Why do some people consider it to be 'lazy parenting' if you smack your child for misbehaving?

In my opinion, lazy parenting is when the parent just says 'go to your room.' Not only do most kids keep the majority of their toys in their room, so its not much of a punishment, the parent doesn't bother to explain what the kids did wrong.


On the other hand, when you spank them, you can, at the same time, tell them what they did wrong because you are actually physically there and can have a real conversation with them.Why do some people consider it to be 'lazy parenting' if you smack your child for misbehaving?
As far as I'm aware, they see it to be the easiest and quickest way of dealing with a problem and see it as a symptom of not being bothered to use a form of discipline which in their eyes requires more effort.





As Judo points out, there are also a number of spanking parents out there who call on people who use time outs and various other methods *instead* of spanking as being lazy.





It's all pretty silly if you ask me. Any reasonable person can see that different things work for different children, kids aren't replica moulds of one another who'll all respond equally to the same thing.





* It's not the same as a man hitting a woman. When that happens it is as a result of anger and is done with brute force. The fact that the parent is bigger and stronger isn't relevant because the parent doesn't (or certainly shouldn't) use their physical power against the child (and if they do then this is where they get into abuse territory). It's a measured and controlled source of discipline, not an angry hit as it is when a stronger person hits a weaker person out of aggression. That's why one thing is legal and the other isn't. For the record, I don't spank, I don't know if I ever will or not, I'll have to wait and see. But if a tapped bottom is what it takes for a parent to make their child see that running into the road is not a good thing, for example, then I'm all for it.Why do some people consider it to be 'lazy parenting' if you smack your child for misbehaving?
If your only method of direction is smacking a kid, you are really a crappy parent. By the time your kid is 10 or 12, if they do something wrong or something terrible is happening, they will not tell you for fear of being hit. Most people who hit their kids all the time also have unrealistic expectations for children's behavior at different ages.





I support spanking, but only as a last resort. I personally limit it to things that endanger the child or others.
I think it's because it's quicker and takes less effort than other dicsipline methods such as the naughty step, timeout etc... You smack, it hurts, they cry, lesson learned. Whereas with timeout, may involve lots of running around and patience to get the child to actually sit and take the punishment. Not every parent can be bothered with that and woud prefer to just give them a smack and be done with it.





I do find it lazy in a way. It's sad that parents would rather hurt their kids because it's quicker than spend time disciplining them in a way that doesn't involve smacking. I think if an alternative to smacking is available then it should be used, no matter how much time it takes up.





I don't agree with using any kind of violence on children (disguised as 'smacking' or not, it's still violent). But at the end of the day, what works for parent and child may not work for another so... each to their own.





EDIT: It shouldn't even get to the point where a child has to be told more than twice before something get done. That IS lazy.
I don't always think it's lazy but sometimes I do. I feel that good parenting takes more effort than that. Using creative techniques to prevent unwanted behavior takes time and effort. Waiting for the child to misbehave and then smacking them, does not take much effort.





I think if a parent has a good parenting style then it wouldn't come to the point where a child is acting up so much the parent feels the need to smack the child to regain control. To me smacking is harsh and unnecessary. I've raised 4 boys so far without it and at 14, 14, 12 and 9 they are all well behaved respectful boys. It's not easy to discipline without spanking. Of course I have had the urge over the years but i always went another route and found another way to discipline that was not only effective short term but was (I believe) MORE effective long term and that took a lot of thought, planning, and effort on my part so yea that is why I sometimes think smacking is taking the easy way out. (not so much lazy but easy)





here come the thumbs down but just giving my honest opinion.





EDIT: See I disagree with your added details. I only ask my children to do or stop doing something ONCE. If they don't then I take action. Giving them second or third chances to listen IS lazy parenting. It also give the child the message that they don't have to listen the first time they are told because they know mom will say it two or three times before any action is taken so they learn to test more and more. You have to take action right away to let the child know they need to listen the first time you say it.
i don't think it's ';lazy';, but i don't agree with smacking because it serves no purpose. it is much more effective to tell a child why they are not allowed to do soemthing or if the child has done something they knew they weren't supposed to, i find it much more effective to ask them why they did it anyway and then give a punishment like a day grounded or no Computer or Nintendo DS for a day. even with small children it is better to tell them why something is dangerous than to smack them without explaination.


i think parents only smack when they at their wits end or they lose their temper in the heat of the moment and most probably regret having smacked their child after they have done it.
If by smack you mean spank and spank only. If you do not mean slap, punch, pock, shove, choke, beat, etc. OK, spanking is far from lazy parenting, I don't know where you people get this stuff, a proper spanking involves a considerable investment in time, energy and thought. A spanking is beneficial both immediately and long term. And by that I mean beneficial for the child.
Every kid misbehaves once in a while...if you smack them they might feel really bad about it. They might feel guilty and like they did something very wrong. That's why it can be good to explain things instead.





Sometimes the kid may have not done anything. For instance, if two sibling are talking and then one starts crying and saying ';___is being mean to me!'; you don't just smack that kid because you assume they were mean to the other one. Siblings will lie. If you talk to the kids, even if you may not know which one is telling the truth, you can tell them that they both need to be nice and then just let them off with a warning. This is better than smacking one kid when it may be the kid who didn't do anything.





Hitting a kid could make them mad and even cause them to develop a hate for you. They might hit back. They will get angry that you have authority and can hit them even if they don't feel they deserve it.


Even if smacking does leave a bigger impression on the kid, it could be a bad impression. I mean, kids learn a lot from you. Sometimes parents are a kid's role models. You don't want your kids thinking it's good to hit little kids. Or thinking it's good to take advantage of your authority by causing physical harm.








About your additional details... that is different, if the kid has already been told not to do something two or more times.


But I still think that hitting a kid will make them get more mad at you than just giving them a time out, sending them to their room, taking something away, having a talk with them, etc.





I know if I was a little kid I would get really p'd off if my parents hit me. I would be so mad and not want to talk to them.......lol.


But I wouldn't obey just because they smacked me. I would rebel against them, and maybe even make a plan to misbehave more to see if they could stand constantly hitting me.














Sorry this was so long, lol.
';Most parents who I know who smack their kids only use this form of punishment if their child has been asked not to do something at least twice...';





Yeah, and we all see these people in the supermarket, mall, fair, etc, all the time. Grumpy Mom or Angry Dad saying ';Put that [whatever] down NOW,'; because pausing for ninety seconds to let the kid check it out and then nicely asking him to move along would be _such_ a drain on their valuable time. Tired and Hungry Kid doesn't snap to listen because Tired and Hungry Kid is tired and hungry, and then there's a ';I said NOW,'; and then the kid gets hit.





It's more _stupid_ than lazy, really... Discipline = teaching. Hitting is not teaching. Plus there is just no need for these petty reward/punishment//revenge scenarios some parents get into. Parents are a little too quick to fight with their kids instead of parenting them, and that is lazy.
It is very easy to smack your kids and make them fear misbehaving and it is much harder to TEACH them how to act properly.





You smack the kid, they think if I misbehave then i'll get smacked, I don't want to get smacked so I won't misbehave.





You TEACH the kid how to act properly and they think to themselves well that's stupid and immature why would I do that.








Spanking never worked for me. I never thought oh I just did something wrong, I was just left fuming mad and in pain.


When my mom would talk to me tell what was right and what was wrong and she would have discussions with me and I would think twice about doing something or I would feel guilty/uncomfortable in situation and would think oh this isn't right and I would get myself out of that situation.





So that's just my personal experience. I don't plan on spanking. Maybe a few swats but NEVER like my mom did.
I think ';lazy parenting'; is when you allow your children to do and say as they please. If you take the time to explain your child what is right and what is wrong and back up your explanation with smacks on the bum if the child chooses not to listen - that is good parenting in my book.
I think it's because the parent didn't take the time to explain and find other ways of disciplining.


Conversely, believe it or not, many parent who spank also feel that not spanking is lazy.


The whole subject is too controversial for my taste.
I'm afraid we as parents are too intelligent to smack as a result our daughter is also very smart %26amp; Knows right from wrong.We treat her with respect and explain things to her so she gives us respect back.





Yes if we were not very good at parenting then we would either let her run wild or smack her - luckily we have it sussed!
Because hitting a child is not for the benefit of the child, but for the parent. You hit when you're not smart enough or patient enough to think of anything else to do.





How can a parent ever be truly trusted by a child when they hit them?
Because violence is the resort of the weak minded. I don't smack my kids...nor will I ever...I was smacked...it's humiliating and it makes them resentful. Explaining why something is bad takes more time and effort than lashing out....THAT'S WHY!
Because it takes a lot more energy to figure out what the actually issue is and then address it so it wont be an issue anymore.


Give the man a fish he eats for today, teach him to fish, he eats forever.
it's not lazy it's just violent. an adult is bigger and stronger then a child and it's not fair how would a woman feel if smacked by a man? same difference.
it is not teaching it's using force to get them in line they are not learning what is proper they are just getting smacked around....that is lazy.
because the child doesn't know what its done wrong and all you do is hit Him/her its child abuse!!!!!!!!!!