What do you think of parenting classes that do a mechanical baby project?

I'm in a parent/child development class and in November, we're doing a baby project. For this, we get a mechanical baby that cries every three to four hours and we have to hold a key in their back for about 10-15 minutes, to symbolize feeding them. We get the babies for five days, over night and over a weekend. We also have to take them to classes, when the teachers allow it. I cannot wait until we get to do this project, it's most of the reason I wanted to take this class.





Anyway, just wondering your thoughts on the project and if you think it's a good idea.





Oh, and btw, I'm a senior in high school, the class is open to ninth-twelfth, I think.What do you think of parenting classes that do a mechanical baby project?
I took that class in high school. I remember when i had to ';feed'; the baby during the night.... i put the key in, and put the rubber band around the arm, Or something like that, to hold the key in place..and went back to sleep.


If you drive with the baby, do use the seat belt. mine was in the front seat, and i slammed on my breaks and the baby went flying to the dashboard then to the floor, and i got points docked for that.





I will tell you this, that it is nothing compared to the real thing. It's not even comparable in any aspect other then it's a baby.


I think that for this type of class, they need to get real babies.. and have the class take care of the baby for 8 hours...


I'm sure alot of people would think twice about having sex! (not implying anything about you)What do you think of parenting classes that do a mechanical baby project?
I had this project in high school it was great my dad wasn't so fond of it waking him up at night but I was really good about quieting it right away so it wasn't so bad.
I think it is far more realistic than carrying around an egg like we had to (back in the pre-mechanical baby days.) My only issue is that a week is too short! If they are trying to prevent teen pregnancies, you want to make the light at the end of the tunnel a bit further away! It'd be even more realistic if they were to cry inconsolably every now and then. But that'd put people off taking the class, heheh.
I think it's a really lame idea. I did the egg thing in high school, which really sucked. With ours, we had to poke a hole in each end and blow the yolks and whites out so they were way fragile. The flour sacks are easily replaced too. But as for the mechanical ones~~~there's always a way to cheat your way around it, which is sad. There is no cheating when it's a real baby.

lip chap

Teens; What parenting skills will you borrow from your own parents when you have children?

If you have a good look at the way your parents raised you/are raising you, what do you disagree with?





What will make a conscience choice to do/not do with your own children (when you decide to have them)?





Do you think your parents have done a good job at raising you? Why or why not?Teens; What parenting skills will you borrow from your own parents when you have children?
I agree with almost everything they did. In fact, I don't think I'd change anything. Mine were always very open and honest with me, and extremely supportive when I needed them most.





I believe that my parents have done a great job with me, quite honestly - I've managed to gain my undergraduate degree, have nearly gained my postgraduate, and have taken a year off because I was ill, and all at the age of 23, which I think is pretty impressive. I literally couldn't have done it without their support, both financial and emotional.Teens; What parenting skills will you borrow from your own parents when you have children?
As of now I don't wan't kids.
My parents rasied me in a semi strict Christian enviriment. I was homeschooled all my life. To some people they might think I might be one of those 'sterotype' homeschoolers when they hear that I'm homeschooled. But I'm not, I like how my parents rasied my siblings and I in some areas. Other areas not so much.





I like how my parents installed in me at a young age to know right from wrong. And to show respect to my elders. I'm also glad that my parents rasied my siblings and I in a Christian Home. We are very blessed to have that privilage. And I love that my siblings and I know that our parents love us no matter what we do. I'm also glad to know that my parents will always be there for me, no matter what.





One of the things I won't do when I have kids is to homeschool them without first giving them a choice. If I ever homeschool my kids it will be because they literally can't go to school (because of health issues or some such thing) Or they want to be homeschooled. I want my kids to not be as sheltered as I was and to understand WHY they can't do stuff. I want to be able to give my future kids answers, that make sense instead of the typical parent responces ';Because I said so'; And as I do wish I was raised a bit differently but I know that I can't change it. I do know that when I have kids I will mostly try to follow my parents footsteps in raising kids. Not all of the ways, but most of them.





I know the way my parents raised me and my siblings was the best way they knew how. I know parents make mistakes and aren't perfect. But I also know that my parents are the best parents I could have had. Thank God for placing in the family I have. I don't think I could ever give up my parents. So basically I think my parents have done a pretty good job in raising me, I've never been arested, never gotten drunk/drank acholal or have done drugs. Haven't killed anyone, haven't been in jail, get along mostly with my siblings and parents.


I know I'm very blessed with the parents God gave me.
Chose good morals. Stick with them. Enforce them. Spread them around in annoying chain letters.





Yeah, my rents have been good. The only thing I would change is the myspace rule. (They don't care if i have a myspace, but I don't get on it.)





My parents have been morally right. They never abuse me, love me, do all they can. Sacrifices come with children, and they've chosen well.
I grew up in a family of 8, Mum and Dad 3 boys 3 girls and we are all basically all decent people.


I however haven't had kids and in a way I don't mind.
My parents raised me with high morals and pushed for perfection. I'd like the children of tomorrow [whether they're mine or not] to have a good sense of what is right and what is wrong, but I don't want them to feel pressured to be a certain way.





From the very start my parents discouraged name-calling and teasing. They told me stories of ways in which they'd been teased as children, and asked me how I would feel if something similar happened to me. In our house, there was never a question that couldn't be answered, and questions about everyday life were paritucarly important. If we were at the supermarket or out eating in public, my parents would look for misbehaving children and quietly, patiently explain to me just what they were doing wrong.





I think because my parents were so open and because they were ALWAYS trying to teach me SOMETHING, I've grown up with a better understanding of the world and the people in it.





For example, I know that there are ';preps';, ie, kids whose parents spoil them rotten. I know that there are ';nerds';, ie, kids who actually care about their education. And I know that there are the ';misfits';, ie, people who aren't afraid to be themselves. I would never prejudice someone solely on the way they look or do things.





Originality, in our household, was always rewarded. Now if I see someone in school doing something in an unusual way, I applaud them for it rather than point and say ';look at that loser; what at idiot';, as most of my classmates would.





The only thing I think I would do different than my parents has to do with siblings, and splitting equal praise between them. I have two older brothers who are both exceptionally intelligent. I've spent a lot of my life chasing after their shadows, and I don't think my parents ever really noticed until recently. [I am fourteen.] I second-guess myself a lot, wondering if what I'm doing is ';enough';.





Grades were always [and still are] the clincher here. For the longest time I was scared of what would happen if I were to bring home a C. Lately, though, my parents have made it clear to me that they will always be proud of me. It sounds cheesy now that I think about it, but they sat me down and explained to me the things they are particuarly proud of me for. They said that though my brothers excell at mathematics, neither of them ever took an interest in English, something I am passionate about. They also congratulated me on the way I feel everyone deserves a fair second chance.





I love my parents dearly and couldn't imagine being better. :]
my parents have raised me well even though sometimes i wish that they were younger and much more hip (their in their 40's and im 13) because my friends parents are in their 30's. but they have more experience because they raised 2 other teens before me and because of their oldness (lol)


yeah sometimes being old helps
As I was growing up I intensely disliked my parents, the enforced religious beliefs of my step mother and the hidings I got from an unpredictable father.


As a result I would really moody and often depressed. That led me to have a low self esteem and it wasn't until I started working that I was the equal to others.


My upbringing led me to make mistakes, and face up to them, and basically I am a good guy, the only trouble with the law were a couple DIC incidents.


That was in the days when drink driving was rarely enforced and hardly mentioned as it is now.
I do disaggree with the way my parents raised me. They drink, party, are self centered and are never around. I will choose to put family before friends when I am a parent. No, I don't think they did a good job raising me. They have taught me nothing, but I have learned from my own mistakes.
as of now, i don't want any kids when i grow up.





:oh thanks for giving me thumbs down just because unlike most teens i dont want any kids.
Im 16 and having a lil girl name mylie, i learned a lot from my parents about parents, I agree not to spoil her to death, not to baby them so much, becuase my sister was babyied and she is such a wuss now and has no friends. also punishment is totally nessasry you really do learn from it. eat all you vegies, but make a game out of it so they do eat them for fun! play with them for at least an hour daily, they need parent play time even if there new born!!! what I dissagree with is not listening to his/her side of the story and diside a good soulution, i disagree with yelling when unessasry. i disagree with not doing somthing with them becuase you dont wnat to and make up an ecuse thats just plain oll mean. those are the things i will and wil not do with mylie!!!1








please pick me as a best answer ♥

What are the sites for parenting advice and children magazines?

I need the actual web sites' addresses. I've tried to perform my own search; however, it only gave me offers for free subscriptions. I need it for work purposes. I am a Toddler Teacher. Thanks!What are the sites for parenting advice and children magazines?
Parents Magazine


http://www.parents.com/





National Geographic Kids


http://kids.nationalgeographic.com/





Cookie


http://www.cookiemag.com/





Highlights


http://www.highlights.com/





This site is still available though the magazine is no longer being published


Wondertime


http://wondertime.go.com/








Hope this helpsWhat are the sites for parenting advice and children magazines?
Priceless Parenting offers an online parenting class, articles, presentations and free monthly parenting tips: http://www.PricelessParenting.com/

What is the weirdest parenting advice you have ever recived ?

Ok so I really hate it when people come up to you and try to give you parenting tips and they have no idea what they are talking about. It doesn't matter if they are family, friends or strangers. So whats the most off the wall thing someone has told you?What is the weirdest parenting advice you have ever recived ?
it wasn't given to me but it was given on a radio show by a caller. the topic was advice for dealing with a slightly unruly and hyper 1 year old. some lady told the radio host to get a squirt bottle, like you would use for a disobedient cat, and spray the back of the kid's neck with bleach. bleach!? the radio host disagreed with that vehemently, but...gee, have you read a bottle of bleach? you're not supposed to get that on your skin.What is the weirdest parenting advice you have ever recived ?
sorry worst

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when I was born and I had my days and nights mixed up somebody told my mom to hold me by my ankles and swing me upside down and that would straighten out my body, WTF?





I was also told by my grandmother that it isn't safe to breastfeed because breastmilk isn't sterile and if I insisted on doing it I needed to at least be scrubbing my breasts before each feeding (how nasty does she think my boobs are??)


She also insisted that I put a hat and gloves and heavy blanket on my son when he was a newborn (he was born in July and it was 102 degrees outside)
My cousin had a very bad habit of constantly picking her nose when she was a small child. My aunt was told to tape my cousins fingers together to prevent her from inserting them back into her nose.
This isn't weird, but it's still a pet peeve of mine. I hate it when people (especially people at work because then I'm forced to be nice) say ';your son is 9 months old and he's still not sleepign through the night?! That's ridiculous, have you tried x, y, and z';. When I reply that yes, indeed, I have tried all tricks adn he's just nto a sleeper they reply with ';well, that's impossible because I did x adn it worked like a charm';





Oh yeah, and my parents suggested putting brandy on his gums for teething. When I say, ';no, I would rather not give my child alcohol thankyouverymuch'; they say ';well, we did it with you and you turned out alright.';
nothing too off the wall, i just think its funny when people who have no kids give you ';advise';.

What is the best parenting filter software?

I have a customer who wants a filter installed on her computers. Price doesn't matter, it just has to work well. Also, it would be nice if the software supported 2 computers, so I don't have to buy multiple licenses. Thanks.What is the best parenting filter software?
WebAllow - best filter of its kind as it allows to view only those sites that you select http://www.weballow.com What is the best parenting filter software?
strongly recommend NetDog Porn Filter : http://www.netdogsoft.com , netdog blocks all porn quitely and automatically in the background when anyone's on the computer.

What was the worst parenting advice you received from someone?

And what was the best?





Was there anyone that you hung on their every word, or someone that you pretended to listen to but thought they were full of it?What was the worst parenting advice you received from someone?
WORST ~ when a child acts up, have them stand in the corner with full cans in their hands, holding them at shoulder-height, repeating ';What would Jesus do ?'; until they beg to stop.


Two alarming things :


1) LAME


2) I can almost guarantee that Jesus wouldn't hold up cans as self-penance.





BEST~My Mom, encouraging me not to fall victim to the ';Cat's in the Cradle'; syndrome like she had to.





Full of it?


My MIL. My brain is on auto-pilot about 95 % of the time when she babbles on, especially with anything concerning my SD, who has been her special project and her golden child for the last 18 years.


Recently confirmed is the fact that my SD is far from golden~What was the worst parenting advice you received from someone?
The best was how to handle Nick. Do you remember Nick? I posted about him a few times. He's the cruddy, bossy, mean friend of my son's, which, thanks to the people here, they are apart. Also Bosox with her four-wheeling advice. Never forgot that one.





I get bad advice all the time, but I forget what they are because I tune them out. They're ususally offset by some great people, so that's the part I remember.





I don't know if I hang on every word, but sometimes I sit around waiting for what Des has to say on something. Our kids are the same age, she also has a special needs child, and well, she is level headed. Oh and Wordnerd and Butscratch too, but that's just because they crack me up. They're usually not that helpful.
Having eight kids (or even back when we had four or five) parents with one or two very well behaved kids would attempt to offer advice about organization, behavior, etc. I usually just pretended to listen but didn't take any of it seriously because they had no idea what it was actually like to take care of a large family.





As far as the best advice, having a schedule actually written out is great for me and for the older kids to know what is coming next. As far as organization and whatnot, the label maker is my BFF.
The worst: I guess that would be the old ';crying is good for their lungs.';





The best: ';You are her mom. You know her best. You make the choices you think are best for her.'; (Of course it goes without saying, but it was nice to hear this when I was a new mommy.)





I tend to value the advice of my brother and his wife because they are excellent parents who have researched a lot of issues, but I don't do everything they did. My stepsister's advice goes in one ear and out the other.
My grandfather told me when my son had a tooth coming in, I should take a knife and cut the gum line right above the tooth a little. He said it would relieve the pressure and make it less painful.





Needless to say, I never did that.





Best advice, don't sweat the small stuff. My MIL tells me that on a daily basis.





Fortunately, I haven't had a whole lot of people telling me what to do and how to do it in regards to my son.
Worst advice: When my daughter was 2 weeks old my husband's aunt who is an older nurse told me to replace one feeding a day with an 8 oz. bottle of water. Um, no.





Best advise: Always trust your instincts. I brought my daughter to the ER one time because I couldn't shake the feeling that she was sick with more than just a little cold. She had a slightly runny nose, no fever and wasn't fussy but I wanted to make sure. Turns out she was in the early stages of pneumonia. Because she was treated so early it never got serious. I was so happy I trusted my own instincts that day.
The worst I ever heard was: ';My dad beat the crap out of me and I turned out fine';





There was someone, I believed everything she said to the point I didn't even think about it. And I shouldn't have done that. Because she was wrong.
worst: substitute water for formula/breast milk because sometimes they are just thirsty





best: it's ok to put the baby down and let him cry for a minute if you are at your wits end and need a break for a few minutes to collect yourself
Using key words as opposed to no all the time. Hot, stop, danger, ETC..


I think most parents and people are full of it.
the best advice is don't sweat the small stuff





the worst advice was to not get my daughter vaccinated
worst- let him cry for up to a half hour before you check on him





best- sleep when baby sleeps, really important lol

Should parents be required to take a parenting class during the hospital stay when the baby is born?

What benefits whould this have? I am writing a Thesis on getting a program started through the government requiring parents to have a parenting lecture or class during their hospital stay. Any comments are appreciated. Thanks!Should parents be required to take a parenting class during the hospital stay when the baby is born?
No. I'm not sure how it would be enforced, anyway. Not give a couple their child? That would be a bit ridiculous.Should parents be required to take a parenting class during the hospital stay when the baby is born?
There might be a benefit to such a class before the birth, but right after the baby is born, a class is the last thing they'll have time or attention for. (And even if they sat through it, they're not in a frame of mind in which they'd retain any of the information.)





However, just because something ';might'; be of ';benefit'; is not adequate rationale for making it a federal requirement.
No. We need the government out of our lives.
During a short hospital stay, parents need to get used to taking care of their new child. They are too busy for some silly class! Their natural protective instincts will tell them more than any parenting class ever could.
We have enough government decision making. There are many parenting classes available in my area and persons who attend willingly are more likely to learn.
Parenting begins BEFORE they have the baby.


There is too much going on (recuperating, realizing you now have to care for someone 24/7 for the next 18 years and beyond), setting up home and schedule, etc., to try to learn anything else.
Forcing parents to take a class is wrong on so many levels. First of all, in time, what they are teaching could easily be found to be incorrect. Remember when Bottle feeding used to be far better then breast feeding? What happens when these forced classes give misinformation? Who's going to held responsible if this information that results in harm to a child?





What do you recommend happen to a parent that doesn't take the class? Prison? Fines? How are you going to pay for the bureaucrats that administer and check on who has and hasn't taken the test? Are you suggesting that the parents pay for it? because having a child is costly enough without tacking on this kind of unnecessary system. How many classes are enough for you? Are you going to force parents to take time off work? Are you going to compensate them for missed hours?





What problem are you hoping to solve my forcing parents to take this class? When people start looking for answers to problems that don't exist they're asking for trouble.





Humanity has survived how many thousand years without mandated baby classes, I think we'll manage without them for a while longer.
Because we want insurance premiums to go up so that the mother of six can get her sixth parenting class? You certainly can't mandate and then allow insurers to not pay for it. What about the person who decides to use a midwife instead, maybe because they don't want to take the class for some reason. There won't be many, but those who would do it for that reason (possibly endangering the baby) are going to be the worst parents. Can you mandate that the new mother not sleep through the class? Will there be a test following, with babies taken from the mothers who don't make the cut? What about fathers? They aren't patients, so you can't very well force them. The mere action of mandating a class versus making someone pay for it, would reduce the value of the class in many people's eyes, causing them to take it less seriously.
maybe teenage pregnancys, but not anyone older

lip chap

For parents who have older children: What age did you find parenting to be the most difficult?

My husband and I were debating this a few nights ago. What age was your child that you found to be the most stressful, difficult, confusing on you as a parent? Does the age differ between girls and boys?For parents who have older children: What age did you find parenting to be the most difficult?
Between 6th and 10th grade with my oldest was just miserable for me. Now that she is older, I can also step outside myself long enough to see that it was miserable for her too.


See, I was under the impression that she did it just to spite me, LOL.


I don't know, yet, if there is a difference between boys and girls.


I think it varies from kid to kid.


My youngest daughter is now in 7th grade, and I have had none of the problems with her that I had with my oldest by this age.


And my son is in 5th grade..... it doesn't look as if he'll be giving me much grief either.


I will tell you that my oldest went back and forth between her father and I, and therein may have been the difference. Not a bad man by any stretch of the imagination, but he parented much differently than I do.


Maybe she acted out from being confused, and getting mixed messages ?For parents who have older children: What age did you find parenting to be the most difficult?
I have a 16 almost 17 year old and a 7 almost 8 year old. I have found that no age is easier or more difficult then any other. The challenges and rewards may change but it's all the same yet different.
a span of about 6 months that happens anytime between 13 and 15 where you have to re-establish you are the boss and still holding the reins...once this stage is conquered ..its smooth sailing . If it never gets established ..your life will be teenage hell
In my opinion it was the teenage years..15 on up!
teens

What is the worst parenting advice you have ever received?

I have been given a lot of parenting advice over the years and have even tried some of the suggestions. I have since learned to just trust my own instincts. What I want to know is what is the worst or craziest advice you've ever been given, and did you try it?What is the worst parenting advice you have ever received?
hehehe, I get so much bad advice all the time! But the ones that always take the cake come from my MIL. For instance, keep a baby in a playpen all day without picking them up and never let them learn to crawl so that they are easier to manage, only let them out when they have learnt to stand and walk and knock the playpen over! Can you believe that!!! Or how about, tying a toddler into a cot to stop them throwing the bed clothes off so that you don't need to have heating going all night. I think that she was lucky that laws were so lenient 40 odd years ago. With some of the things older women have told me to do, its a wonder any of us made it out of childhood alive! haha.What is the worst parenting advice you have ever received?
';Never trust your children. They're always up to no good.';


I've recieved NUMEROUS pieces of advice when it comes to parenting from all kinds of people...but this quote was probably the worst comment I ever heard.


I was at my 8yr son's football game this past fall and I was talking to a women next to me. She has a older son the same age as my oldest (10yrs) and was telling me how he was extremely sneaky and constantly lying in the past etc. She can't believe a word that comes out of his mouth and doesn't have trust in her 8yr either because of what her oldest did. I told her that my 10yr was usually well behaved, didn't lie etc and on the rare occasion that he does, we handle with it with a punishment He didn't lose my trust forever and his behavior certainly doesn't influence how I treat my other kids.. She said, ';Yeah, that's what I thought when it came to my son too, but I was WRONG. I won't have it happen with my youndest...Never trust your kids...';


Well if you never trust them at any point in their life or judge them based on another's before, you're going to run into some issues in the future.


Best Wishes =]
Anything told to me by my now ex MIL. When my daughter was a newborn she told me I was going to spoil my child by holding her. Mind you, she was a few hours old. She also told me to put whiskey on her pacifier to put her to sleep. My daughter was a preemie and needed to be fed every 4 hours, even if that meant waking up to do so. The nut told me not to bother waking up, and let the baby sleep. There's so many loopy and inane things she told me and no, I didn't follow her advice and lucky for my daughter and I, the nut is no longer a part of our lives.
';Put karo syrup in one ounce of water and feed it to your newborn to make them sleep through the night';. Seriously, what the french toast!!!?!?? You don't give a newborn karo and water like that! I've been given some nutty, off the wall advice but this one took the cake.





I trust my own instincts :)
To put rice/cereal in my daughter's milk to get her to sleep through the night - it's BS, no I did not listen - I did my research first! Also - to let kids cry it out - mine only cried when they had a reason and I don't like to ignore that! It goes against all of my mommy instincts! I don't ignore those!
I was told to always be strict with my kids to keep them in line. As they got older I realized that the more you try to control your kids the more they rebel and the best thing to do is not to control them but direct them in the right direction.
The worst advice i ever got was a man told me instead of paying for stitches or bandaids you should super glue the wounds closed. And no im not anywhere near stupid enough to superglue a wound closed instead of taking them for stitches.
ALWAYS believe what your kids say. that is like wrong because they could also lie. however, i strongly believe that you should believe them most of the time when the background evidence is pretty clear that your child is innocent.
'Hug him tight, tell him not to do so', whenever he shows tantrum, scream or cry for no reasons.


I tried and situations get worst. I don't believe in it anymore. It's all depend of types of kids.
My grandparents told me to smack my kids to ';put them in line';. I wanted to ask how that worked for them, seeing as between them they have 16 children and 5 max come around anymore.
The worst parenting advice i have ever received was when my mom told me not to have kids! This was because she has 3 kids now and never has time to herself. Actually it is quite funny!LOL
When my toddler used to bite, people said bite him back. I never did.
The worst i would say when someone told me ';Beat them with a frying pan'; :S
To let your baby cry it out, I would never do that.

What is the best parenting arrangement for 5 year old starting school?

My 5 year old daughter starts school next year and my ex and I can't seem to agree on the best parenting arrangement. I have proposed a week on week off arrangement as I feel this would provide more stability. She prefers a mid week handover. Which of these options would be better for my daughter? What is the best parenting arrangement for 5 year old starting school?
It will depend on how much her schedule changes when she is transferred -- like does she have to get up earlier for school, a longer drive, etc. I would think that the week on/week off would be best for consistency, but I'm sure it would be hard on you (and the ex) not to see her for a week.





Good luck!What is the best parenting arrangement for 5 year old starting school?
If you're both near the school, I think either arrangement can be fine. I know people who've handed off mid week for years and it totally works for them. Not that their children are older, it requires coordination of activities, etc but is very doable.
My friends picks her daughter up from school on a monday afternoon and drops her off the following monday, and then her dad picks her up from school and the cycle goes on.





It works well.
my daughter see her dad every other weekend and he takes her school on monday morning

How is it different parenting a non-biological child to a biological child?

I ask because I'm currently the foster parent of 2 children who face the distinct possibility of not returning to their biological parents.


We have a great connection and bond, and both children are very happy and settled. What are some ideas for making sure they stay connected to their biological origins/family?


Thanks in advance.How is it different parenting a non-biological child to a biological child?
I agree with Robin, we made a little scrapbook called ';yourchildsname story';. We put pictures of her bmother and bfamily inside. So far I see the only parenting differences are that our children who were adopted into our family need more assurance and more love.





Include bparents names in evening prayers before bed, send cards for holidays, and call, email or visit. Whatever is open to your and your bparents. Remind them always that their bparents love them and so do you. How blessed are these kids to have all these people who love them!





Something i wasn't prepared for was people saying to my child, aren't you so lucky to be adopted into such a wonderful family. I firmly reply no we are the lucky ones to be able to parent this amazing child. Some will even try to tell you again what they mean. I'm sorry i know what you mean but trust me WE are the lucky ones.


Good Luck to you.How is it different parenting a non-biological child to a biological child?
My two siblings and I are adopted. I never could detect any real differences between the way our family functioned and the way my friends' bio-families functioned.





I simply think there is an extra layer that is better dealt with, than stuck under the bed. I think it is the responsibility of the parents to bring up relevant, age appropriate topics that relate to adoption and its issues. Kids will not ask unless they know the parents are comfortable answering.





Our adoptions were closed and there was only scant info about our origins (height, weight, eye color, etc). If you do have info about the kids' biological families, make sure that it is always available to them. Ask them what they want to do. Be willing to stand-up for them when they might not feel so strong themselves...I am still angry that my mom would not ';tell off'; my 7th grade science teacher for making me do a project on my family's genetics and then posted it on a bulletin board where it was available for public scrutiny. (I was not sensitive to being known as adopted, I simply wanted it to be on MY terms.)





On a humorous note: Remember the very first time you heard about sex and it sounded so disgusting to think that your parents actually did that? Adopted kids can very comfortably and totally avoid that disturbing mental picture.
You are setting a great example for other people. Most importantly you are taking steps to insure that the children you have, will grow up in a safe, loving, nuturing family that doesn't have secrets.





Best wishes to you and the children.
just get them to write letters to them or call every once in awhile
I just want to say ';KUDOS TO YOU!'; for being so open to helping the children stay connected. That's AWESOME!





Perhaps you can help them make scrapbooks that incorporate their first families...pictures...stories...happy memories...with their life in your home. Sort of a memory book - ';All About Me'; - their very own stories.





If their biological families don't keep in regular contact, help them deal with their disappointment. Remind them often that it's not their fault %26amp; that they're lovable. Don't criticize the bio family in front of the kids. When a child is made to feel bad about a parent, they may feel bad about themselves.





God bless!
I don't think the actual parenting should be any different. I adopted my son when he was 2; he is my only child. He gets treats when he behaves himself and he gets time outs when he doesn't. He goes to school, does homework, and has chores. He has plenty of toys, books, and clothes. I tell him I love him every day and I say prayers and snuggle with him at bedtime.





However, our conversations are probably quite a bit different at times than those of biological children and parents. For example, children will never ask their biological parents why their first parents couldn't keep them. They will never wonder what their original birth certificate looked like or said. They will most likely never experience the loss of their entire biological family all at once.





I'm sure you'll get other good answers here. Those are just some things I came up with on the fly.
Encourage the children to write letters to family members and to call occasionally if possble, but don't force the kids if they don't want to.

What is the best parenting advice you have?

For children of all ages. Any advice at all.





~ I think mine would be to get video, lots of it. Because children grow up so much faster than planned.What is the best parenting advice you have?
Mine would be to do what you think is right for your kids, not what everyone else tells you is right.What is the best parenting advice you have?
Each is Different and each have their own ways. First you must listen. When they are sad or their feelings are hurt, or proud and laughing... Give a Hug. Tell them you Love them every chance you get. Teach them Please and Thank you.. Be Honest with them, Be Patient... Laugh at the joke if it's not funny. When they holler Watch me respond like it was better than anything you seen in your life. When you say ';NO'; Explain why and be forward and clear. Hold their hands, play with them if they feel like playing. Most important - Treasure the Memories for a Life Time.
I say take lots of pictures .I just recently developed over 30 rolls of film.It was awsome to see my kids little again!!! I also have kept things the kids have made and given me,I have a hope chest.
To hug and kiss them as much as possible, tell them how much you love them. I love the video idea. Read to them. And just enjoy them as much as you can because they dont stay little long.
Be consistent, be firm and be loving. Keep to a routine for the most part and remember to acknowledge good behavior and not just focus on bad behavior.


Above all.......be prepared to be flexible. You WILL do some of those things you SWORE you'd NEVER do. And it's OK.
Tell them always the truth according to their age. Your word will be the law for them, they will know that coming to you, they will get the truth.
DONT SPOILE THEM


they did that to me and its not good bcuz then they'll get use to getting every thing and when one day u say no to sum thing theyll get mad truxh me i'm like dat!
Consistency and Godly influence! Also, keep up with their baby book, because you think you'll remember everything, but you'll soon find out you don't remember what happened yesterday, much less 8 years ago when they were 4 mos. old!!!! Take lots of pictures!
I think i would have a lot of physical games for my kids, like base ball, basket ball, and my favorites, i would love to see my daughter play soccer, and my son football. i really love football, that's the game my boyfriend plays, i love him more for that. Don't take my word for it, you can have your kids play the games you have passion for, you wouldn't even mis any of their school games.

How do you make parenting decisions with your significant other?

I'm just curious how other people do this or if there is even a decision at all. My husband and I have two totally different ideas of parenting but somehow we do pretty good together through compromise and strategy.





So, how do you make parenting decisions? Does one person do the majority of the parenting? Do you even discuss parenting with your significant? I'm just curious! Thanks!How do you make parenting decisions with your significant other?
my sons dad and i are seperated, but still communicate regularly for the benefit of our son, and when we've had to make specific decisions, we've talked about it and listened to each others opinions, decided which we both thought would work, tried it and if it didn't work, try the next thing.


I think its best to both contribute, and different ideas can work together with compromise.How do you make parenting decisions with your significant other?
Parenting today is SOO hard! I have 4 children and work full time, so I know the challenges first hand..a great resource that I found was MyLiveCoach. He is an online parenting coach. Check him out. MyLiveCoach@Yahoo.com. It was really helpful for me! Hope it helps!

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We talk to each other about parenting all of the time. We listen to each other's observations, opinions %26amp; ideas with respect for each other as parents.





We are split-shift parenting - work on opposite shifts %26amp; take turns with the kids. So, neither of us makes more parenting decisions - we work together and independently.





We listen to the kids, how they feel, where they're going, what they think, then bring that information into our discussions with each other (and into our individual decisions).
Well I raised my boys alone and while in many ways that put a lot of pressure onto me on the other hand it did mean that I didn't have to have the sort of discussions that I *know* that my parents had after we were (supposed to be!) in bed regarding our upbringing.


My parents always presented a ';united front'; to us - I could give numerous examples but my brothers could never appeal to my Mother when my Father had decided something for them even though they sensed (correctly) that she didn't entirely agree.The same was with me as regards my Father (who did ';favour'; me - and my brothers didn't mind as they were older!) if I wanted to appeal against one of my Mother's decisions.


If your ';compromise and strategy'; are working then well done you (both of you).


When you ask about children's involvement - well when I was growing up our parents' (and in particular my Mother's who was at home most of the time) word was Law and that was that but there were discussions sometimes around the Family table in which we could all have a say.


I had four boys to raise on my own and I must admit that I laid down quite strict rules and that was that but that was due to our Family circumstances - we only had a two bedroomed house for instance so bedtimes had to be rigidly adhered to and they all had to go up at the same time or,later,the elder had to make sure that they crept into the bottom bunks (after the younger were old enough to move into the top ones) quietly after cubs and ,later,get up quietly in order to do their paper rounds without waking the others (or me next door!).


Anyhow it all worked out and I feel that they learnt a sense of responsibility to others but - and I don't apologise for this - I expected my boys to do as I asked without question most of the time from a young age and any discussion could come later and only then if there was time to have it.


There is no blueprint over this to be read in a ';parenting'; book or on the internet - it depends on the individual Family circumstances.


Keep up the good work!


Best wishes,


Joan.
I think being so different, is great as so long as your not fighting over who's right. I personally think since I am the mom and I get the kids all day, that when dad comes home, I should let him be dad. He plays rough at times, and will do some things that make me bit my lip, but I know the kids are enjoying his company, and I think it's best to just let him have his time with them. Same goes with discipline and punishment. I don't think I've ever stepped in when he's made a decision to punish (unless I feel he is misunderstanding, or I know something that may change his mind).





In general we talk about everything openly. If I didn't like something he did, I'll say it, and vice versa. Just not in front of the children. I don't like to let them see us fight. Especially when it comes to discipline. Naturally the kids will side with the parent who is asking for leniency (memories from my childhood, lol)





Talking and compromise is the key to a happy marriage, and journey through parenthood.
We discuss and compromise luckily for the most part we agree on the major ones, its the little things like movies and sleep overs that we have to really talk out.


As our daughter has gotten older and can win an arguement like a seasoned lawyer lol we let her have her two sense in the discussion. Shes 8.
I am a single parent, so the one benefit is that what I decide goes, and I have no one to argue about it with. I think about the 'what-ifs' should I get married one day, and the subject you brought up is one that I get scared about. I am just as curious to find out exactly how I would handle those things with a husband. My parents always seemed to be on the same page with things. I don't remember them disagreeing on how to raise us kids. That's something that I hope to have one day if I have a husband. Right now it's hard to imagine, cuz I'm so used to being the only parent.
i have 3 kids with someone else and 1 with my man now.honestly i make the calls on all 4 and he is the back up
Our son has autism- and I make the parenting decisions- the routines, the patterns, the choices, etc. My husband and I discuss and communicate a lot- but he always says he follows my lead.





With our daughter- who is 13 months old- that is more shared. Do we treat them differently? Nope...but he is doing with her what I did with our son early on and it's working there for her as well. It's sort of hard to explain I guess, but my husband generally follows my lead on things.
First of all, kids can have an opinion, that doesn't mean that they get a vote. Always remember that. The parents only make the decisions. They can base them on whatever they want but kids don't get to vote.





Secondly, it's very important for people to discuss parenting ideas, at least before you have kids and even before you get married. You can't just wing things like this. People have very strong opinions! You can't easily sway each other from one side to the other. If a person seems to be the polar opposite of you, trying to raise kids together will be very difficult.


Once you have kids though, I don't know what you do. The kids are going to see this and know who to go to to get what they want unless mom and dad can back each other 100%.
Im the the supervisor and my significant other is the enforcer. But we are on the same page for the most part in what direction we wanted our kids raised.
Well I don't have any kids, but my parents were great. I have this one little tidbit to pass on: never contradict each other in front of the kids. If your husband issues some form of discipline and you don't agree (or vice versa), wait until after you are alone to discuss, and then make changes to your tactics in private. Contradicting each other in front of your kids will result in a lack of respect for one parent over the other. If my mom thought my dad was too hard on our punishment, they discussed it alone and usually later my groundation period was shortened or I got certain priveledges back, etc. Good luck!

lip chap

What do you do as a parent that goes against the grain of the current parenting trends?

No need to be serious. I like silly, yet honest answers.





Me: I let my daughter rough house with her dad, play with ';boy toys'; and generally be a tom-boy. I basically reject the current trend to make my daughter conform to a very strict ';gender stereotype';. I also chose to go ';old fashion'; and not make my infant use the potty.What do you do as a parent that goes against the grain of the current parenting trends?
i believe children are children who are people. i believe a 3 year old isnt stupid and comprehends things. i give her chores - pick up your toys, put your dishes away, clean up your room. im anti soda. i believe in giving the opportunity to right your wrongs before a discipline action is taken. books are toys. water cakes wont kill anyone.What do you do as a parent that goes against the grain of the current parenting trends?
I expect my children, who are 6 and under, to pitch in and help with chores. Current parenting trends dictate that children are too young to do such things and even up to teenage children, that we need to let them be young and play and never have an ounce of responsibility. My children make their own beds (yes, even the 2-year-old), and they clean up after their own messes (within reason), and they even fold their own laundry (the older two who are 6 and 4). Plus setting the table, clearing the table, helping with the dishes and clearing out the dishwasher, and they even help with the weeding outside. I've been criticized by strangers telling me I'm utilizing slave labor when what I believe I'm doing is teaching my children that life includes hard work and responsibility.
Ha, interesting question! Well, I could say similar with my son! He is 17 months old, he does have plenty of trucks and boys toys as well as unisex toys... but he does also have a pink toy pushchair with a purple doll and a feeding bottle and a teaset, and also a pair of plastic pink barbie shoes that he took a fancy to in a shop! The pushchair and doll is his favourite toy! *waits to be lynched* ;-)





What do you do instead of the potty, if you don't mind me asking? Go straight to the toilet? How does it work? (Just being nosey - I haven't heard of the 'old fashioned' way and am open to new techniques any day!)





Oh and I used to formula feed him, and I didn't (and don't) do CIO, both of which I guess goes against modern trends! Although I know CIO is an old fashioned trend too... it's just been given a new fangled name now as has everything! And he wore and wears disposable nappies as opposed to reusables, which is very much the advice now I hear! Oh and he still has his bedtime bottle and dummy - both of which I'm told he should be off by now!
i believe strongly that kids should have some independence and that we shouldn't be breathing down their necks every second micromanaging their lives. my kids play outside on their own and walk to their friend's houses and have the opportunity to feel bored sometimes and i actually believe all that is doing them a favor.





i also don't think that kids should be driven to do too much too fast, academically or otherwise, and i'm a vocal advocate in my area for things like preserving an option for half-day kindergarten. and i can tell you i'm swimming against the tide.








*most thumbs down by definition wins best answer on this, right?
I let my kids climb on things, jump on the bed, play in the yard alone, and do a lot of things that others would consider ';dangerous.'; I think the current trend in parenting is to be overprotective.





Also, I potty trained my boys at 18 months, whereas it seems the current trend is more like 3-4 years.
I feel I am a pretty normal parent.. I try to let my daughters have as much independence as possible, but still provide a firm set of rules and boundaries. I guess one thing I do that a lot of parents don't is let them have more soda pop than they should, I drink it way more than I should and so do they. Another thing, spanking has declined a lot and I still use that and it has been effective for my girls. Other than that I think I am a pretty normal mom with pretty normal kids
I don't give my 4 yr. old soda, and we eat out more than we should.





Some people get their kids started on sweets and junk drinks way too early, I'm not one of them.





As for fast food, yeah, some weeks we may pick up dinner from Mickey D's more than once. But I also make sure to get her chicken nuggets and either yogurt or apples. So just cuz it's 'fast food', doesn't necessarily mean it's unhealthy.





Also, according to some certain individuals on here, the fact that I formula fed and am not a SAHM are going against current parenting trends.
I think a lot of parents really ';baby'; their kids. You know, if their toddler falls, it's panic %26amp; rubbing %26amp; massaging %26amp; all that but they have no problem leaving them with neighbors or professional nanny. I am very protective of my children. We've never utilized nannies or babysitters unless it was my husbands mother. We are protective in THAT manner but I also teach my kids that they need to learn to pick themselves up if they fall (both metaphorically %26amp; literally). Mommy will always be their to cheer for them %26amp; to help them by supporting them or giving advice but I won't always be around %26amp; when that happens, I believe in them to brush off obstacles %26amp; try again.
I think you're right in there with the current parenting trends. I guess I'd call you typical.





*ETA: I totally read this question wrong. I thought it said ';What do you call a parent that goes against the grain of the cuurent parenting trends?';








What do I do? Let's see, my son plays with toy guns...that's the only thing I can think of right now.
i let my 13 month old son listen to country music and he watchs hannah montanna. people always say they should be listening to little kid music and wtahc little kid shows and he watchs some little kid shows but he doesn't like them as much an a half an hour of hannah montanna isn't going to hurt. as for kid music? he ignores it. country he dances to! i'd much rather see my little boy happy, clapping and bouncing to the music then not even paying attention.
Sort of a serious answer but i know its weird for some parents to accept their kids if they are gay, but I would 100 %. I think people think its weird that I dont care, but i honestly just dont lol doesnt even phase me. I can't say adopting isnt trendy LOL but i still consider it pretty different.
actually what you described goes with current parenting trends


old fashioned parenting has your children play according to gender stereotypes and potty trains children much much earlier then the 'they will when they're ready' current trend.
how would you make an infant use the potty in the first place?





btw, your parenting is modern and with the current trends.
I guess it would be that our kids sometimes call us by our first names, and we don't correct them. Some people consider it disrespectful though, and correct our kids on our behalf !! Then we correct them etc .... lol.

What is a real good parenting book to buy for parenting school age children?

My daughter is turning 6 and I was wondering if there was a good book to help me with the attitudes and her changing behavior and how to handle her moods already!! Thanks.What is a real good parenting book to buy for parenting school age children?
There are a lot of good ones. ';How to Talk So Kids Will Listen %26amp; Listen So Kids Will Talk'; is an excellent one. ';The Key to Your Childs Heart'; is also very very good. James Dobson has written some good books on raising children too, ';The Strong Willed Child'; was pretty good.What is a real good parenting book to buy for parenting school age children?
You don't need a book. What you need is a twelve foot bull whip. That'll keep the little gaffers in line.
Parenting is mostly on the job training. Unfortunately children don't come with an instructional manual. If you have more than one child you will have realized what works with one child may not necessarily work with another.There are lots of books out there but do you have time to look up every issue? Most parenting is commonsense. Trust your gut instincts. The author of a book does not know your child better than you. Think back to your parents, did they check with the ';experts'; to parent you?Did anyone have a grandparent who would trust a book over their own expertice?Just try your best each day.
Parenting with Love and Logic





Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World





The Bible





The 5 Love Languages for Kids


hope these help.
The STEP program (systematic training for effective parenting) was great for me. Yes, there's a book. Worked very well. I know of another site called scream free living. But don't have experience with that one.
the bible
Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi, Amanda Mayer Stinchecum.
I refuse to raise a brat. Mary Lou Henner and her kids doc.
The Five Love Languages of Children


by Gary D. Chapman, Ross Campbell
Try ScreamFREE parenting by Hal Edward Runkel... no it isn't just about yelling at your kids. It is more about how to focus on yourself, so you can focus on what you are doing with your kids. Overall a great book!

Why are people required to take parenting classes before they become a foster parent, but not a blood parent?

Why is it that the law requires people to take parenting classes before they become a foster parent, but..


When a couple is expecting a biological child, the law doesn't require them to take any classes.





That sounds one-sided to me; shouldn't all soon-to-be-parents be held to the same standards?Why are people required to take parenting classes before they become a foster parent, but not a blood parent?
There is a fundamental right to have children (assuming you are biologically able to do so), just as there is a fundamental right to marry. There is no fundamental right to adopt, so reasonable standards and procedures may be implemented by the state.Why are people required to take parenting classes before they become a foster parent, but not a blood parent?
i would just like to start by saying i was a foster child %26amp; now i am working through the steps to become a foster parent. the reasons why we must go through this is bc each child that comes through the state has so many different issues, that we might not understand bc we havent been around them

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I think it would be great if a person had to take a class before they could be a natural parent as well. Their are way too many people walking around calling themselves a ';Parent'; that do no actual parenting. It seems alot of people that are natural parents should be fired from the job.

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Unfortunately this is the case. Civil libertarians would scream if such a concept was proposed, but in truth it is any damn fool who can create a child. Any dull witted drone can become a parent, while the state wants saints only. This is because the state needs some backup to lean on when a child is abused or hurt by a foster parent, so they can say, ';We tried to screen these people before entrusting the child to them....'; Giving them excuses when they do place a child into an abusive situation.





Birth parents however can keep getting pregnant even AFTER they abuse a child. Mandatory sterilization should happen for any man or woman who abuses an innocent child.
i'm assuming u mean adopting parents? apparently only adopting parents can molest their kids. seriously, i agree that it is a double standard but i think the false logic behind it is that they want less people ';pulling a woody allen'; if you will. (people who want to raise their own spouse and marry them. and you can't marry blood relatives). but yeah if you are talking about foster parents, it's usually because sadly, the kids/teens have been abused and the state/whoever doesn't want those being fostered exposed to the same, if not worse, abuse.





on a side note, i think those who have served in the military should take parenting classes. you do not raise a kid the same way you train a soldier. (my dad was in the military) every military parent i have met has always been too strict/overbearing. lots of yelling/verbal abuse. trying to militarize the child rather than parent them.
No because a foster parent is a ';temporary parent'; while a blood parent is a permnant parent. Adoptions rules are more stricter than just having your own kid. Nope unless they abuse their blood child then you have to get a court order for that.
Biology does not stand aside for legalities, unfortunately.





It would be great if there were some kind of lessons, but then you get into the problem of who does the teaching and what gets taught. There are a lot of sticky issues involved.
You can stop the foster parent thing. You can't stop the blood parent thing except through forced abortion.
love is more natural with your own flesh....govt is being careful....not much required to marry either compared to driving..

When are parents going to start parenting again and stop blaming others?

Im so sick of hearing how parents are blaming content providers such as myspace and yahoo for allowing sexual predators to conduct their business. IMHO its the parents faul for not monitoring their children. I would love to hear what others think about this.When are parents going to start parenting again and stop blaming others?
As long as parents (especially mothers) put their careers first and emphasize quality time rather than quantity time, their children are going to be open to preditors. Today's parents seem to think everyone else is responsible for their children rather than them. I see this in the stores everyday where parents let their children run free and then when the child disappears , they panic and through a fit and I as an employee who's job isn't childcare, have to leave my work to spend time looking for their kids and as a result end up having to stay later at work because I have fallen behind in my real job responsibilities. Parents have no idea what their kids are doing nowadays. Children have so little suppervision nowadays , that they can do anything. Mothers need to start puting their children first and their careers last.When are parents going to start parenting again and stop blaming others?
The most important place in the house is the kitchen table. Families that share thoughts, ideas, views and everyday life and support each other never need to worry about all the evil in the world. It's important to stay on top of things everyday. What could posibly be more important than that? Your stupid job? Your car? Nothing is more important than your family.
I totally agree. If the parents cared enough to monitor what thier children do on the internet and who they're talking to (maybe even restirict them from certain sites for thier own saftey) then I believe that there would be nothing happening between their children and sexual predators. Also if parents would talk to their children more on what to look for and be suspicious of and tell them not to give out personal information about themselves I believe that the children would be much safer also because they would be more likely to not give out personal information and things such as that.
i sure as hell hope so
I wasn't going to answer this because as long as people ignore God's rules and desire for His people, they will always look for someone else to blame (it's called pride and lazyness). I guess people forgot that there were problems similar to this since the beginning of time. And that book .... the Bible... can lead you to harmony in you home and life.
Amen brother. I have two teen-agers and I made it known from day one that I will monitor ALL of their on-line activity. They have developed excellent habits as a result and are extremely net savvy.
When parents stay together and love their kids the old fashioned way, loving discipline, high moral standards, will they start parenting again. Dinners or at least one meal together a day is also another alternative. At first it will be difficult to open up your children but once you have established the fact that you are serious about your family unit they will warm up to the idea and then you will be a family and parents will be able to parent again. Parents have to be committed first to family.

Parenting????

WOW i just read a article that gave info on parenting and discipline, apparently negitive reinforcement ect, is demeaning to children, upsets them and kurbs their creativity! wtf??? so now parents are to be their childs friends rather than parents i can see it now ';i don't discipline because it might hurt their feelings'; but on the up side prisons are proving to be nice places!


Anyone elses thoughts on todays parenting???? sorry for the rantParenting????
Yes I see this quite often. Punishments are bad bad bad, demeaning and will hurt your child's feelings/psychological well being. All I have to say to that is horse crap.





I'm not about to not give consequences/punishments to my children when they have merited them because it will ';hurt their feelings';. When my child does something wrong or misbehaves, we call him out on it, we tell him why it is wrong and what the right choice would have been and then we tell him he receives a particular consequence because he chose to disobey. It's called disciplining him and correcting him and it's for his best interest.





I will never not give my child a punishment when it's merited. My child will have discipline, respect, manners and consequences for his actions instilled in him.





To NOT do that will hurt him in the long run. Real life has consequences for every action good or bad. We as parents start teaching that in the home from day one to prepare them to make the good decisions in the real world and avoid making bad decisions.Parenting????
Parenting today is SOO hard! I have 4 children and work full time, so I know the challenges first hand..a great resource that I found was MyLiveCoach. He is an online parenting coach. Check him out. MyLiveCoach@Yahoo.com. It was really helpful for me! Hope it helps!

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i talk to my oldest and will with my little one too. we just sit down and talk it out. i want my kids to know i am here for them. the corner dose come into play some times though.
good old swat on the butt never hurt anyone.
To the first poster - 90% of parents in the U.S. spank their kids so people are spanking and it obviously is not working. There are other ways to discipline without spanking, but I do agree kids need discipline, parent first, friend second.
There are ways to discipline, and there are ways to discipline. It also depends on what the child is being disciplined about. Also, each child is different and you need to learn what works best for each child.





Some children can easily be disciplined by taking something away, while other need to be sternly talked to. Others need to be left in there room for x amount of time to think about what they did.





I also don't believe some person living a different life then you and knows nothing of you situation should be telling you how to raise your children. No matter what a parent does, a child once grown will have some emotional issues from something that parent did.





Not that I believe in ';hitting'; a child, but they need to understand you are the parent not a friend and that you are trying to teach them how to be a good person and get through life.
Most parenting today is disrespectful to children. Believe it or not, most kids want to learn how to behave and fit into society. Many parents, rather than giving their kids information on how to behave, just demand that they do, and tell them what NOT to do rather than what to do.





No negative reinforcement in my house, no shame or blame, no punishments.





Read this website: http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/ A lot is about homeschooling, but it is the best at explaining this parenting school of thought.
as a parent you have to be able to go with the flow and trust that you are making the best choices for you and your family. not everyone will agree with you and if you start to second guess yourself, you will drive yourself crazy. the most important thing is to love your child and accept them for who they are and remember that you only have 18 years to get them ready to face the world!!
I have a 10 and 7 year old (both boys). I think I might have read that same article. I all for warnings (1), teachable moments, and natural consequences. But, there are some points where you just have to discipline. We don't spank, and we do try to make sure they know the consequences up front, but when they break the rules, the consequences have to stick. For example, today my 10 year old was caught in a lie about cheating (two cardinal sins). He is now grounded for 5 days. I think the author of that article would have said for me to sit down and just had a long talk about not lying or cheating. But, doesn't the author know that my 10 year old already knows lying and cheating are wrong??? Eventually, if talking about it doesn't work, something else needs to happen.
I'm with you on this one...if parents would start spanking their kids again...the world would be a better place......
Can you post the article if it was online?





I can't comment on the particular article as I have not read it but on the surface I agree with the message.





It is possible to be positive and supportive and encouraging without ';not disciplining'; as you state. It is not a black or white choice.





I completely agree that all efforts should be made to preserve the child's self esteem. But that does not equal no discipline at all.





If a child needs correcting - by all means correct them, but do it is a positive way that is guiding them to better and more appropriate choices. There is no need to ridicule or hurt their feelings - no great lesson will be learnt.





My 12 year old recently asked me if he could walk down to our local park to meet some friends and I said no.





He questioned me as to why? I responded that I did not feel it was safe, and that I was happy re-think my decision if he could think of a safe way of doing it.





He came back a few minutes later and asked if I was feeling up to it could I perhaps take the other kids to the park for a play and then he could walk there with me and see his friends but I would still be at the playground to watch him.





I said that would be fine. He then asked if at all possible if I could try not to talk to him while we were there! I thought that was cute.





Above is a perfect example of a young man evolving into a mature, responsible person who is willing to respect decisions made and rather than complain and rant and rave, can come up with a solution to the issue.





In my book that is positive parenting where the child has been taught to be assertive not rebellious.
Funny how as I was reading the question, my son dumped my boyfriends soda that he left on the end table, I walked over, smacked him on the butt, and he smacked me in the face. Shows how well spanking teaches.