. Sometimes though you just need to do what you think is best and i think this is one of those times.
Everyone has an opinion but most don't know that you don't have to share any chance you get. It is good to keep your mind open to different ways to parent but this earring issue is a personal preference. I wouldn't worry about those that disagree with your decision.
no i don't think you were wrong. if she doesn't like it when she gets older, then she can just let the holes close up! i am terrified of needles, and so scared to actually get my ears pierced. (but i really want to wear earings!!) i really wish my mom would have taken me to get mine pierced when i was a baby. babies wont hold anything against you for doing that. don't worry about what people tell you, you can make your own decisions. good luck raising your daughter! : )
I too had my daughters ears pierced when she was 5 months old. Nothing wrong with it.
When you have a young child everyone has an opinion and wants to share it. They don't always mean to be rude. It does get better as the children get older. Just smile and go on with your day. What they say and think does not matter. You don't know them and will never see them again (hopefully).
Want real advice ask your family and friends. They are the ones who matter.
I was a young mother once. NO you should not pay heed to other people opinion when it comes to raising your daughter. You need to impart your values and beliefs to her not some watered down version of it. If you want a strong daughter then what better way to teach her than standing up for what you believe?
People always feel the need to tell you what is best- how they did it. Pregnancy should of toughened you up-all the unwanted advice you receive! All you can do is your best- with the best of intentions. Only follow advice from those closest to you. (and mine) good luck
How do you stay current on the latest scientific research on parenting and child development?
I considered subscribing to _Child Development_, a scholarly journal that publishes a lot of the leading research articles on parenting and child outcomes, but it's subscription fee is horrendous. (Set for university libraries, not parents, I guess.)
Most magazines seem to give very short shrift to research. They interview so-called experts for ideas from time to time, but you can tell that these folks are rarely research scientists.
So have any of you found any good methods of doing this?How do you stay current on the latest scientific research on parenting and child development?
It depends upon how research oriented you want to be. I like simplicity for most parents and journals aren't simple. For parents who have a background in research you could go with the journals but instead you might read some parenting books that have become well established and look for their research references. Then you have the practical application with some validation.
It is true that we have a lot of parenting frustration going on right now but it seems to be more related to the difficulty of transitioning from physical to mental management. We know that punishment does not work but it can be very difficult to take the time and be smart enough to discipline and rear children with love and good modeling. (bicksmom: Spanking children has short term results when we are looking for a lifetime answer.) Don't get too complicated or the confusion might make you feel incompetent. Try Love and Logic and the 1,2,3 Magic series.How do you stay current on the latest scientific research on parenting and child development?
i don't bother with the experts. nothing works as well as experience. so many experts, so many opinions.it can get to be to much. they do a study on something and immediatley people are running around fretting about it. half of the so called experts don't have children anyway. somehow,we all survived without them.trust your instincts. you know whats good for your kids and what they need to stay away from. do any of us really need someone else to tell us that smoking or drinking is bad? that bullying can cause trauma?i don't think so.
i don't. Life experience can teach you more about child rearing than any scientific study. Has anybody else noticed that society's only gone down hill since spanking became and no-no and talking and time outs became the ';scientifically'; proven form of discipline. Out with books I say!
Most magazines seem to give very short shrift to research. They interview so-called experts for ideas from time to time, but you can tell that these folks are rarely research scientists.
So have any of you found any good methods of doing this?How do you stay current on the latest scientific research on parenting and child development?
It depends upon how research oriented you want to be. I like simplicity for most parents and journals aren't simple. For parents who have a background in research you could go with the journals but instead you might read some parenting books that have become well established and look for their research references. Then you have the practical application with some validation.
It is true that we have a lot of parenting frustration going on right now but it seems to be more related to the difficulty of transitioning from physical to mental management. We know that punishment does not work but it can be very difficult to take the time and be smart enough to discipline and rear children with love and good modeling. (bicksmom: Spanking children has short term results when we are looking for a lifetime answer.) Don't get too complicated or the confusion might make you feel incompetent. Try Love and Logic and the 1,2,3 Magic series.How do you stay current on the latest scientific research on parenting and child development?
i don't bother with the experts. nothing works as well as experience. so many experts, so many opinions.it can get to be to much. they do a study on something and immediatley people are running around fretting about it. half of the so called experts don't have children anyway. somehow,we all survived without them.trust your instincts. you know whats good for your kids and what they need to stay away from. do any of us really need someone else to tell us that smoking or drinking is bad? that bullying can cause trauma?i don't think so.
i don't. Life experience can teach you more about child rearing than any scientific study. Has anybody else noticed that society's only gone down hill since spanking became and no-no and talking and time outs became the ';scientifically'; proven form of discipline. Out with books I say!
Why would a child be disciplined for a parents lack of parenting?
Why? Because someone has to teach them right from wrong. Even if the parents don't do it, there comes a certain age and time when a child knows that certain things are wrong.
Besides, would you allow someone to murder your child and not press charges simply because they weren't taught not to by their parents? That doesn't make sense.
That doesn't excuse the child or the parents. The child still needs to learn right from wrong, that sometimes means learning through tough love or hard consequences. Their actions still have to be accounted for and proper consequences given.Why would a child be disciplined for a parents lack of parenting?
In my opinion. First, the parent(s) should be setting a good example when it comes to moral matters like gossiping and such so that is a touchy situation on how a parent should handle it. BUT when it comes to punishment for actions like in the example you gave with a child running into the road that is entirely different! A child MUST be punished for their actions so they can learn and not repeat the same actions! If there is NO consequence then how can the child learn and grow from their mistakes!Why would a child be disciplined for a parents lack of parenting?
I agree that it seems hypocritical of the parent. However, it is the job of every parent to try and raise their children to be self sufficient adults. So when the child does wrong, the parent has to inflict consequences. It would be better, however, if the parents taught by example. It speaks louder than words.
I had my child start to run out into the road and I wasn't smoking or gossiping. In fact we were walking out to get the mail together when he took off like a shot. I was hugely pregnant, but thankfully caught up to him right as he was about to step onto the road. You better believe he got in trouble for it. I don't know about the rest as my child is not that old yet.
i wouldn't beat my kid if they didn't pass a subject i'd just get more involved and help more w.hw and i would punish my kid for running in the street b.c she knows she's not supposed to be i the road i wouldn't discipline her for gossiping b.c everyone does it but i don't really have to worry about that stuff yet b.c my kids are all little
Huh?
Is that a riddle or something!?
Care to elaborate? :D
Mine please? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhqlZTS54P149msAuWIqgO7sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090517041806AABcN0E
:)
Sorry about all the questions xD
As far as school. The parents want the kids to do better then they have. The second two are easy. Do as I say not as I do. Very common unfortunately.
One word: hypocrite.
That is why.
Give an example of a situation. Kind of hard to answer when not sure on what I'm talking about.
because the parent is putting the blame on someone other then themselves.
because children should do as they are told.
Can you expound?
expand a lil
Besides, would you allow someone to murder your child and not press charges simply because they weren't taught not to by their parents? That doesn't make sense.
That doesn't excuse the child or the parents. The child still needs to learn right from wrong, that sometimes means learning through tough love or hard consequences. Their actions still have to be accounted for and proper consequences given.Why would a child be disciplined for a parents lack of parenting?
In my opinion. First, the parent(s) should be setting a good example when it comes to moral matters like gossiping and such so that is a touchy situation on how a parent should handle it. BUT when it comes to punishment for actions like in the example you gave with a child running into the road that is entirely different! A child MUST be punished for their actions so they can learn and not repeat the same actions! If there is NO consequence then how can the child learn and grow from their mistakes!Why would a child be disciplined for a parents lack of parenting?
I agree that it seems hypocritical of the parent. However, it is the job of every parent to try and raise their children to be self sufficient adults. So when the child does wrong, the parent has to inflict consequences. It would be better, however, if the parents taught by example. It speaks louder than words.
I had my child start to run out into the road and I wasn't smoking or gossiping. In fact we were walking out to get the mail together when he took off like a shot. I was hugely pregnant, but thankfully caught up to him right as he was about to step onto the road. You better believe he got in trouble for it. I don't know about the rest as my child is not that old yet.
i wouldn't beat my kid if they didn't pass a subject i'd just get more involved and help more w.hw and i would punish my kid for running in the street b.c she knows she's not supposed to be i the road i wouldn't discipline her for gossiping b.c everyone does it but i don't really have to worry about that stuff yet b.c my kids are all little
Huh?
Is that a riddle or something!?
Care to elaborate? :D
Mine please? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhqlZTS54P149msAuWIqgO7sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090517041806AABcN0E
:)
Sorry about all the questions xD
As far as school. The parents want the kids to do better then they have. The second two are easy. Do as I say not as I do. Very common unfortunately.
One word: hypocrite.
That is why.
Give an example of a situation. Kind of hard to answer when not sure on what I'm talking about.
because the parent is putting the blame on someone other then themselves.
because children should do as they are told.
Can you expound?
expand a lil
Why do people in parenting give thumbs down to perfectly good answers?
lf you don't like someone elses opinion, just post your own. Why do people do that, it's so rude?Why do people in parenting give thumbs down to perfectly good answers?
No matter what you say or what opinion you give, someone will always have one different to yours and disagree and feel the 'need' to thumbs down you, just to 'have their say' which is pretty cowardly cause its anonymous when you do it! I do agree with thumbs down when people are just downright cruel or rude and give an answer that really isn't warranted and contains abuse...but if its someone giving their valid opinion, people should respect that... completely agree with you on that..Why do people in parenting give thumbs down to perfectly good answers?
they aint got no swag
I tend only to do thumbs up, and leave the ones I disagree with... though occasionally I make a mistake and hit the down when I mean to up.
I'm not sure what you're basing the ';perfectly good answers'; on, often, especially with parenting a good or a bad answer is a matter of opinion.
Let's say for pure example:
Question is about abortion, I'm pro choice and you're not. I'm likely to give a thumbs down to all anti-abortion answers and you to all pro-choice. It is a matter of opinion.
Question is ';when should I stop breastfeeding my baby?';. Let's say you think its gross to breastfeed after a year but I go with the global norm of weening at 4 years old. In that case you'd probably thumbs down an answer of 3 years old where I might thumbs down an answer of 6 months. It is a matter of opinion.
It is not rude, it is the way to disagree. If the answer is harmful, then I'd report it. At least, as I see it, if I were in a conversation with 10 people which I didn't know I might just simply keep my answers to ';I agree'; (thumbs up) or ';I disagree'; (thumbs down) on some topics rather than give my speil.
Why waste answers? Especially if there are a lot of opinions already given?
thats coz they are bad parents and dont like the fact that someone is actually good at what they do !!!
Many different eyes see these post, and religions, etc.....I depends, otherwise, they feel like they can play the system... It's stupid but you always have a few bad cherries on the cherry tree....
Id rather get thumbs down then the little to get turned in for abuse just because they didnt like my answer. If you dont like the answer, get over it. If you ask questions your gonna get alot of answers you dont like , that doesnt mean its abuse.
Because yahoo answers is filled with PC children They have no clue whats right and wrong even in real life. Reality will smack them in the face one day soon. I take pleasure in knowing this fact. They can't stand honesty.
They just want their answer to be the best. I have seen questions where the first 6 answers all have thumbs down, and then answer 7 doesn't - but they have an answer similar to the first 6. You just know that was the person who gave everyone else thumbs down. I think it is also because there are so many different views on parenting, and people feel the need to justify their own parenting style by trying to show that everyone else's opinions are wrong.
Because they're just ignorant and stupid, and think if they put down someone elses ideas, that will make them right.
probably because they do not know what they are really talking about
its simply because people dont care. Some people love to be rude so screw them. Dont worry about it! People will always be that way...
Because the person who gets thumbs down loses points.....But I always give thumbs up.pimple
No matter what you say or what opinion you give, someone will always have one different to yours and disagree and feel the 'need' to thumbs down you, just to 'have their say' which is pretty cowardly cause its anonymous when you do it! I do agree with thumbs down when people are just downright cruel or rude and give an answer that really isn't warranted and contains abuse...but if its someone giving their valid opinion, people should respect that... completely agree with you on that..Why do people in parenting give thumbs down to perfectly good answers?
they aint got no swag
I tend only to do thumbs up, and leave the ones I disagree with... though occasionally I make a mistake and hit the down when I mean to up.
I'm not sure what you're basing the ';perfectly good answers'; on, often, especially with parenting a good or a bad answer is a matter of opinion.
Let's say for pure example:
Question is about abortion, I'm pro choice and you're not. I'm likely to give a thumbs down to all anti-abortion answers and you to all pro-choice. It is a matter of opinion.
Question is ';when should I stop breastfeeding my baby?';. Let's say you think its gross to breastfeed after a year but I go with the global norm of weening at 4 years old. In that case you'd probably thumbs down an answer of 3 years old where I might thumbs down an answer of 6 months. It is a matter of opinion.
It is not rude, it is the way to disagree. If the answer is harmful, then I'd report it. At least, as I see it, if I were in a conversation with 10 people which I didn't know I might just simply keep my answers to ';I agree'; (thumbs up) or ';I disagree'; (thumbs down) on some topics rather than give my speil.
Why waste answers? Especially if there are a lot of opinions already given?
thats coz they are bad parents and dont like the fact that someone is actually good at what they do !!!
Many different eyes see these post, and religions, etc.....I depends, otherwise, they feel like they can play the system... It's stupid but you always have a few bad cherries on the cherry tree....
Id rather get thumbs down then the little to get turned in for abuse just because they didnt like my answer. If you dont like the answer, get over it. If you ask questions your gonna get alot of answers you dont like , that doesnt mean its abuse.
Because yahoo answers is filled with PC children They have no clue whats right and wrong even in real life. Reality will smack them in the face one day soon. I take pleasure in knowing this fact. They can't stand honesty.
They just want their answer to be the best. I have seen questions where the first 6 answers all have thumbs down, and then answer 7 doesn't - but they have an answer similar to the first 6. You just know that was the person who gave everyone else thumbs down. I think it is also because there are so many different views on parenting, and people feel the need to justify their own parenting style by trying to show that everyone else's opinions are wrong.
Because they're just ignorant and stupid, and think if they put down someone elses ideas, that will make them right.
probably because they do not know what they are really talking about
its simply because people dont care. Some people love to be rude so screw them. Dont worry about it! People will always be that way...
Because the person who gets thumbs down loses points.....But I always give thumbs up.
What was the best parenting/baby book you have read?
I have heard the Baby Whisperer is good and the Happiest Baby on the Block. If I were going to buy 2, which ones would be worth the money?What was the best parenting/baby book you have read?
';The Baby Whisperer'; is lousy. She has a poor understanding of babies. Surprisingly poor for somebody writing about them. One good review:
http://www.kellymom.com/store/reviews/re鈥?/a>
Anybody who says eating is a baby's only work is just dumb. Babies are getting a new PhD and Olympic gold every month. Being an infant is hard work.
';The Happiest Baby on the Block'; is okay, but I don't know if it's worth buying. Swaddle, shh, side, etc; a quick summary will do almost as much as the whole thing.
I would go with Sears and Sears' ';The Baby Book,'; and maybe an infant development book -- ';What's Going On In There?'; is good -- rather than a baby/parenting book.
';Dr Jack Newman's Guide to Breastfeeding'; (aka ';The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers';) is a must-read.
';What to Expect'; is garbage. See
http://www.epinions.com/content_40736820鈥?/a>
for why.
';The Mother's Almanac'; is an oldie but a goodie.What was the best parenting/baby book you have read?
The Baby Book by Dr. Sears and So That's What They're For!
The No-Cry Sleep Solution is also great. I basically recommend any book that recognizes your child as an individual, not the enemy, and promotes bonding and attachment.
';Your Baby and Child'; by Penelope Leach is a good one. Also anything by Sheila Kitzinger!
';The Happiest Baby...'; was a lifesaver for my super fussy son.
I second ';The Continuum Concept'; and ';No-Cry Sleep Solution';
Please beware of any book that tries to ';train'; babies, or treats them as obstacles, inconveniences, or the enemy.
Take all advice with a grain of salt, not matter what book you read!-)
Baby Love by Robin Barker. I love the way is is written, very non-judgmental/preachy. It just explains all the different options and lets you make up your own mind. She has also written one called The Mighty Toddler which is also excellent. By the way, they are Australian books.
I loved the book So Your Gonna Be A Mom/Dad
I would buy the Baby whisperer if i had to choice between them
There are quite a few good books available, but also some really bad ones. I'd recommend any (all) of Dr. Sears' books, but steer clear of Gary Ezzo's ';Babywise'; books.
';Dangers of Ezzo and Babywise';
http://www.fresnofamily.com/ap/ezzo.htm
For Pregnancy-What to expect when your expecting tells you EVERYTHING,I lived by that book.For a good read,Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy is really good,and very funny.Also Girlfriends Guide To Pregnancy by Vicki Iovine.
For Parenting-What to expect the first year is great,just the the pregnancy edition.Baby laughs by Jenny McCarthy is a ';sequel'; where she writes about her expierences after she has her son,also very very good.
Becoming the parent you want to be and baby 411
THE WOMANLY ART OF BREASTFEEDING by La Leche League
NO CRY SLEEP SOLUTION by Elizabeth Pantley
and ';babies uber alles %26amp; maegs'; suggestions too... I've read some, heard great things about the others.
for your 2nd question... neither, buy one of these other books better!!
***edit.... oh yes, please read that link from Quiet Tempest, that book is dangerous... if anyone ever suggests that one to you, run away!!!
Baby 411 just rocks. It kicks the What to Expect book in the head and keeps on going.
I also loved The Nursing Mother's Companion Guide.
Between Baby 411 and TNMCG, I had every question covered.
Your babies first year, week to week guide.
I actually enjoyed looking stuff up on the internet more so than reading books. I was given a few books by friends, and they were okay. But I find that books that cover everything generally only spend a small amount of time on each topic so that they can include many subjects. I would perk my interest on a subject with a book, but then more thourougly research it online. The thing is... there's lots of contradicting information in the books you read. One book may say do this, another may be against it. I preferred to read information from both sides and try to make the most logical decision. I've carried this over now that my daughter has been born.
The Continuum Concept, and the Sears Baby Book.
http://www.askdrsears.com/store/detail.a鈥?/a>
http://www.continuum-concept.org/
Baby Love by Robin Barker
';the girlfriends guide to pregnancy';
';what to expect when you're expecting';
What to Expect when you're expecting
What to Expect in the first year ((my bible))
Parents Magazine
Happiest Baby on the block bored me my son is 13 months now i and i still go back to WTE in the First Year...
What to Expect the 1st year
What to Expect the Toddler Years
Baby: what to expect the first year.
Parenting: my Bible.
';The Baby Whisperer'; is lousy. She has a poor understanding of babies. Surprisingly poor for somebody writing about them. One good review:
http://www.kellymom.com/store/reviews/re鈥?/a>
Anybody who says eating is a baby's only work is just dumb. Babies are getting a new PhD and Olympic gold every month. Being an infant is hard work.
';The Happiest Baby on the Block'; is okay, but I don't know if it's worth buying. Swaddle, shh, side, etc; a quick summary will do almost as much as the whole thing.
I would go with Sears and Sears' ';The Baby Book,'; and maybe an infant development book -- ';What's Going On In There?'; is good -- rather than a baby/parenting book.
';Dr Jack Newman's Guide to Breastfeeding'; (aka ';The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers';) is a must-read.
';What to Expect'; is garbage. See
http://www.epinions.com/content_40736820鈥?/a>
for why.
';The Mother's Almanac'; is an oldie but a goodie.What was the best parenting/baby book you have read?
The Baby Book by Dr. Sears and So That's What They're For!
The No-Cry Sleep Solution is also great. I basically recommend any book that recognizes your child as an individual, not the enemy, and promotes bonding and attachment.
';Your Baby and Child'; by Penelope Leach is a good one. Also anything by Sheila Kitzinger!
';The Happiest Baby...'; was a lifesaver for my super fussy son.
I second ';The Continuum Concept'; and ';No-Cry Sleep Solution';
Please beware of any book that tries to ';train'; babies, or treats them as obstacles, inconveniences, or the enemy.
Take all advice with a grain of salt, not matter what book you read!-)
Baby Love by Robin Barker. I love the way is is written, very non-judgmental/preachy. It just explains all the different options and lets you make up your own mind. She has also written one called The Mighty Toddler which is also excellent. By the way, they are Australian books.
I loved the book So Your Gonna Be A Mom/Dad
I would buy the Baby whisperer if i had to choice between them
There are quite a few good books available, but also some really bad ones. I'd recommend any (all) of Dr. Sears' books, but steer clear of Gary Ezzo's ';Babywise'; books.
';Dangers of Ezzo and Babywise';
http://www.fresnofamily.com/ap/ezzo.htm
For Pregnancy-What to expect when your expecting tells you EVERYTHING,I lived by that book.For a good read,Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy is really good,and very funny.Also Girlfriends Guide To Pregnancy by Vicki Iovine.
For Parenting-What to expect the first year is great,just the the pregnancy edition.Baby laughs by Jenny McCarthy is a ';sequel'; where she writes about her expierences after she has her son,also very very good.
Becoming the parent you want to be and baby 411
THE WOMANLY ART OF BREASTFEEDING by La Leche League
NO CRY SLEEP SOLUTION by Elizabeth Pantley
and ';babies uber alles %26amp; maegs'; suggestions too... I've read some, heard great things about the others.
for your 2nd question... neither, buy one of these other books better!!
***edit.... oh yes, please read that link from Quiet Tempest, that book is dangerous... if anyone ever suggests that one to you, run away!!!
Baby 411 just rocks. It kicks the What to Expect book in the head and keeps on going.
I also loved The Nursing Mother's Companion Guide.
Between Baby 411 and TNMCG, I had every question covered.
Your babies first year, week to week guide.
I actually enjoyed looking stuff up on the internet more so than reading books. I was given a few books by friends, and they were okay. But I find that books that cover everything generally only spend a small amount of time on each topic so that they can include many subjects. I would perk my interest on a subject with a book, but then more thourougly research it online. The thing is... there's lots of contradicting information in the books you read. One book may say do this, another may be against it. I preferred to read information from both sides and try to make the most logical decision. I've carried this over now that my daughter has been born.
The Continuum Concept, and the Sears Baby Book.
http://www.askdrsears.com/store/detail.a鈥?/a>
http://www.continuum-concept.org/
Baby Love by Robin Barker
';the girlfriends guide to pregnancy';
';what to expect when you're expecting';
What to Expect when you're expecting
What to Expect in the first year ((my bible))
Parents Magazine
Happiest Baby on the block bored me my son is 13 months now i and i still go back to WTE in the First Year...
What to Expect the 1st year
What to Expect the Toddler Years
Baby: what to expect the first year.
Parenting: my Bible.
Whats the Best parenting advice any one has ever given you?
I seen a question earlier on best advice you could give i was wondering now best advice ever received.For Me it was even when the day comes when he says he hates you he doesn't mean it so don't take it to heart.That's always stayed with me more so now that he is a teenager.Whats the Best parenting advice any one has ever given you?
That no matter how hard you try there is no such thing as a perfect mom.Whats the Best parenting advice any one has ever given you?
A few things have been memorable over the years:
1) don't sweat the small stuff - and it's ALL small stuff
2) Pick your battles %26lt;some aren't worth the fight%26gt;
3) Look for humor in every POSSIBLE moment %26amp; situation - especially the tough ones!
4) Find joy in the journey....
5) Enjoy them, love them, hold them as often and much as you can while they are little and you are still everything to them.... because once they are teenagers - you won't look so loveable anymore for a few years!
the best advice i ever got was when i was complaining with a colleague of mine that when i went home from work, my 2 year old was throwing tantrums, and really misbehaving. she adviced me that i shouldn't start cooking and doing beds etc.. as soon as i get home. i had to sit down on the carpet with my son and give him 30 mins, when mummy is all his. at first i used to be on pins and needles, to start cooking etc...but after some time i realised that the tantrums stopped, and after that i'd given him the attention he deserved, then he would play by himself and let me do the chores i had to do. that was the best advice i ever got and it really worked and i give it to all working mums.
From my mom: This isn't a 'forever' thing.
Meaning, when I was crying -- hysterically -- from being so sleep deprived, her advice let me know it wasn't going to go on forever -- and it didn't.
When my husband and I were having a real hard time adjusting to having this new little person in our lives, it let me know this stage wouldn't be last forever, and it didn't.
And so on.
Probably the best advice I got that has helped me keep my sanity - set an early bedtime, a happy bedtime routine and stick with it. Kids need lots of sleep and Mom needs time on her own to chill out.
From a parenting magazine:
The best stage of your baby's development is the one he/she is currently in
1) sleep when you can
2) when you are loosing patience count to 10
Try and be a parent, try and be involved in their live. If you atleast TRY, you're doing better than half the ';parents'; out there.
Amen Ky!
The best piece of advice I ever received was it's ok to take time for yourself and it's important to do it on a regular basis.
Put your children before yourself and not just be their friend but be a parent.
Best advice: Trust your instincts.
';Trust yourself.';
All the best.
That no matter how hard you try there is no such thing as a perfect mom.Whats the Best parenting advice any one has ever given you?
A few things have been memorable over the years:
1) don't sweat the small stuff - and it's ALL small stuff
2) Pick your battles %26lt;some aren't worth the fight%26gt;
3) Look for humor in every POSSIBLE moment %26amp; situation - especially the tough ones!
4) Find joy in the journey....
5) Enjoy them, love them, hold them as often and much as you can while they are little and you are still everything to them.... because once they are teenagers - you won't look so loveable anymore for a few years!
the best advice i ever got was when i was complaining with a colleague of mine that when i went home from work, my 2 year old was throwing tantrums, and really misbehaving. she adviced me that i shouldn't start cooking and doing beds etc.. as soon as i get home. i had to sit down on the carpet with my son and give him 30 mins, when mummy is all his. at first i used to be on pins and needles, to start cooking etc...but after some time i realised that the tantrums stopped, and after that i'd given him the attention he deserved, then he would play by himself and let me do the chores i had to do. that was the best advice i ever got and it really worked and i give it to all working mums.
From my mom: This isn't a 'forever' thing.
Meaning, when I was crying -- hysterically -- from being so sleep deprived, her advice let me know it wasn't going to go on forever -- and it didn't.
When my husband and I were having a real hard time adjusting to having this new little person in our lives, it let me know this stage wouldn't be last forever, and it didn't.
And so on.
Probably the best advice I got that has helped me keep my sanity - set an early bedtime, a happy bedtime routine and stick with it. Kids need lots of sleep and Mom needs time on her own to chill out.
From a parenting magazine:
The best stage of your baby's development is the one he/she is currently in
1) sleep when you can
2) when you are loosing patience count to 10
Try and be a parent, try and be involved in their live. If you atleast TRY, you're doing better than half the ';parents'; out there.
Amen Ky!
The best piece of advice I ever received was it's ok to take time for yourself and it's important to do it on a regular basis.
Put your children before yourself and not just be their friend but be a parent.
Best advice: Trust your instincts.
';Trust yourself.';
All the best.
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