Do you believe babysitting a child is the same as parenting a child?

Do people honestly believe that babysitting children gives them the experience of being parents and the capability to fully appreciate what parents go through enough to advise them on what they should or should not be doing?Do you believe babysitting a child is the same as parenting a child?
well it depends. Before having children I worked in several daycare centers and preschools and was a nanny for several families, live in and live out. I also had schooling in early childhood education and child development. I had a lot of experience with kids, maybe not as a parent myself but I do feel that someone with that much experience working with many children of all ages does have the knowledge to give advice. As far as fully appreciating what a parent goes through, probably not but advice sure.





When I was working at a nanny I often had parents ask me for advice about certain things and they often took my advice and got good results. I do think though, that before having kids of your own everything is easier said than done LOL I mean it's easy to know what the best thing to do is, it's harder to do it as the parent sometimes. Know what I mean?





But all in all I do think people who have experience as a ';babysitter'; (although I'm not talking about a teenage babysitter, I'm talking about someone who has made a carreer out of caring for many children), can offer good advice and know what they are talking about. They may not be able to relate as well to the personal feelings of being a parent but they certainly can sometimes know what would be best. Often parents are blinded by their own parental feelings and advice from an educated, experienced outsider who isn't emotionaly attached to the situation can be just what will make them see what's best. As a childcare provider I often spent more time with someone's child than they did. So I think it's off base to say I wouldn't have anything to offer those parents from my own experiences.





Now I have 4 children of my own and I do feel that all the experience I had working with so many kids before having my own made me a better parent (not better than other parents, I just mean a better parent than I might have been otherwise).Do you believe babysitting a child is the same as parenting a child?
Well, there's babysitting and then there's babysitting. If you mean someone who looks after children on the occasional parents night out, then of course not. But if you mean someone who takes care of a child at least 40 hours a week, well, maybe. Still, even the occasional babysitter sees things that the parents might not. Sometimes we, as parents, can't see the forest for the trees. If my babysitter said something to me, I don't think I would get on my high horse and dismiss it out of hand. I examine the possibility that she was on to something.
Parenting is the hardest job there is and there's no instruction manaul.


While babysitting can give some experience in parenting, it by no means makes one an expert in parenting. At best babysitting could give insight to an individuals' character traits, and help in the handling of that particular individual.
No, it's not the same at all. A babysitter only makes important decisions in an absolute emergency - hopefully he/she will never have to make any at all. A parent has to make such decisions all the time.





I think someone who has been a babysitter has more experience of what it's like to be a parent than someone who has never babysat, and may well have some good ideas in specific areas (for instance they may have lots of experience on how to comfort a kid who is missing mummy and is normally breastfed to sleep). But I don't think they can possibly understand what it's like to always be the one responsible, day in day out, and never get to walk away and go home.
It truly depends on the situation. I was a nanny for 7 years for 2 different families. One family I started when their daughter was 2 weeks old. They were almost nonexistant in most of her life. They would travel for weeks at a time and I would be the one with her. I was there for her first everything, good and bad. I ended up going to work for another family as a live in and went to part time with this family when she was 4 (I felt it was unfair to her and she needed them to be more of a part of her life and they now are). The new family I was with had 4 year old twins and I was a part of their day to day lives for 3 years.





Now, I baby sat when I was younger and definately dont think those little 2 hour jobs is the same as parenting.
Nope, not at all. Baby sitting can give you an small peek at what it's like to parent a child because for a short while you are the caregiver. BUT, it's vastly different when you have children of your own that you parent day in and day out. When you baby sit, you give back the children at the end of the night and they are most always told to be on their best behavior for you. When you are a parent, you have your children for better or worse and you love them no matter what and they are not always on their best behavior for you, lol.





Can it help to baby sit? I think so. But it doesn't hold a candle to having children of your own.
Of course it isn't the same - but just because it isn't the same doesn't mean that people can't have good ideas. There are a lot of things that I know nothing about but by being a logical human being I can glean some insight into them. I am not a doctor, yet I know when to take aspirin. I am not a mechanic, but I do know the basics of keeping my car running well. I had only used a computer for a few months before I started working on them 10 years ago - and found that I just had a knack for it with no experience or training. I know how teenagers work because I was one and had a lot of teenage friends and as an adult I can look back to my teenage years and theirs and logically see how our parents decisions effected us.





Have you ever tried to give advice to someone who lost a child without going through it yourself? Because you felt bad about what they were going through? Have you tried to give parenting advice even though you didn't have their child, but you had a child? It's the same thing. Personally, I think that people who are closed off to ideas are people who have made up their minds on certain things - and there's nothing wrong with that. The question is, do you need an excuse for not listening to the advice non parents are giving you? Be it the ';They aren't a parent so they don't understand'; or the ';My mother in law is just the worst with advice - it's so outdated'; or can you just say that the advice given just doesn't work for you and accept that it might work for someone else?
yes it can. I babysat 2 children who were 2 months and 2 years old. I took care of them from 7am-6pm 6 days a week. I had the kids more than their parents. I used all those skills I had from taking care of them to raise my own kids.


I cared and loved those kids as if they were my own.





Very interesting the thumbs downs. I guess people must have had different experiences to mine becuase I have 9 year old twins now and would have to say it was even easier to raise them than it was these other 2 children. I may have had a different relationship with these children than other people did babysitting. I am the one who looked after this older child while mum gave birth and she stayed with me for a couple of days, this is the mum that was there at the birth of my own children. I was very attached to these kids. I was the one that dealt with the temper tantrums, the sibling rivalry, the sicknesses, The trips to kinder and back, being on duty at kinder. If my children were being cared for by someone I would hope they built the same relationship with their career that i had with these kids. I was the one that read to them everyday, taught them to write their name, dried their tears and joined in with their laughter. I think it is sad that all these people that gave me thumbs down do not think there kids have that type of relationship with anyone other than them. This mother of these kids was estatic that her children had such a close relationship with me and thought of me as their second mum. As a mum now I can say I fealt the same way for those kids as I do my own. Maybe I am more caring than their babysitters. I was not in it for the money, I cared and loved those children
Not at all. A babysitter couldn't adopt my sixth sense or intuition. They wouldn't take the same bullet I would, or sacrifice that last piece of cake without a blink.





That doesn't mean I don't appreciate a great babysitter, take them for granted, or sneer at what they do. They're not a dime a dozen and a great one is hard to find. But the comparison of committment is apples to oranges.
Not to the extreme as a real parent but 3rd person point of view does come into effect.


A parent might be too concious of their problems and not see the bigger picture that someone outside the family could. Why else do we go to counselling and therapy. they can help point out issues and problems that we as parents might not see.


Don't forget kids acts differently most of the time especially when the parents aren't around
no i think it gives you a little taster of what its like to be a parent but mostly you are getting the best times you get to play with them or tuck them in to bed. you dont have any of the responsibility. and you most certainly do not have the experience to advise the parents on what they should be doing!!!!!!
LOL! Of course it's not. Oh, the poor souls who wholeheartedly believe that parenting is just an extended babysitting job - they're in for a rude awakening! I babysat and worked with children for years before I had my own. It's a completely new ball game.
of course not, unless you're like a full time nanny and the parents are rarely around. otherwise it's just a few hours and you can go back to your carefree childless life.
Absolutely not. I have my child day in and day out. I would be insulted if my sitter tried to advise on my parenting skills.
No. Babysitting is a part time job, parenting is a full time labour of love.
No of course not i expect them to have a little understanding but unless you look after a child 24/7 then no one has any idea what its really like to raise a child day and night
I hope not, that is ridiculous!

Is Liberalism anything more than an extended step of Gov parenting?

Same token, Is Conservatism just an extension of individualism?





Which can live without the other?Is Liberalism anything more than an extended step of Gov parenting?
Not a bad analysis.





Star for you.





(Personally, I would have compared liberalism to dysfunctional parenting by alcoholics, but that's just me.)Is Liberalism anything more than an extended step of Gov parenting?
liberalism is more of abortion-ism,conservatism is more parenting...
Nope just a bunch of turd skin loving socialists!

glitter eyeshadow

Where can I buy a robotic baby used to practice parenting?

Like the ones given in Child Care classes in high schools, or better yet, like the ones in the movie License to Wed (see clips on YouTube)...Where can I buy a robotic baby used to practice parenting?
Those things are like 500- 1000 dollors.Where can I buy a robotic baby used to practice parenting?
Did you lose your homework?
Those babies are very expensive. They have some babies out there for kids that kind of resemble the way a baby acts. Check those out before shelling out so much money.
You can find them through a program called ';Baby Think it Over.'; It鈥檚 fairly expensive, over $400 for each baby, computer system, baby necessities鈥ou can learn more about the program and where to purchase everything here http://www.realityworks.com/products.htm鈥?/a>
Don't know about the robotic babies but if you get a puppy, you will get lots of practice.You can get one at your local animal shelter. Get a 6 or 7 week old one. Get one that will fit your lifestyle.Make sure you want to bother with a pup though because they require a lot of love and attention.They also cost quiet a bit to raise one properly. Good Luck.
Look it up on the internet or ask a high school teacher they should have one handy

Where can I buy a robotic baby used to practice parenting?

Like the ones given in Child Care classes in high schools, or better yet, like the ones in the movie License to Wed (see clips on YouTube)...Where can I buy a robotic baby used to practice parenting?
Those things are like 500- 1000 dollors.Where can I buy a robotic baby used to practice parenting?
Did you lose your homework?
Those babies are very expensive. They have some babies out there for kids that kind of resemble the way a baby acts. Check those out before shelling out so much money.
You can find them through a program called ';Baby Think it Over.'; It鈥檚 fairly expensive, over $400 for each baby, computer system, baby necessities鈥ou can learn more about the program and where to purchase everything here http://www.realityworks.com/products.htm鈥?/a>
Don't know about the robotic babies but if you get a puppy, you will get lots of practice.You can get one at your local animal shelter. Get a 6 or 7 week old one. Get one that will fit your lifestyle.Make sure you want to bother with a pup though because they require a lot of love and attention.They also cost quiet a bit to raise one properly. Good Luck.
Look it up on the internet or ask a high school teacher they should have one handy

What are 3 web address' that are geared toward single parenting?

http://www.parentswithoutpartners.org/





http://www.parentsworld.com/index.php?na鈥?/a>





http://www.singleparents.org/sites.htmlWhat are 3 web address' that are geared toward single parenting?
For men, How about Singledad.com or Fatherhood.org


For women, how about Singlemom.com and IVillage

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What are 3 web address' that are geared toward single parenting?
I don't get your question. Can you please elaborate?





www.singleparentsnetwork.com





www.singleparents.org





www.singleparentsonline.net





Sorry, I guess the question wasn't that hard... My brain must have not been working very well yesterday afternoon. :)
You should try this resource site: http://www.spiffybaby.com/resources


They usually have some references and helpful hints.

What to do when you and your husband differ on parenting styles?

My husband and I agree on most everything on a lot of subjects, but parenting is one that we have a hard time agreeing on. My husband was also deployed for the first several months of my son's life, so it was mainly me doing the parenting. I'll give an example. My 15 month old son was given greenbeans. He took one bite and decided he didn't care for them. My husband flew off the handle and got up %26amp; put them back in his mouth telling him he will eat every last one of those veggies until they were gone. My thought is that as long as he tried it and doesn't throw them or say ';eww gross'; I don't mind if he doesn't finish that vegetable. My husband say's no way no how he will be spoiled and a picky eater. Today my son was trying to get to something that wasn't his and my husband put him on the other side of the room. That's fine and I agree. But 30 min. later my son was still not allowed to play on the other side of the room even when the temptation had been removed! What to do?What to do when you and your husband differ on parenting styles?
Like others have already suggested, you and your husband need to sit down and discuss discpline measures when the child is not around. Make a list of possible things a child can do, run in the house, say ';dada';, give a hug, touch the stove, not eat his veggies, put his hand in the toilet, just a list of so many things bad, good, and passive. You each should write down or say how you would respond to the situation. Then make comprimises between both of your responses. Remember a child needs both positive and negative discplines in his life.





If he doesn't see the point or still pushes too hard on your little one, you can suggest some sort of parenting group. In my area, there is a daddy boot camp that teaches men who want to be positive role models for their children these kinds of things. Most usually associate these kinds of things with men who won't be living with their children, but it is designed for all men.





And a book is a great suggestion as well! Just a general parenting book concerning the age group your child is in, usually they discuss problems you will face like not wanting to try new things. (I remember reading it takes a child seeing something new 10 times before he will eat it)





Good luck!What to do when you and your husband differ on parenting styles?
You have to communicate with him. Not in the heat of the moment but before it happens. I am going through a similar situation with my husband. He, too, was deployed for a year. Our 2 1/2 year old son got used to my standards and then daddy came home trying to change them, or so it seemed. It was enough stress for him having to deal with the changes of daddy being back home, he didn't need the additional confusion. You two really have to talk this over and if you can't compromise on discipline, etc, you should see a counselor.
Talk with your husband and tell him that while you agree that he should be punished the length of time is excessive for his age. Your husband may need to be reminded that the child is not even 2 years old. Children are meant to be children not men in the military. They will misbehave and they will test the waters but over-punishment will lead to resentment later in life. Sit down and try to come up with punishments that you both can agree upon. Such as time out, taking a toy away etc. Set the guidelines now so you don't have any surprises between the two of you.





Regarding eating, it can take up to 10 attempts of introducing a new food to children. This is why so many parents give up on kids when they don't like something, they don't give him enough attempts to get used to the food. (This is something every nutritionist will explain to you when a child needs food therapy. The therapy is generally for children who have had stomach or intestinal problems that need to learn to eat solid foods later than most children. The great thing is, this therapy works for every kid.) Food, colors, textures as well as tastes need to be developed in every human. Try reminding him of a time when he refused to eat something as a child but now enjoys this food. Also, everyone has food that they do not like. It is a rule for a new food in our house with our daughter that she must take a no thank you bite each time it is in front of her. We understand that she may not like everything but she must give it a real attempt.





Good luck
Tell your husband to calm down. He is being way too harsh. As far as the veggies go, if he really wants him to eat them instead of forcing them on the child say just one bite. And hopefully your son will take one bite. Than say ';just one more bite'. That's how my MIL got my kids to eat what they didn't want to. Good luck and stick to your principles. If you don't agree with something your husband is doing try to work out a compromise you can both agree on.
Your husband is being a little too harsh on your son. I would totally agree with him if your son was not listening and kept going over there anyway. That is different. But, if he already realized he can't have it and is not going back to it, then there's no need for further punishment.





My husband used to get a little too harsh on our daughter sometimes and it was getting to me. So, I wrote him a letter. I've always found that my true feelings come out better in writing and you get your point across without arguments or interruptions. He read my letter and came to me when he was ready to talk about it. He said that he didn't really agree, but he will be more cautious as to how he is with her. Well, to be honest, I've never noticed any harshness since then.
You said your husband was deployed for the first several months of your son's life... I would think that might have something to do with it. I've heard of instances where it's hard for a parent who's been away for so long to come back into the family setting. One parent is used to doing it all (that would be you) and the other feels kind of left out. Maybe he is over compensating for those missed months. Let him know that you do need him to help but you must both agree on things or the child will sense this weakness and learn to manipulate one parent against the other.





I don't think your child will be a picky eater because he doesn't want to eat green beans. I gave my daughter fish the first time and she wouldn't touch it, the next time she loved it and asked for more, then the next time she hated it again. It's all part of the process of tasting things.





My husband went a little overboard of the discipline one time but I stood behind him because I want my daughter to know that she can't get in trouble with daddy and come running to me to get her out of the situation. You just need to have a talk and agree to the boundaries when it comes to discipline and other major parenting issues.
First of all your husband needs to realize your son is 15 months old, not an adult in the military. He is being WAY to hard on him. Kids learn through trial and error, and sometimes it takes 30 or 40 times for them to stop doing it. You need to get him some books and see if he will read them, of what should be expected of a child at what age. I agree with you on all your issues. It sounds like he is simply trying to control your child instead of teaching and understanding. And he is also setting a very bad example blowing up about everything, your son may start to mimic that when he is angry. He just has very high expectations for someone who has not had enough time to even learn the proper behavior yet, he is still a baby!


Patience and understanding is what your husband needs to learn about being a father, its not just about obeying.
WOW. Your son is too young for discipline like that! A 15 month old is not going to remember 30 minutes later why they were punished! And as for food - it can take 10-15 tries before a toddler is willing to eat a new food. Your husband is going to turn him into a picky eater by forcing him to eat what her does not like. Your son at least tried the food! (Spoiled would be making a separate meal for your child rather than having him choose from the food you have cooked for everyone).


You need to sit down and have a serious talk about how you plan to raise him. You and your husband need to decide together (without the child around) what each of you expects, and how you can make it work for both of you. You should also have your husband read a parenting book that encourages positive discipline, not military action!
You are going to have to compromise. Do not argue about the childs punishment in front ofthe child. The two of you need to sit down one day while your son is NOT around and talk about rules. What the two of you see and how things can be handled on certain things. It will confuse the child if you say one thing and daddy says something else. There are certain situtations that can be resolved fairly quickly. If you know your son does not like green beans then do not cook them. Cook something else until he finds a veggie he likes. When preparing his plate only give him a little bit of veggies so he isn't sitting there with a ton of veggies that your husband is 'forcing' him to eat. As a kid I never liked peas. My grandfather made me eat them. Till this day I still dont like peas. If someone doesn't like to eat something. Forcing them will not make it any better.





Your husband needs to be careful at the way he handles your son. There is nothing wrong with displine and you want your child to know you mean business, but you also don't want your child to rebel.





Good luck!!
maybe you need to sit down with your husband and let him hear you out... without any talk back from him until your done.


NO INTERUPPTIONS.! then let him say all he wants after you. NO INTERUPTIONS.! then keep doing that until you come to a ';middle path';.a compromise of parenting techniques that offer love and patience above all. first of all explain that your sons very young, but he doesnt deserve to be yelled at. ask your husband how he would feel, if he was forced to eat something he really detested. help your husband understand that kindness and love is above all with the little ones in the home. let the yelling and control stuff be left outside the home for the military. thank him in advance for listening to you. remember, your son is learning early to make decisions for himself. best wishes.
Wow...sounds like your hubby is a hard assss! I would agree w/ you both situations! Just politly let your hubby know that you dont want a dictatorship in your household.....just let him know that a 15 month old still does not understand fully what is going on and if he doesnt like something then he wont eat it and maybe in a week or more you can try it again and he may like them! Also w/ him still not letting him do something after 30 min...that is crazy...everything I have read suggest that babies dont really have that long of a memory....just let him know that 1-2 min is good for time out for a 15 month old!





Plus a 15 month explores everything (I have one) so letting him do something or not do something is just a learning process and should not be gone about harshly...they are still learning everything!

What sort of parenting article would you want to read about?

I am writing an article on parenting for my course. What sort of article on parenting would most interest you??please give reasons.thanks.What sort of parenting article would you want to read about?
';Teen pregnancy'; and how to avoid it or how to confront it, without regrets.

Why do people blame mass media for a lack of parenting?

I am starting to hear a lot about how Hollywood's lack of morales is corrupting the youth, is this true? Shouldnt parent be held responsible for thier childs actions?Why do people blame mass media for a lack of parenting?
Because parents are too busy with their careers and social lives and do not want to spend the time or put the effort into raising their children. They want everyone else to do it for them, and they want to blame everyone else when something goes wrong.Why do people blame mass media for a lack of parenting?
Of course parents are responsible. If they feel that any media is harmful, they shouldn't let their children watch/listen/play/whatever.
Right wing propaganda. They have to figure out more ways to discredit the media because they know they are wrong and they don't want people to believe the truth..
parents are responsible for their childrens actions. tv is a major influence on children and it is up to the parents to tell their kids what is right, what is acceptable, and what is ok
Yes parents should be held responsible. TV programs and movies have ratings for a reason, TV's come with parent controls, so do computers and video game systems. It is a parents responsibility to know where thier kids are at and what they are doing.

glitter eyeshadow

Before having kids, what did you look forward to about parenting?

I always waned to be able to make my kids lunch for school and write dorky notes on their napkins. (Now I do and I LOVE it!) What did you always want to do with your kids?Before having kids, what did you look forward to about parenting?
I can't believe dit wants to pick his kids up by the skull. Creepy.





I was excited for the sleepless nights, the 8 month separation anxiety and not being able to have sex with my husband, who leaves for Afghanistan in a few days. Ain't motherhood grand?Before having kids, what did you look forward to about parenting?
the thing I looked forward to the most was just being a parent. having the responsibility of someone else, taking care of them, teaching them watching them grow being pregnant. it's all the best thing to me. I have a 3 1/2 year old and I'm pregnant now and I think it's the best thing. I love playing with my daughter no matter what it is.
i look forward to playing with my children..im pregnant now and i can't wait to get to talk to my baby and hear the baby talk back out me lol..then i can't wait to crawl around with it when it gets to that stage and slide down the slide at the park with my child..





and when it gets older i wanna play sports and help my child do whatever it is they love doing..





im looking forward to spending time with my children and showing them the fun in things and that mommy like to play on thier level with them
I always looked forward to having dinner with my kids. eight years in college and living alone, had a lot of lonely meals lol. So I always wanted to have the big family dinner like I did with my siblings and parents when I was younger. Now I love coming home to my two daughters and my wife with our third daughter on the way.
I always imagined putting them to bed. I grew up in a lonely household as an only child with an ill mother and a reserved father and I was never cuddled to sleep.


Now I love bathing my four kids and reading them a story and rocking them to sleep.
Going to the movies, shopping, checking out boyzzzz ( harmless of course )





My baby is only 1 but someday.... ( =
Having a child that is an extension of myself and teaching them to be just like me, I know totally egocentric but i'm just being honest.





Now that I am a parent I love it more then words
I'm due to be a Mommy in June and I can't wait until I hear the word ';Mommy'; come out of my little girls mouth!!!!!
Throwing my kids into swimming pools and tickling them into oblivion. Life is grand.
Getting really fat with an excuse and sending my hubby out on midnight DQ runs.
Actually I never wanted children. I did want to see what the combo of me and my husband would look like though... :-)
Preparing meals for d kids.. picking dem up to their skul.. Giving dem d freed0m..!

How come I rarely see the top contributor from the parenting section?

How can someone be the ';top contributor'; if they almost never contribute?How come I rarely see the top contributor from the parenting section?
Per her profile she was an insomniac who got her sleep issues fixed and spends less time on here now. I don't know how you get to 46,000 points or whatever she had, but I don't have enough time to do it. How come I rarely see the top contributor from the parenting section?
I guess your talking about Old School Mom, she used to be here a lot when I first came like 2 years ago. She was in my contacts and we talked a couple times on email. I don't know what happened to her I was wondering this the other day lol





I had top contributor before and its because I answered tons in only Parenting and got a lot of best answers. I wanted it so bad and then I got it, moved and wasn't on a while and lost it. So if I get it back good, if not thats okay too... I feel the regulars know who I am and if they like my answers they'll see me =)
She probably had a time where she answered a ton of questions. Some of the may have went to voting, so it seems likes she's getting BA on a regular basis. If you don't get BA's for about 2 weeks, it goes away. Top Contributor is percentage based, how many best answers you have in a specific category in a set time.





It's that way in most sections. If you go to Rock and Pop, the top answerer is somewhat of an urban legend. People say he exists, but not many have actually seen him.
I read the top answerer's profile, too. It made sense that she couldn't sleep, hence the 40 some thousand posts! lol


I do not know how anyone can break that title, really.


I get my badge taken if I log off for a week, then sometimes it comes back. I don't know.


I also think it depends on the amount of top contributors in a certain section. I got my Christmas badge within 2 weeks, but it took me about 4 months to get my parenting badge, at first.
Hi, how are you doing? I'm here, I'm not a myth!


Just so you know, I've never had an orange bar, though :( - so lucky you!


Part of it is that I've been on YA since a few weeks after it started, so I'm a long-timer. The points just add up!


I just share what I can, when I can - when I feel I have something to share, to add, to advise....


I think there are just so many questions on each of these sections that we just can't notice everyone all the time.


(And it's nothing nefarious that my answers are set to private - it's because I've had two stalkers on here, and that's no fun to go through!)


I do wish YA would change their system though - I get tired of seeing my face at the top of some of the pages, lol! Plus, I don't need the points, either - would be happy to donate them!


And, yes, the insomnia is ongoing - I'm usually on here around 4 a.m. when I don't really feel like doing much else, and the family is obviously still asleep. I don't take away time from the family to be on here, or anything like that... I'm also a fast reader and typist, so I tend to go through a big volume of questions.


Hope your day is happy!
I don't know either, but I want one! When I first started this I started in weddings and I got one after just a few weeks, but after my wedding I moved to parenting and it went away and I have never had it sense! And that sucks bc I swear I practically live in this section!
*shrug* Who knows? I don't even know how you qualify to be a ';top contributor';. I see so many people on here ALL the time that I think should be a top contributor, but they aren't. I WANT MY LITTLE ORANGE TITLE TOO! lol
Because she has the most Best Answers and no matter how long one is here, they wont be able to catch up for a long long time.
Stole my badge they did. **Sobs quietly in the corner**





I am bothered by this, I want my badge back. It made me feel special.
I see so many top contributor badges I can't even keep up. I want one though. :) but I don't know how I get one.
HERE I AM!!!
Why would it bother you??? There are more things in life to be concerned about than who or why gets top contributor.

What is the most odd piece of advice regarding parenting someone of another generation has given to you?

I think mine is quite common: Whenever I tell someone who is 70+ about my daughter teething they tell me to either rub whisky on her gums or put rum in her bottle! That was obviously quite a common way to alleviate pains 50+ years ago. Has anyone else received odd advice that is quite funny from a member of an older generation?What is the most odd piece of advice regarding parenting someone of another generation has given to you?
This man I know has a teenage daughter who is fat and he told us that we need to keep a tight belt around our baby's belly so she doesn't get fat and that he wishes he had done that with his daughter so she would be thin.





Wtf?What is the most odd piece of advice regarding parenting someone of another generation has given to you?
My grandmother used to tell me the whiskey one (which was really funny because my grandmother is an avid non-drinker). I've also heard:





- Never take an infant outside without a blanket covering its face (even in the summer) because the wind will suck the air out of them. *hmm....wonder how that one works?*





- Wearing shoes or using a baby walker will insure that your child walks sooner.





- Never allow your cat around your baby because it will steal air from the baby's mouth. *physically impossible*





- Tickling a baby too much will cause him/her to stutter when they get older.





Oh yeah...and this little gem:





- Never let a baby under one see its own reflection because it will take it's soul.
I've heard that too! This one is just plain gross! My grandma has a friend at a nursing home that she visits a lot well when my first daughter was teething she told me to give her chicken bones to naw on and she as far as taking everychicken bone from EVERY residents plate and really brought them too me to give to my daughter!





Ewwww- I was suppose to give my baby a bunch of elder people I didn't know their bones to chew on!!! Some still had chicken on them!
we live in asia where superstitions abound! specially in child care.





there's trim your baby's eyelashes so they would grow longer.





to stop a baby's hiccups, a piece of thread must be rolled up and placed on his chest.





a baby must be breastfed or he will never grow up loving his own mother.





and my personal fave!


when a baby starts to cry when greeted by a stranger, the stranger has to smear his own spit on the child's forehead to counter the 'curse'.





i never followed any of this. and i am well-hated in our community. :P
I was given a baby shower shortly after my daughter was born. One of the elderly ladies there told me ';your troubles are just beginning. Just wait until she is a teenager';.
My MIL told me to put hot chocolate on my baby's last bottle of the day - to make her sleep longer...


Great idea, give them sugar to make them sleep.


btw, she was about 8 weeks when she first started suggesting this.
Never clip your baby's nails until they are a year old. You have to bite them off or the baby will grow up to be a thief.
that babies need to cry to develop their lungs


Babies need orange juice for the vitamin C
Let them have a little fun in their teen years. Meaning sex.
if you always have socks on ur babies feet it wont have colic





BUT it has worked for me lol
it was about teenage acne . to use a baby's diaper with urine and cleanse face . gross

Why is the Adolescent section in with Pregnancy and Parenting?

Shouldn't it just be it's own section, with it's own topics?Why is the Adolescent section in with Pregnancy and Parenting?
The adolescent section is actually supposed to be for parents of adolescents. The teens hijacked it and sit back telling us that we are wrong and have no idea what we are talking about. It's funny actually, as they all just prove our point that some teenagers have their heads shoved so far up their backends that they haven't seen light for years.





Do you miss being a teen? I don't, especially after sampling their wisdom on here. I was ten times worse then any of them, god I must have been freaking insufferable.Why is the Adolescent section in with Pregnancy and Parenting?
i think it was originally intended for parents of teens to ask questions adn get advice from other parents, but it got overrun by real teens!
I wondered the same thing
yes it should i think the teens overtook it
Because it's pregnancy and parenting. People have adolescents just like they have toddlers and babies.
It is supposed to be for the parents of adolescents to ask questions....just like the grade school-er and toddler section. The Adolescents out there figured that this was a place for them to hang and ask their questions hence why it is out of a hang out for them then a place for parents to inquire about their kids.
No it shouldn't it, should be were it is because it was originally intended for parents of adolescents. but just like the malls and in front of convenience stores teens took it over too!!!
because it's supposed to be about parenting adolescents....like the toddler section. but the adolescents just think it's all for them
i wondered the same thing
Yeah I Think it was meant for the parents also, but ... if it weren't for the teens taking it over and it being included in the parenting topics.. who would be answering all of their sex questions? Other teens? These poor people are misinformed enough, at least if it were my teen, I would know they were getting SOME reasonable advice from real adults, and maybe some of it will be true .. instead of ';I heard you can get pregnant from kissing, but you can't if he pulls out'; .. its like they think any piece of sex ed they were ever taught is some big con that adults are pulling, like we are lying to keep the good stuff under wraps, you are told that ';pulling out'; doesn't work, but because ';Buffy';, your 9th grade science partner says it does, all grown ups are liars. Uggh .. yeah it must have sucked having me as a teen .. my poor mom, I am going to call her right now .. ttyl!!
because it's really for ';parents'; of adolescents, not adolescents themselves. teens just kind of took it over because they didn't know better.
ahahahhaha.. I was totally thinking the same thing. They did take over didn't they!?

What do I have to do to be a parenting regular, and why do they think they are so great?

questions go on forevr without being ansered and then one of the holy regular's posts some sort of dribble and they regulars come out of the wood work to anser. How can I be one too?What do I have to do to be a parenting regular, and why do they think they are so great?
I don't know why you would want to be one. In my opinion most of them contribute very little to the discussion on here. To be a part of the ';in crowd'; you clearly have to be a young mom. It helps to be single and anti-male. And you must believe that your own parents did everything wrong which is why you are on here asking for advice from other inexperienced parents instead of asking your child's grandparents for advice.





I've been totally amazed by the number of little cliques on here. One time someone posted what seemed a legitimate question. I gave what I though was a great answer. A short time later the questioner picked a best answer so I check to see what it was. The answerer barely even addressed the question but was thanking the questioner for a recipe she had given her!What do I have to do to be a parenting regular, and why do they think they are so great?
we're the regulars you wanna be


you have to be willing to neglect your kids for hours and hours to chat on CHATZY


you have to be very immature


mean spirited


constantly post questions about how much you hate this one or that one


and how offensive it is to have your non parenting questions deleted


you have to make it known you're with us


and when one of us calls you have to attack and insult before even reading the comment


and obviously you must love drama
I cannot for the life of me figure out why being a regular here poses such a thorn in the side to some.


I am a regular here because I am a misfit in real life. I do not fit in anywhere, except in my own home with my own family. I like many people here a lot. Even people who are not my contacts.


That is what makes me a regular here.... I come here to check in on EVERYONE, more times than not, it actually brings a smile to my face.


I like that.
lol holy regulars.





You're quite famous, don't worry.





* I dont know, I look forward to answering my friends/contacts questions. It's fun to help a friend. I don't limit myself to them though, if I can torment... I mean help... several people concurrently, I am happy to do so.





* Don't leave TM, there's room for everybody.
Give up having a life. Never go out and enjoy yourself, just stay at home on the computer and on this site.





And, if you come across anyone who dares to have a life, and goes out without their children or their husbands, just tell them that they must be a really bad parent and they shouldn't be going to pubs or clubs (whilst secretly being envious of them).
You don't want to be one. Look at what it's done to me, lol.





I'm ready to call it a quits on YA. I've had it with mean girl cattiness (nope I'm not editing this one because I mean it this time).





Another tip- Never edit your answer. You will be called pathetic and said to be playing a victim.





Des- Point taken. Thanks. Shutting up.





Sorry Mozz, but as Des pointed out, this place is not the best place for me. I choose to leave. But I'll see you on FB.
I guess I'm a parenting reguar :)





Just answer more, (NO TROLL ANSWERS) and get yourself known. And to be honest, you really don't wanna become one. Since your trolling a troll, someone will troll you, and start drama with you all the time!





Awww, I'll miss ya Tex! But at leat you'll still be on FB. And to *some* people: Her leaving may benifit her because most of you have been VERY rude to her. Shame on you!
Don't piss of the regular, regulars lol. If you make them made they all gang up on you and make you wish you never found Y!A. They're like a pack of wolves.. or a pack of komodo dragons.
You are a regular, I think anyone that comes on in a regular basis is a regular.
You are not elite enough to become one! You aren't even clever enough to troll properly. Think about it, if you were Wu-would you be asking this question?











No? thought not.
I think you are a regular personally, what would the parenting section be with out you!
You have to develop a personality. Have an easily identified name and avatar, and give memorable answers frequently.
You aren't the real Mitchie.
Your question confuses me. You sound like you don't like them, but you want to be one of them. I think you're conflicted.
Answer more questions.
Why would you want to be one if you don't think there is anything great about it?
That's right! You just answered your own dribble!
you must have missed my quiz.





tx, if you're serious about wanting me to throw a brick, you'd better duck.
be really dull,spank your kids, act uptight and never look at your own vagina with the lights on
LMAO @ des.
You are one. Just look at all these answers!

What does parenting contributing to non attendance mean? And what happens with this?

I saw this on someones ticket history and wanted more info on it. Its from a school ISD.What does parenting contributing to non attendance mean? And what happens with this?
It means the parents are not making sure their child attends school and are being held accountable for the truency. Usually there is a fine involved.What does parenting contributing to non attendance mean? And what happens with this?
Truancy not stopped by the parents.





Depends on where and history
It means that the parent(s) are responsible for the child failing to attend school or whatever. Meaning that the parents are allowing truancy to take place. It is big in California because the budget crisis. Schools only get paid if students show up. Right now they are send law enforcement to homes and parents work, citing the kids and or parents for truancy.





It's actually brilliant!
What it means is that the parents are not making sure that their child is in school.

glitter eyeshadow

Does a non biological ex step parent who has parenting time have to pay child support in Colorado?

Adams county to be exact. Like I said ex step-parent who was awarded parenting time with the child. Please advise!!Does a non biological ex step parent who has parenting time have to pay child support in Colorado?
Not unless you adopted the child or agreed to it for having visitation.Does a non biological ex step parent who has parenting time have to pay child support in Colorado?
Visitation is not necessarily tied to support payments.





The child is ';entitled'; to support from two people and ONLY two people. Mother and Father. One probably has custody and the other pays support. If they have joint custody, they share the kid and probably neither pays support. The only way a step-parent could be forced to pay support is this:





Non-custodial parent gives up parental rights. Custodial parent agrees to that and assumes full responsibility for the child. Custodial parent gets married and new spouse adopts the child. Now new spouse is the second parent and is responsible for child care, even if a divorce takes place.





So did you ADOPT the kid? If not, they should not be able to make you pay child support.
An excellent question - for you to ask a lawyer. Too many variables in cases like this.





You asked ';what was the court thinking?'; - They are thinking that the ex step-parent and the child have created a bond that is beneficial to the child to continue. This may be because of the amount of time they spent together before they became an ex-step-parent. It may also relate to the amount of parenting this person preformed while directly part of the child's life.





The court was probably also thinking that you did not show why this should not be allowed.





I don't know any of the parties involved, I'm making no judgments, however it looks like the court saw that this arrangement was for the best interest of the child. If you think the court is wrong, hire a lawyer.





There is no precedence for collecting support payments from non-biological parents that have not adopted a child.
No. In Colorado, only biological and adoptive parents have an obligation to support a child. Parenting time and child support are not dependent on each other. A step-parent who has not adopted a child does not have an obligation to support the child.
Not unless the court ordered it when they set up the parenting time. You could be sued for child support, but that doesn't mean the judge would grant it. Unless you have the child on a regular basis like a biological parent would, I would not think a judge would order child support. The biological non custodial parent should be the only one to pay support.

Why do some people consider it to be 'lazy parenting' if you smack your child for misbehaving?

In my opinion, lazy parenting is when the parent just says 'go to your room.' Not only do most kids keep the majority of their toys in their room, so its not much of a punishment, the parent doesn't bother to explain what the kids did wrong.


On the other hand, when you spank them, you can, at the same time, tell them what they did wrong because you are actually physically there and can have a real conversation with them.Why do some people consider it to be 'lazy parenting' if you smack your child for misbehaving?
As far as I'm aware, they see it to be the easiest and quickest way of dealing with a problem and see it as a symptom of not being bothered to use a form of discipline which in their eyes requires more effort.





As Judo points out, there are also a number of spanking parents out there who call on people who use time outs and various other methods *instead* of spanking as being lazy.





It's all pretty silly if you ask me. Any reasonable person can see that different things work for different children, kids aren't replica moulds of one another who'll all respond equally to the same thing.





* It's not the same as a man hitting a woman. When that happens it is as a result of anger and is done with brute force. The fact that the parent is bigger and stronger isn't relevant because the parent doesn't (or certainly shouldn't) use their physical power against the child (and if they do then this is where they get into abuse territory). It's a measured and controlled source of discipline, not an angry hit as it is when a stronger person hits a weaker person out of aggression. That's why one thing is legal and the other isn't. For the record, I don't spank, I don't know if I ever will or not, I'll have to wait and see. But if a tapped bottom is what it takes for a parent to make their child see that running into the road is not a good thing, for example, then I'm all for it.Why do some people consider it to be 'lazy parenting' if you smack your child for misbehaving?
If your only method of direction is smacking a kid, you are really a crappy parent. By the time your kid is 10 or 12, if they do something wrong or something terrible is happening, they will not tell you for fear of being hit. Most people who hit their kids all the time also have unrealistic expectations for children's behavior at different ages.





I support spanking, but only as a last resort. I personally limit it to things that endanger the child or others.
I think it's because it's quicker and takes less effort than other dicsipline methods such as the naughty step, timeout etc... You smack, it hurts, they cry, lesson learned. Whereas with timeout, may involve lots of running around and patience to get the child to actually sit and take the punishment. Not every parent can be bothered with that and woud prefer to just give them a smack and be done with it.





I do find it lazy in a way. It's sad that parents would rather hurt their kids because it's quicker than spend time disciplining them in a way that doesn't involve smacking. I think if an alternative to smacking is available then it should be used, no matter how much time it takes up.





I don't agree with using any kind of violence on children (disguised as 'smacking' or not, it's still violent). But at the end of the day, what works for parent and child may not work for another so... each to their own.





EDIT: It shouldn't even get to the point where a child has to be told more than twice before something get done. That IS lazy.
I don't always think it's lazy but sometimes I do. I feel that good parenting takes more effort than that. Using creative techniques to prevent unwanted behavior takes time and effort. Waiting for the child to misbehave and then smacking them, does not take much effort.





I think if a parent has a good parenting style then it wouldn't come to the point where a child is acting up so much the parent feels the need to smack the child to regain control. To me smacking is harsh and unnecessary. I've raised 4 boys so far without it and at 14, 14, 12 and 9 they are all well behaved respectful boys. It's not easy to discipline without spanking. Of course I have had the urge over the years but i always went another route and found another way to discipline that was not only effective short term but was (I believe) MORE effective long term and that took a lot of thought, planning, and effort on my part so yea that is why I sometimes think smacking is taking the easy way out. (not so much lazy but easy)





here come the thumbs down but just giving my honest opinion.





EDIT: See I disagree with your added details. I only ask my children to do or stop doing something ONCE. If they don't then I take action. Giving them second or third chances to listen IS lazy parenting. It also give the child the message that they don't have to listen the first time they are told because they know mom will say it two or three times before any action is taken so they learn to test more and more. You have to take action right away to let the child know they need to listen the first time you say it.
i don't think it's ';lazy';, but i don't agree with smacking because it serves no purpose. it is much more effective to tell a child why they are not allowed to do soemthing or if the child has done something they knew they weren't supposed to, i find it much more effective to ask them why they did it anyway and then give a punishment like a day grounded or no Computer or Nintendo DS for a day. even with small children it is better to tell them why something is dangerous than to smack them without explaination.


i think parents only smack when they at their wits end or they lose their temper in the heat of the moment and most probably regret having smacked their child after they have done it.
If by smack you mean spank and spank only. If you do not mean slap, punch, pock, shove, choke, beat, etc. OK, spanking is far from lazy parenting, I don't know where you people get this stuff, a proper spanking involves a considerable investment in time, energy and thought. A spanking is beneficial both immediately and long term. And by that I mean beneficial for the child.
Every kid misbehaves once in a while...if you smack them they might feel really bad about it. They might feel guilty and like they did something very wrong. That's why it can be good to explain things instead.





Sometimes the kid may have not done anything. For instance, if two sibling are talking and then one starts crying and saying ';___is being mean to me!'; you don't just smack that kid because you assume they were mean to the other one. Siblings will lie. If you talk to the kids, even if you may not know which one is telling the truth, you can tell them that they both need to be nice and then just let them off with a warning. This is better than smacking one kid when it may be the kid who didn't do anything.





Hitting a kid could make them mad and even cause them to develop a hate for you. They might hit back. They will get angry that you have authority and can hit them even if they don't feel they deserve it.


Even if smacking does leave a bigger impression on the kid, it could be a bad impression. I mean, kids learn a lot from you. Sometimes parents are a kid's role models. You don't want your kids thinking it's good to hit little kids. Or thinking it's good to take advantage of your authority by causing physical harm.








About your additional details... that is different, if the kid has already been told not to do something two or more times.


But I still think that hitting a kid will make them get more mad at you than just giving them a time out, sending them to their room, taking something away, having a talk with them, etc.





I know if I was a little kid I would get really p'd off if my parents hit me. I would be so mad and not want to talk to them.......lol.


But I wouldn't obey just because they smacked me. I would rebel against them, and maybe even make a plan to misbehave more to see if they could stand constantly hitting me.














Sorry this was so long, lol.
';Most parents who I know who smack their kids only use this form of punishment if their child has been asked not to do something at least twice...';





Yeah, and we all see these people in the supermarket, mall, fair, etc, all the time. Grumpy Mom or Angry Dad saying ';Put that [whatever] down NOW,'; because pausing for ninety seconds to let the kid check it out and then nicely asking him to move along would be _such_ a drain on their valuable time. Tired and Hungry Kid doesn't snap to listen because Tired and Hungry Kid is tired and hungry, and then there's a ';I said NOW,'; and then the kid gets hit.





It's more _stupid_ than lazy, really... Discipline = teaching. Hitting is not teaching. Plus there is just no need for these petty reward/punishment//revenge scenarios some parents get into. Parents are a little too quick to fight with their kids instead of parenting them, and that is lazy.
It is very easy to smack your kids and make them fear misbehaving and it is much harder to TEACH them how to act properly.





You smack the kid, they think if I misbehave then i'll get smacked, I don't want to get smacked so I won't misbehave.





You TEACH the kid how to act properly and they think to themselves well that's stupid and immature why would I do that.








Spanking never worked for me. I never thought oh I just did something wrong, I was just left fuming mad and in pain.


When my mom would talk to me tell what was right and what was wrong and she would have discussions with me and I would think twice about doing something or I would feel guilty/uncomfortable in situation and would think oh this isn't right and I would get myself out of that situation.





So that's just my personal experience. I don't plan on spanking. Maybe a few swats but NEVER like my mom did.
I think ';lazy parenting'; is when you allow your children to do and say as they please. If you take the time to explain your child what is right and what is wrong and back up your explanation with smacks on the bum if the child chooses not to listen - that is good parenting in my book.
I think it's because the parent didn't take the time to explain and find other ways of disciplining.


Conversely, believe it or not, many parent who spank also feel that not spanking is lazy.


The whole subject is too controversial for my taste.
I'm afraid we as parents are too intelligent to smack as a result our daughter is also very smart %26amp; Knows right from wrong.We treat her with respect and explain things to her so she gives us respect back.





Yes if we were not very good at parenting then we would either let her run wild or smack her - luckily we have it sussed!
Because hitting a child is not for the benefit of the child, but for the parent. You hit when you're not smart enough or patient enough to think of anything else to do.





How can a parent ever be truly trusted by a child when they hit them?
Because violence is the resort of the weak minded. I don't smack my kids...nor will I ever...I was smacked...it's humiliating and it makes them resentful. Explaining why something is bad takes more time and effort than lashing out....THAT'S WHY!
Because it takes a lot more energy to figure out what the actually issue is and then address it so it wont be an issue anymore.


Give the man a fish he eats for today, teach him to fish, he eats forever.
it's not lazy it's just violent. an adult is bigger and stronger then a child and it's not fair how would a woman feel if smacked by a man? same difference.
it is not teaching it's using force to get them in line they are not learning what is proper they are just getting smacked around....that is lazy.
because the child doesn't know what its done wrong and all you do is hit Him/her its child abuse!!!!!!!!!!

Are your kids making you dumb and insulting about parenting?

I have provided in my original question a little more info. Is yahoo your only knowledge base?Are your kids making you dumb and insulting about parenting?
Anyone with any knowledge on fetal development would know that the ears and kidneys develop at the same time in the womb! So there's the conection lol. Ears/kidney develop at the same time, and a problem with either automatically calls for tests to rule out abnormalities.





I didn't see your question, nor click your link. But that is basic comon sense knowledge that anyone who has been pregnant should know. If they don't, then I question their overall concern for anything in general. Not to mention the fact that they didn't care enough to keep track of what was occuring while their baby was growing inside them. Sorry, but thats ridiculous. It isn't hard to gain info and insight, especially when it's a life you created. I want to know as much as possible about anything and everything I can. Call me nuts, but that's just common sense thinking to me. If I didn't want to be bothered, why would I have had kids to begin with.





Anyone that actually relies on this sight for ligit info is a moron. Simple as that.





You have bored people passing time on here. Nothing more, nothing less. It is by no means a replacement to genuine knowledge.Are your kids making you dumb and insulting about parenting?
I think I understand your question. Your thinking that a lot of parents on Yahoo! come on Yahoo! for all of their parenting needs, instead of asking a doctor (if it's health related) or researching it themselves.





I think some people ask certain questions not because they can't easily find out through google, but because they like the interaction aspect by asking on Yahoo!. It's more of a social thing, I guess. So maybe that's why parents get sucked into Yahoo! for questions easily found by searching google (despite losing 5 points and waiting longer for an answer).





However, some parents will ask genuine questions they can't find the answer to, despite searching the web. Other times it can be a question that is asking for opinions, when absolute answers are not available.





I think what Yahoo! does do to *some* parents, is make them rude, sarcastic, and arrogant.
I think a better question would be ';do you know how to evaluate scholarly resources?';


And the answer to that is yes, I do. I didn't see your question, but I wouldn't have answered it anyway because it wasn't a question. It was just a statement of your opinion as far as I can tell. This is a question and answer forum and I come here for entertainment. If someone wants scholarly information they should seek out an expert. Experts publish in peer reviewed journals, lecture at universities, or have careers in the field in which they are considered an expert. One is able to verify their educational background, training, field work, and contributions to industry. I'm not likely to consider someone posting an opinion on yahoo answers an expert.





Having a child has nothing to do with my opinion on this matter.
i'm trying unsuccessfully to make sense of this question. perhaps that proves i'm dumb, though i doubt my stupidity is because of my kids. at any rate, i would not really use ';yahoo'; and ';knowledge base'; in the same sentence. this is a good forum for support and the sharing of opinions. for knowledge i'd look elsewhere, to somewhere with verifiable sources.
No.


Yahoo is people around the world giving their personal opinion about certain things based on personal experience, things they teach, or have been taught
yeah They Do that Alot but not with me


I speak abt my brother,his 6 yrs Kid Always say alot of bad words he listen it somewhere to his parents the big Example';**** YOU';

Did your parenting life turn out the way you expected?

If it didn't is it looking better now?





My life was perfect up until I lost my late Husband and became a widow, and a single Mother. I've since met a wonderful man, and his Daughter, and together with my Son we are starting to build a new family together. It's finally all looking up.Did your parenting life turn out the way you expected?
Not at all. I was single with my first and never expected to be single (he canceled the wedding when he found out I was expecting) and was single with her until she was 12. That surprised me too. The biggest shocker of all with her was the independent streak she has that is a mile wide. She is a college student (18) with a 9 month old daughter and doing great.





I got married when she was 12 and had a son. He was a preemie and it halted my career for a couple of years which enabled me to start a business from home that I love. I put that on the shelf a year ago when my hubby was diagnosed with Cancer. He is still fighting and doing well but I never thought I would be home with our youngest or caring for him. He is only 46.





If I had the power I would change 2 things. Peter and I would have gotten together 10 yrs soon and Cancer would not be in our lives.





Parenting? Crazy, up and down and love every minute, the ones I dreamed of and the surprises.





It is an amazing gift to be cherished. With an adult child and a 4 yr old I see both sides, the work and the results. I see my mistakes and my triumphs. Overall I think I get a B+ because no parent is perfect.





Good luck to you, I really mean it!Did your parenting life turn out the way you expected?
Expectations are a word I've long given up. Not that I'm someone who ever gives up, just my expections have changed It's almost become associated as a bad word in our family. I have just had to adjust and figure out what I truly want out of life, and out of my kids. Most of the time, it really, when it came down to it, cared more what other's thought abbout me and my kids. Now, I try not to care about anyone except for my kids, and growing their character the right way. Just focusing on what character issues I can work on, help them with, or even just pray about if it's something out of my control. I don't think it ever comes out how we expected, but that doesn't mean it doesn't come out the best!!!! Keep workin' at it--it's the best investment ever...same with your time with your husband!!! smile
well, it was really unexpected to start giving birth and then have a half aisian baby! my husband was not happy because neither of us are asian. guess the cat was out of the bag!





i decided to keep Alfred though because at least I know he will be smart and hopefully bring in some money for us.
My parenting journey is just beginning. My partner and I are having our first in October. It hasn't even started and it isn't going to 'plan' how I thought because I never thought I would follow in my mums footsteps and be a teen mum.





I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and really glad to hear that things are looking up.





Love Jen





xx
I am so sorry for your loss and so happy for your gain. I hope you and your new family are happy for many, many years to come.
That's great. Mine didn't turn out like I planned but I guess somethings never do. I like my life but I know it could be better.
I've had some major ups and downs..but honestly it does seem to be getting better with each passing day! I'm very thankful for all of that honestly!

Bossyvey: Does your oldest child try to take over parenting duties even though you keep asking them NOT to?

If my daughter tells my son to sit down and eat his dinner one more time like she's running things....Bossyvey: Does your oldest child try to take over parenting duties even though you keep asking them NOT to?
My 12 year old does that to his 7 year old brother, and I am forever reminding him I happen to be the parent. It is his way of attempting to act like an ';adult'; BUT it is just a bully attitude that drives me insane. *Pulls hair out -- of my head*Bossyvey: Does your oldest child try to take over parenting duties even though you keep asking them NOT to?
Its annoying isn't it


My daughter does it with her brother


Be careful crossing the roads


Don't talk to strangers


Well our daughters will probably make good mums
Hey, if she wants to be boss, she can clean up after dinner, do laundry, pay bills, etc etc.
HEY i am like that and its only because we want to make your lives easier for you and if you don't apreciate it then tell her!
My son does the same with my daughter. I have to reel him in at times but at others I kinda like the break.

How can my boyfriend get his ex wife to stop calling him ( unless it relates to a parenting issue)?

His ex-wfe is alwats creating a reason to call him. I am fine if it is something that relates to his daughter but she is calling about other things too. She even called to invite him out to dinner with her and her daughter even though she knows he has been dating me for almost a year!





My boyfriend knows I do not like these phone calls so now he silences his phones when he is with me -- this irritates me even more because then I feel like he is hiding something.How can my boyfriend get his ex wife to stop calling him ( unless it relates to a parenting issue)?
ONLY your bf can handle this.


And, yes... if he won't, then perhaps you have a serious problem.


But that's the beauty of the dating relationship: you have the freedom to walk away from what isn't working for you.


Good luck, Sweetie!


xoxoxoxoHow can my boyfriend get his ex wife to stop calling him ( unless it relates to a parenting issue)?
He cannot do this because it is impossible. You cannot control the actions of another person unless you physically over power them and force their movements. I would not recommend this type of response for your situation. All he can do is ask her not to make unnecessary phone calls and to hang up on her if she does. It sucks to be annoyed, but sometimes you just need to learn to live with it, as unfortunate as it may be.
Your boyfriend knows how girl don't be so naive he could stop her if he wanted to. For starters he can tell her he doesn't want to talk about anything but matters dealing with their child and if she can't respect that he will simply hang up if she gos on about anything else. Then if she calls and gos on about something else hang up once he does that she will get the hint.





The problem is she is only doing what she knows he will let her do.
first off, i disagree with everyone else about the whole dinner situation. him spending time with his child is fine, but he can take her to dinner on his own. there is no reason they all need to go together. he has his time and she has her time. unless there is a major family function or something important, they don't need to continue to go as a family. that being said, i do agree that if he wanted it to stop, he would put a stop to it. she is only getting away with what he is allowing her to. all you can do is voice your opinion on what you feel is fair and if he agrees, great, but if he doesn't then it's up to you to either put up with it or walk away.
You should call his wife and daughter and ask them to dinner with you and him. Let her know who she's trying to screw over...





THEN when she leaves meal to go to the toilet fake that you need to go too smash her up in the toilet and say that if she tells anyone she's dead. Then fix your make up go sit down and when she comes back say ';OMG WTF HAPPENED TO YOU? YOU LOOK LIKE SH*T';
if you don't like it, then find a man who doesn't have a child. There's nothing wrong with them trying to be on good terms for the sake of their child, there's nothing wrong with going to dinner, I'm sure the daughter would like that. Don't get in the way.
She, and the daughter are part of his life... and they will be forever.





Either you accept that (It's called baggage, and it's why lots of us don't date guys with dependent children) or you find someone without kids.





Truly, hon, it is as simple as that.
It takes two to tango, she may be calling, but he's answering. You're a girlfriend, and a very controlling one at that if you want to try and dictate who he can and can not talk to.
get over it.





no matter what, she will always mean something to him because she is the mother of his child. and if you trusted him, it wouldnt bother you. so stop nagging him about it or you are going to push him back to her.
This is the kind of thing you will have to deal with when you date a man with kids.


If she invites him to dinner, let him go, and tag along. That should put a stop to it.
Date someone without children. I see nothing wrong with him going to dinner with them. If that's your only example, you need to date someone without children.
This is an issue that he has to deal with - he needs to put his big boy pants on and let the ex know that this is getting annoying
IF HE IS ALLOWING HIS EX TO PHONE HIM THIS WAY...SORRY TO TELL YOU THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT..ITS OBVIOUS HE WANT HIS CAKE AND EAT IT TOO....BE WARE! GOOD LUCK!
It not her it his fault he can say no then she will stop calling
umm if it really bothers you should try talking to her, and telling her how you feel.
If he is totally honest with her..she will stop calling
If you are upset because the mother of your BOYFRIENDS child wants him to go eat dinner and spend time with their child you are a piss poor person. How do you think it makes your boyfriend feel that you get upset because his EX (they call them EX-whatever for a reason) asks if he would like to spend time with his daughter even if it is only half hour 45 min every few nights? Im also assuming that the daughter is not old enough to drive herself to dinner because if she would the daughter probably would just come over alone if she wanted to see her dad. My step-sons dad calls my wife a lot as well. And yes sometimes it is an invite to lunch or dinner with him and yes she does occasionally accept the offer. There is no reason to be jealous of an EX and his daughter. Im sure that he actually enjoys spending time with his child, at least I would hope so.

glitter eyeshadow

Will a parenting course help me and what will happen here?

I am being referred to a parenting course once my babys been born, by my social worker and midwife! Has anybody else done one of these before as i just wondered what will happen here and if this will really help me?Will a parenting course help me and what will happen here?
a parenting course is great to meet new people and get a guide of how in general to raise children. only you yourself will know how to to raise your child as parenting classes base everything on the 'average baby' and will also give you conflicting advice. i was never offered the chance of a parenting class but when i had my son i wish i had of got the chance but now looking back i am so glad i didnt get offered one as my son is great healthy and i have learnt my self how to look after my child and noone in the world could have told me how to do it. my parents and other people with kids used to turn round and say o what u doin it like for and u should be doin it like this etc but i always ignored them and raised my son how i thought was right and now he is 2 (not that long really since having him) and he is well developed sleeps through the night from 6pm until 9am he loves to play, he plays with other children and shares his toys and i couldnt ask for anything more. although you are going to parenting classes my advice would be to trust you instinct as good as a parenting class can be no one will no 100% what your child wants except youWill a parenting course help me and what will happen here?
i am just about to join a parenting course at school but my child is 3! it is a great way to learn to enjoy time with your children and meet new parents in the same situation!
Any help should be met with open arms....Yes it will help.
Count yourself lucky. No-one who gives birth really knows what to do when their little one arrives and you are being given the opportunity to gain the knowledge to do the right things and you will have more confidence. A child is a blessing and as they are so small and helpless, they need a good Mum to take care of them and love them.
Oh it'll be great for you...youll meet other Mum's and learn about all sorts of handy things....nothing to worry about at all...parenting doesn't come naturally to everyone...especially if you are young. Just do your best and listen and then they'll leave you to get on with being a Mother! Good luck!
go and enjoy yourself - it will be good for you and the little one
A parenting course will certainly help, although most of it comes naturally anyway!!!!





Good luck! x
well if this is your first baby then it might help you telling you how hot to have the babys bath and how hot to have athe bottle hot to tell whats up when he crys eg hungey wind tierd
Take all the help you can get and enjoy.


Parenting courses are good and Id say they will help you.





Best of luck with your new baby. !

How is parenting today different than it was 15-50 years ago?

I am asking this because I noticed a lot of parents these days not willing to accept their child's downfalls or should I say mistakes. I also think some parents have way too much pride in their kids and they are not willing to accept the possibly their kids can be different. This is coming from a 20 year old , so please do not criticize seniors if you answer thisHow is parenting today different than it was 15-50 years ago?
Parents ';make them but don't shape them.'; Parenting is a 24/7 job that is often unpleasant and demanding. Parents must instill discipline and values in their youngsters, set good examples, develop skills and talents in their children, and be willing to say ';no'; from the age of two on. Children who turn out well learn that the world doesn't revolve around them, and that the world doesn't owe them anything, including second chances. Good parents also allow their children to make mistakes, learn from them, and understand there are consequences for all decisions and choices in life. Many parents today aren't doing these things...at all.How is parenting today different than it was 15-50 years ago?
When I was growing up, you were taught to respect your elders and your teachers. If a teacher reprimanded you, your parents supported the teacher. There were rules about when to go to bed, proper dress attire, go to school, etc.





Many of today's parents do not accept any responsibility in the upbringing of their children. Everyone has to let the child do whatever he/she wants because children have the right to express themselves. If the child does something wrong, it's not his/her fault, it's the school's for not teaching them proper morals. Add to this, many of today's parents hand off their parenting roles to the grandparents because 'they' have better things to do than raise their own kids. This sets quite the example for the kids and the problem grows.
The majority of young parents I come across today have no conception of what the word ';Polite'; means. Therefore they certainly cannot instill into their children to be polite and respect others. Everyone seems to be competing with everybody else to have the bigger house, the newest cars, the smartest children, the most money. Children are not disciplined and are given everything they want. I'm not even sure parents today are able to acknowledge their children's mistakes because they are too busy keeping up with the Jones's to notice.



Just Joyce said it all. I'd like to expand on one thing concerning the influence of TV and movies. Children know too much too soon these days. They've lost the innocence of childhood that we all knew. When elementary and middle school girls are wearing thongs and belly shirts and worrying about their weight, they've jumped straight from kindergarten to high school without all the good stuff that should come in between. I was talking with a friend last night whose 12 year old daughter is being called ';fat'; at school. She's a size 4 and 5'6'; tall. Evidently, anything bigger than a size ';0'; is fat these days. This is not coming from parents, and mom and dad can talk all they want about how pretty she is. The truth is that the only thing that this slender, healthy girl is going to hear is the boys calling her fat. And that kind of body image came directly from the likes of Nicole Richie, Tara Reid, and the stick thin models with boob jobs that they see on TV.
Parenting today is probably the same as it was 100 years ago . . . We teach right from wrong, good morals, clothe, feed, and love our children. The problems develop at about age 10, when they start listening to their peers and seeing the negativity of life on the TV and in movies. . .The majority of mothers stayed at home to raise their children. It is only when the economy worsened and both parents had to work, which threw the balance of family life off kilter. You are lucky if you have a family member babysit because the sense of ';family'; is still kept alive. Only having a few hours a day to spend with children also puts guilt on some parents, and the child suffers from spoiling ! If the child acts up, the parent feels the guilt again, and in defending the child is in essence, defending themselves. . . . I just know GUILT is a big word and will answer all the questions you asked. . . . I wish I knew a way to turn it around, but the world is in an even bigger mess today . . .next, the 10 year olds will have to drop out of school to help support the family !
Don't get me started on this; it is a disgrace how children are ';not raised'; in today's society.





My friend was correcting her son, and I thought that it seemed out of place. Then realized you never see that happen anymore.





I was raised to respect my elders, listen to my parents, and always, in public or private, mind my manners, ask first and always be respectful.





There was a question on YA the other day about a woman that had her kids with her in a restaurant and the kids were running up and down the line of people (her story remember). She said the people in back of her were giving her hard looks and really rude.





This is the attitude of parents today. Many answered back that yes they were rude; far fewer stated she should dicsipline her children. What has the world come to?
I think that parents in previous years were not afraid to set limits, say ';NO'; and mean it, implement a loss of privileges, and taught their children to respect themselves and others, AND also taught manners!





I am a parent who is ';old school'; and frequently am told how well-behaved and what ';fine young men'; my two sons are...





My pet peeve is parents who let their screaming children ruin the meals of other dining patrons...my kids knew since BIRTH that if they made a peep, they would be outside in an instant...they were itty bitty and sitting up in their high chairs behaving because they KNEW to be rowdy would mean an end to the fun and sitting in the car with one parent, while the other parent and child finished the meal.





--BrainBabe, a thoroughly-modern mom who still parents the old-fashioned way!
Parent raised their own children, now they are in Day Care, and have a different set of problems since Day Care. Parents cannot not spend enough time with their children, they both need to work, and the Children deal with bulling and other group problems in schools.Children are learning to cope with their problems in School and theri free time on their own .



Because in these days there a re tow class divisions among us kids. There are the ones that have been spoiled rotten and never had to lift a finger, for their parents did it for them. And then there are the kids that have had to claw their way to the top, and they have been abused by thier drunken/ drug addicted parents. This is the way i see it all around me at school and in town. There is no middle. You either have the good life or you have the rough/ frightful life. That's it....no exceptions these days.


And then there is the release for those kids that never had a loving family or any attention growing up, A.K.A, the gang bangers. These kids the ones that hve been to hell and back and have found love within the family of a gang. These brothers would die for eachother if need be. But then there are the poser gangstaz that think they are all that because they got enough money to hire some one to take a hit out on their ex girl. Pathetic.


And then there are the kids who have found a realease in self-hurting. This release is most common, for many people find pain a glad release over the pressure of sadness and anger.


Kids today are not being raised right by thier parents is the main point. There is a huge division among the the two groups of kids, and as we grow we start to realize how large it is. They think that we're those street rat-wrist cutting- drug users and we think that they are those money loving- never working- perfect parented- spoiled brats.
thanks to computers young people are exposed to so many things and some much sooner than they used to..sexual education is more important now than ever before...all my generation had to worry about was a bad reputation, the clap or a baby..now they have so many diseases out there that cdc gives them numbers instead of names what used to just be a romp in the back seat can be a deadly trip to the end of your life...Young people must be more RESPONSIBILE for their actions today and i hope the parents are ready for these adult problems being thrown on children.
The parents of today apparently NEVER learned the fact that they are their children's MAIN ROLE MODEL. What they do and how they behave is what their children will do.





Watch out for your reflection, it will appear in your children.





I was all for women's liberation when it started and still am in many ways. But the sad repercussions are the neglect of our children. They are being raised by schools that are not producing well educated children and day cares, that do their best but are not parents..





ALL CHILDREN NEED WARM LOVING INVOLVED PARENTS.





I watch Moms all the time, with their children or other family members, spend all their time together ON THE DAMN CELL PHONE. PUT DOWN YOUR PHONES AND PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR FAMILIES.





YOU ARE NOT SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU HAVE TO TALK CONTINUOUSLY ON YOUR CELL PHONE, PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR FAMILIES, ALL MEMBERS..
Spare the rod and spoil the child. Today we have far too many spoiled children. That makes our current recession/depression a good thing because spoiled children will now be deprived of too much luxury in many cases. The idea of doing whatever you want as long as you don't hurt anybody tends to hurt everybody.
as a child my teacher had the authority to paddle me and then i got another when i got home. no excuse was acceptable. todays parents have the teachers unable to keep order in the classroom because they can't discipline the students and it's been going on for years. and no prayer or 10 commandments in school and it gets worse every day. something needs/ needed to be done along time ago but we sit quietly and let the few dictate to the majority. we need help.
well my son that turned 29 today had a habit of throwing myself on the floor at the store if he couldn't have this toy or that toy..we didn't have much money for toys , so of course the answer was no, not today! well one day he laid on the floor kicking his little legs as hard as he could and crying!..i said son if you don't get up off the floor, i'll have to spank your little butt...i actually did...but no more fits at the store. he has given me a wonderful grandson that will be 3 and my son is such a great father..people compliment what a great parent he is....i love my family!
i think parents are on the wrong track when it comes to disciplining their children now i don't mean beating your children but in order for ';time out'; to work for some kids you have to give them at least one good spanking just so they know you will
Parents today won't correct the kids for fear of being arrested, it's a shame. My neighbores kid was arrested for drugs, etc, and died from a overdose, but to listen to her he never did anything wrong. Very sad.
most parents I know do Their Best...I find it is the spoiled child problem that exists...every child feels entitled to all. I feel the need to raise mine the old Way, with morals and a work ethic So they can make it in this dog eat dog world.


EDIT:Wellsaid Dr.W!!!
I do see more parents who attempt to use reasoning with their misbehaving children instead of grabbing them and spanking their behinds. Give it another 20 years or so and you will find out if they had the better method of parenting.
What parenting - teachers, cops %26amp; probation officers.
No, they're terrific - just like you.
Well, moms stayed home with their children more. And we were told to go outside and play. I used to play and run all the time. Now a days, kids just sit in front of a tv playing video games. Which is fine for a little while but children should run and play. Obesity is a big problem in the US. I weigh more than I should. I agree that a lot of people take too much pride in their children. They push them into sports and things sometimes when the child just wants to do his own thing. I know this because my brother is like that. He pushes them very hard but they seem to enjoy it. Sports will hopefully keep them away from drugs.

Do you subscribe to or read any baby or parenting magazines?

If you do which ones do you like and what do you like about them? I really like to read magazines and used to read Parents magazine on a regular basis but after awhile all the stuff seemed to be the same stuff. What is your favorite book about babies or parenting. I liked the book ';What the other mothers know';!Do you subscribe to or read any baby or parenting magazines?
Yeah...I get Cookie, American Baby and shamefully, US Weekly (It is good ';veg-out'; reading.)





Cookie is pretty cool but aimed more for moms who have Volvos %26amp; Cartier watches...not me. But, it gives cool, Martha Stewart inspired touches to everyday things that toddlers like. And they do have a section called, ';cookie dough,'; which is coupon codes from various sponsors.





I have gotten some solid enjoyment out of American Baby. There is good writing and it is a smaller magazine, so there is not very many fillers %26amp; advertisements.





If, I did have to pick ONE to recommend...it would have to be Cookie. As far as mommy books...I have kind of come up empty-handed. I am reading Tori Spelling's ';Mommywood,'; I have to say it is very entertaining.Do you subscribe to or read any baby or parenting magazines?
I subscribe to:


Parents


American Baby


Baby Talk


Cookie (I agree with the marketing that it is to those with Volvos and Carier watches and those who think $50 for an article of clothing is cheap)


Family Fun (it is a replacement for the now defunct ';Wonder Time';)





All of these magazines I essentially got as free subscriptions. I had a free sub to Parents (two years, I think), and got a mailing for two years for eight or ten dollars so my husband got it for me, so it piggybacked and I have a subscription until 2011. The magazine can be redundant, but it makes for a good read while I'm breastfeeding.





Also, my daughter likes the baby/kids pictures in the mags, too.
I had a one year subscription to Parents magazine when my son was born. I enjoyed reading it, but like you said, I felt like it was pretty much the same thing every month. Even though I love to read, I have never read any parenting books. I just kinda go with the flow.
I've had a tough time finding a magazine that's not sponsored by a formula company.





ETA: Just want to add that I have nothing against people who *use* formula, I just have a problem with the companies.
i read lamaze but im not much of a reader, i have pregnancy for dummies, what to expect when expecting and full of life
Yep i read a magazine online for moms of multiples, I'm having twins in early december. I'm looking at hand free feeding systems for multiples.
i havent read ';what other moms know'; but im gonna check it out! i read parenting-the early years b/c it comes in the mail for free! haha! its an okay magazine.
I read babble.com from time to time. It can be interesting.

Any good Parenting books that you have read lately?

I was at the book store last night looking at parenting books that deal with disapline for teens and or preteens? There are so many, I didnt want to waste money so I am on here asking if you have read any good one's that you would recomend.





Thank you!Any good Parenting books that you have read lately?
I don't have teens but How to Talk so your Kids Listen and Listen so your Kids Talk is one of the best people skills book I have ever read. I think it applies for all ages.





Good luck.Any good Parenting books that you have read lately?
I really hated ';Love and Logic'; because the authors are psychologists and they haven't even tried this on their own kids. I loved ';Kids are worth it'; because the author not only successfully parented her own kids, but had amazing success turning around behaviorally challenged teens at work with her methods. I tried her suggestions and got quick, lasting results on challenges that I hadn't been able to solve in months or years.





My kids aren't teens yet and I get most of my parenting ideas from church, but those are my thoughts on parenting books.





***


I once scanned through ';How to Talk so your Kids Listen and Listen so your Kids Talk'; and it looked like a decent book too.
I actually found some good parenting books and article on Teens respecting themselves on http://www.tripleaytche.com/kidsandteens
i am 19 yr so i don't have any children and i am not married but i can tell u that the best book is doctor Phil's book
My favorites are the Love and Logic books and How to talk so your kids will listen.