Thursday, May 13, 2010

How much of a toddler/child's personality and behavior do think is due to parenting?

Do you think the way children act, respond, and so on is just a natural part of their personalilty or do it think it's directly related to parenting? For example, is a child clingy and needy because their parents do everything for them and don't leave their side? Are ';bad kids'; bad because their parents allow the behavior? I have my opinion and want to see what others think. ThanksHow much of a toddler/child's personality and behavior do think is due to parenting?
I think a lot of it is hardwired but the direction it takes depends on the parenting and environment.





I actually think that being clingy and needy is a result of a child's parent NOT doing enough for/with them. For example, my 2nd child was born trying to nurse. No lie, she was trying to latch on to the fingers that were measuring her head and body. She was born with a very strong need to bond. She was very sensitive and was usually only consoled by me. So I basically 'indulged' for lack of a better word to comfort her and care for her. I didn't spoil her in her 2's or 3's but as an infant, I made sure all her needs were met.





As a result at 5, while she is still sensitive, it is more in an empathetic way. She is not as outgoing and social as some but she has developed into a very pleasant and rather confident child. I think that is because she KNOWS I will be her for her so she doesn't have to cling.





That's my theory. Personality is hardwired but parents direct it.How much of a toddler/child's personality and behavior do think is due to parenting?
It is a combination. Every child is 'part of' (genetics) his or her parent (or sometimes even another family member) and the rest is a 'learned' behavior. Remember, children are like a sponge...they retian everything they see and hear.


A parent's job is to mold their children into a healthy normal adult.
Obviously it's a combination. Kids do what they can get away with, so parent's need to be firm and consistent to get a child to listen to them and act in an acceptable manner. That said, my father died when I was 6 months old. I'm almost 30 and to this day my mom swears that I have the same speech patterns, mannerisms, facial expressions, etc that my dad had. It's not like I could have learned those from him. So there are some things that are born in.

No comments:

Post a Comment