How much do you think your parenting affects your kids?

everyone knows (i assume) those people that had parents that were not so good but somehow the kids turned out great. the lessons your own parents tried to teach you that you may not have grasped. those people who seem like truly wonderful people and loving parents who had kids that grew up and werent exactly upstanding citizens.


maybe those are the exceptions not the rule, maybe not.





but at the end day do you think its nature or nurture that plays the biggest role in how your kids grow up?How much do you think your parenting affects your kids?
I actually do believe that parenting has a lot to do with it. I don't claim to have the best childhood- but it definitely was not the worst. I was never abused or anything.. but my parents were not educated and they are bigots. Underneath- they loved me, yes.





So.. how do I think I turned out Okay? I think my influence was my sister, who is much older than me and taught me how to behave and respond in social situations.





Honestly, I think if I were to rely solely on the parenting that my parents gave me- I would be a disaster.


Thankfully, I relied on the *parenting* of an amazing sister.





Yea.. I think it matters.How much do you think your parenting affects your kids?
Depends on how much time you spend with your kids. The more time they spend with you compared with anyone else, the higher impact your parenting would be.





Loving parents do not automatically make good parents. You need to be smart and well educated in the art of parenting as well in order to be good. I've seen some loving parents that did what they think was best for their children but unfortunately it was something really bad and they didn't realize it until it was too late. Some loving parents also spoil their children by giving them whatever they want.





So to answer your question, nurture plays the biggest role but nature cannot be tossed aside as insignificant. Nurture can override nature but sometimes it would require so much effort that parents would just give up.
Excellent question. I have worked with hundreds of kids throughout the past 30+ years and would have to say nurture over nature, hands down. The teen years are when the less that ideal upbringings really show up. I have never worked with a troubled teen that didn't have pretty substantial shortcomings in their home life. That surprised me as I thought there would be more exceptions, but there weren't.





I always tell parents that they have so much more power over how their kids grow up than they even realize. Kids may go off the rails a bit in their teen years but they usually land where they're comfortable, i.e., how they grew up.
i think they both play a part. but i think the current trend towards thinking every little thing parents do is going to have some profound impact on their kids is probably wrong. nature does matter quite a bit, and even to the extent that nurture matters, too, it is not just parents who are shaping a child's experiences.





i think we would rather feel important than helpless, so we tend to make ourselves think our parenting matters more than it does.
I think it's a little of both. But I have found that some people are bi-polar and pass it on to their kids. What we were taught growing up, doesn't necessarily work with the world at large when we are grown.


I do know one thing for sure, children mimmick their parents and if you adopt a do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do approach,your kids will have no respect for you at all.
i really don't think that it is the one or the other..i think alot of it hs t do with both....it is an interestng topic though..but i think i would say the ones who were raised by not so great parents and trned into great and wonderful people and vice-versa are really exceptions to the rule..
I think it's a combination of nature and nuture, you can do all you want but there is still that free-will the child has.
Sometimes yeah. I remember when I was little I would act like my parents when disciplining my siblings for doing something wrong xD
Nature, to some extent, but nurture to a much larger extent.
99% That iis how they control and make their life. It is how you teach them that makes who and how they are.
it is an unproven debate. Its most likely a combination of nature and nurture
both
Both.


I know a kid, my son's best friend who is in fact asleep in my living room right now, who has gotten stuck with the two most emotionally and probably somewhat physically neglectful people on earth, and yet he's somehow the sweetest boy. Humble where his parents are arrogant and snobbish; accepting where they're intolerant; full of life where they're dry and unimaginative. Yet even at 11years, I can see some of the problems emerging. He already has trouble controlling his temper (though I did too, LOL, my husband can attest to my temper when I was a tween/teen), and he's so desperate for affection and approval that he'll do nearly anything to please his two friends, even if he doesn't agree with it. I've more than once seen my admittedly wayward and adventurous son lead him into something he's totally against, but does anyway.





I can't see him ever losing that heart of gold that I've seen countless times over the last few years, but at the same time, I know his environment has had a profound effect on him, both positively and negatively.





I don't know which is a bigger influence in general. My husband and I have 6 kids, we've raised them all pretty much the same, and they're definitely 6 very different personalities. But at the same time, they all have certain traits in common too, traits that I don't think are necessarily inborn, that have to be learned, so that would have to be environment.





I had a rather odd childhood. I won't say it was happy, but it wasn't particularly miserable either. My father was and is a tortured soul, but he's (as I've come to realise later in life) also an exceptionally courageous person. He did a lot wrong, he certainly wasn't anyone's dream parent, but he raised me alone and I think he did the best he could, and I know he does love me very much, no matter how it doesn't seem like it sometimes.


I think I turned out the way I did because of him and my schooling, and genetics too. I have a lot of positive and negatives from him. Most of the times he's said anything nice about me in my life were when he was relating how much like my mother I am. She died when I was 2, so I know I didn't get those traits he thinks are so alike from her raising me, so I suppose it must be genetic in some way.
for me, nurture plays the biggest part in one person's life... ones personality as they grow shows more of her life as a kid. family, friends, the environment, greatly affect ones attitude in the future..





the love, care and attention you parents give, may it be more, or less... greatly affect their child. past plays a big role in our lives.





your example perhaps can be use to explain it... the bad parents, affect the child too much that he wanted to grow up a better person to to make sure his kids in the future wont experience the things he did, he's been affected positively... not merely because he's good in nature...





also, the good parents... who have bad kids... maybe too good that they were to loose to their kids... that their kids end up finding bad peers, that influenced them.





good parents can be categorized in many aspects, hard working parents are considered good parents, working hard for their kids future but have less time for them, that also affects the child...





parents affect their child positively and negatively in different aspects... it may be in the child's capability to handle the situations and experiences with their parents as a kid, but whatever path and life they choose for their future is affected by their past as a kid and his life with the people around his as he grows...
I think that when a child's parent is NOT a good parent, the child learns, knows and sees what he/she doesn't want to be like and wants the things he/shes cant or didn't have, which makes them independent and gets it done by him/herself. Maybe in their life as a child they didn't get everything they wanted (spoiled) or they got beat or picked on more than other siblings or maybe the parent didnt care if they went to school or not its little things like that.





On the other hand when a child that is taken good care of, gets everything he/she wants (SPOILED) even if the parents are on their last and cant really afford what the child wants, goes to cheerleading camp or play on a football team and they live in a huge house with a swimming pool and has designer clothes... whatever the case may be... that child already has a silver spoon handed to them and they take advantage and do what they want just cause they can. They never had to work for what they got...





It doesn't always go this way but that's just my opinion.
It's a combination of both nature and nurture. There are kids that are completely neglected to the point they resemble wild animals more than people so they follow nature's rule more and you can see more of an impact of how much nurture and nature take play in examples like that. They do have distinct personalities just as dogs or cats do. And them being so badly neglected does impact their life permanently. Some of these children were found at ages 2,3,4 and some even seven and put into a home where they can hopefully be nurtured into more socially acceptable behavior. Say ten years go by.. it might not be enough to have them socially accepted. It's not just about nature verses nurture.. it's also factor in ages and environmental changes. What if it were reversed? What if they were nurtured in a healthy environment then later severely neglected? Would there be a difference? Would they survive better or worse?