I'm writing a paper for college and I need a good reason as to why parents parent differently today then they did ten years ago.Why has there been an increase of lax Parenting?
Truthfully its always been this way. Meaning my daughter parents differently than I did and I parent differently than my mom and my mom parented differently than my grandmother and so on ....
We are always looking to do better. Mostly in this arena its better than our parents did. My parents were a$$holes when they raised me. Truthfully they could have just talked to me and I would have listened. So I raised my children with the philosophy of talk to them like they are people. My daughter says she will NEVER raise her daughter the way we raised her. Why? Because she got away with everything!! She says now mom you should not have let me do that stuff even though I was begging. Yeah I had fun but it was no place for a girl my age So she is taking the approach of a$$hole parenting with my granddaughter.
The problem is that IF I had been raising MYSELF or anyone from my generation who had my parents, my parenting style would have worked. However, I only became a decent person because I had a$$hole parents so when I tried to raise a child that way it went haywire.
There is always someone out there with a better idea or a new approach. And we always want the newest thing for our kids. So we go with putting the baby on the back instead of the belly to sleep and we roll our eyes at our mothers who think its not right. But then, a couple weeks ago a newborn died here from being on his back when he spit up a large amount and it went into his lungs. So was mother wrong? It depends on the child and that is the bottom line. What works for yours may not work for mine but society wants to ';group think'; us all together.
As to why children feel entitled and why dont parents dicipline is that we want to be the cool parents because we in this country have such a problem with getting old. We want our kids friends to think that they have the nicest mommy or the coolest daddy. We sometimes even dress like them when they are teens. Kids today have laptops and cell phone at 10 years old. I had a bike and ONE barbie. I had to make my own fun with my friends OUTSIDE! Now kids have video games and computers and texting and malls....so yeah why wouldn't they feel entitled? But how did we get here...
We got here by taking dodge ball out of gym class. That is really where it started its not spanking or CPS because there have always been parents who didnt spank and there have always been parents who beat their kids and their always will be both. No..it started at school. We took dodge ball out of school and at the same time implemented the hideous program of ';everyone wins'; by giving every kid a ribbon on field day. Every kid gets a trophy at the soccer banquet. We are just going to hand it to them so why should they put the work into practice? The other neato thing we as parents have done is started arguing with our kids. I very quickly decided that if I was going to get into an argument with my kids I was dam sure gonna win. And where does this leave our children?
They dont know how to lose, they have an entitlement complex and they are unprepared for the world and real life because WE were lazy and didnt wanna be seen as the bad guy. It can be blamed on books and the times and everything else but it comes down to are your children worth looking like a jerk and them being mad at you? And for a lot of parents the answer is no.Why has there been an increase of lax Parenting?
It's because there is an increase of the ';coddle your kids and let your child determine the way you parent'; psycho babble out there.
In other words, an increase of ';Dr. Phil'; parenting and a decrease in intelligent, responsible parenting.
*Yadda Yadda Yadda- LOL. I give you 10 thumbs up!!!!
Alot depends on the age of the parent. If they are older they don't want the corporal punishment which is likely what they received.
If they are younger (not all younger parents) they aren't grown up enough to punish their child or are to into themselves to care.
There are probably both parents afraid of CPS and some who don't care. Kids feel entitled because they aren't told no and have no consequences if they do something wrong.
I think parents are trying more to be the 'friend' of their child rather than the parent. It's my theory that they're doing this because they feel guilty about something they did (or didn't) do while the child was growing up, whether it be daycare/nanny or whatever - they're trying to fill a 'hole' in and patch the relationship.
There are people who genuinely believe that any form of spanking = abuse, and they have the right to believe that. Having been on the receiving end of the belt (including the brass rings of the buckle) I can say that a swat on the rear to get a child's attention is nowhere near the same as hearing your ribs crack. But, that's my opinion. Others are free to disagree with me.
Back to the why kids feel entitled - it's again the parents. Mom or Dad couldn't make it to Little Johnny's 3rd grade play (for whatever reason) so the next time Little Johnny sees something he'd like, they buy it for him immediately - so he'll 'like' them again. They keep missing things in his life, so they buy him other things to make up for it - thus creating a false sense of entitlement. It's no longer a nice 'reward' for good grades and/or outstanding performance, it's a requirement to keep the child happy.
Anyhow, that's my two cent's worth.
Take it or leave it.
Kids are having kids. Parents are afraid of what others will think if they spank their kids. The media has hyped up how bad parenting is the cause for all the violence, but fail to tell us what bad parenting is. Then there are those that think ';violence begats violence';. Of course we can't forget about those who can't tell the difference between a spanking and abuse. Those are the ones responsible for CPS having to investigate every reported case of a spanking. And what is worse? The ones who were really abused as children that turn around and abuse their kids, or the ones who were really abused that refuse to discipline their kids for fear they will turn out like their abusive parents? There are too many factors to have only one reason.
I say BE A PARENT! Your kids are not your friends, they are your kids. So act like it!
only 10 years... parenting has not changed that much in 10 years. 20 or 30 maybe, but not 10. 10 years is really NOT that long ago..
No generation is perfect...none. We need to stop looking back in the past with rose coloured glasses.. Every generation has issues of their own. To constantly put down ';today's'; parents is unfair to many of us who are working our BUTTS off to raise decent kids. I hate these huge misleading generalizations that today's parents do not disciple and spoil our kids. That is simply not true for most of us. There maybe the bad apples who spoil the bunch, the stereotypes who stand out... but as someone who works with families day in and day out I can say that that stereotype is NOT true for most families. People see ONE bad kid in the neighbourhood and shake their heads at every parent walking by and do not notice that most of today's kids are also smarter and more advanced then kids were 20 or 30 years ago... There is a TON of positive things today's parents are doing and a ton of great kids out there. Why not focus on that for a change someone??
Some where along the line some idiot wrote a book about how spanking can damage a child's ego and that the best way to parent is to be their friend!!!
People bought this book and thought ';WOW, until this moment we were doing it all wrong. We must now teach the world how to be parents again, and we will do it by calling spanking abuse. We will tell every one we know that spanking is wrong. We will be our kids friends and everything will be wonderful and rainbows will fly out of children's @sses and we will sing songs and bake cookies';
There actually is now a backlash starting against this whole movement BTW, people are starting to see where this type of parenting has gotten us and are now reverting back to the older ways!! All I can say is THANK GOD!!
Any one who would call CPS for some one spanking their child has no earthly idea what ABUSE really is!!
They want to be their children's 'friend' instead of their parent.
Or you could go with the route that since there is such a decrease in religious parents, they don't have the same ideals and morals as their parents and are therefore living more for themselves than for their kids. They no longer view children as a blessing from God.
Actually, parents of 50 years ago were much more lax in many respects. Kids could play all over town and just come home for meals. More children smoked, both at home and elsewhere. Ever watch an episode of ';Leave it to Beaver';? He had the run of the town!
The main problem today is the need for two incomes, brought on by the devaluation of the dollar under Nixon, Reagan, and the Bushes. No mom at home, kids raise hell.
I don't disagree with Yadda Yadda, but I think it is deeper than that.
The parents are chasing the big screen tv with surround sound, the fancy SUV and the yearly tropical vacation. We work longer hours, we have more stressful jobs and the home life suffers. The kids spend much more unsupervised time, often hooked up to unmonitored internet or Xbox and the family unit doesn't always exist how it used to
I know it is cliche, but when I was a kid, if I got up to no good, someone's mom would have called my mom before I got home. Now, everyone's mom is either working 50+ hours a week or just doesn't want to get involved.
Frankly, it's pure laziness on the part of parents. It takes time, work, effort, and patience to discipline (not punish) consistently. Many parents are quite selfish, and don't want to take the time.
People are lazier nowadays. Lazy drivers. Mediocre job performance. Lazy parenting. VERY FEW takes any pride in anything they do. Parenting is a lost art.
I don't think stuff was that much different ten years ago.
Cause theres more laws not to smack your kid lol
Damn right to the first answer
knowledge
Who says any of those things are true? Where is the proof?
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