Spanking is wrong, end of story.
I find that very untrue. It can be a good tool of discipline when used in the proper context. It may not be good for all families but it is a good tool for ours.
Another one I disagree with is ignoring when your child acts out. That never solves the problem and only teaches them that they can get away with their behavior because nothing is done to stop it.What parenting advice did you find to be NOT TRUE or totally NOT REALISTIC?
Standard advice I really disagree with~~~~~~ ';Ignore bad behavior';.
That has got to be the absolute WORST parenting advice I have ever heard given. I mean really, in real life is bad behavior ignored? Does a police officer 'ignore' the fact that we are speeding? What if one gets mad and beats up a neighbor, do we actually think a judge is going to IGNORE that?
Ignoring bad behavior does nothing but teaches a child that he/she can do whatever they want and mom or dad or teacher or whomever will do nothing about it. Children need to learn that there are consequences for bad behavior and bad choices. It is the PARENT'S job to teach them. If you want your child to use self control and make good choice in their behavior, TEACH them that making bad choices has bad consequences. Ignoring it does not teach them this.
The biggest thing that bothers me is all the safety stuff they put in there. When I read parenting magazines and books, I feel like I should wrap my kids in bubble wrap, smear them with antibiotic gel, and never let them leave the house! That way they'll never get injured and never get sick, and definitely not live life!
*CEM: I've NEVER read one parenting magazine that says moms should stay home and that dads should get 2 jobs if necessary. Quite the contrary. The biggest thing that bugs me about parenting magazines (besides the safety stuff) is the notion that moms are expected to work outside the home and that if you don't, you're some kind of lazy slob.
If I ever do read this advice in a modern parenting magazine, I will be applauding it 100%.
The key is not to follow everything you read to the letter. You read it, consider if it fits you and your lifestyle and parenting style and apply it as appropriate or disregard it. I found it best to find one or two books that fit me and my family and ditch the rest.
The pacifier thing is what I disagree with. I think some kids need that comfort and sucking long after the age that a lot of books say is appropriate. And the thinking that you spoil a baby if you hold them too much. Cripes! I wish my 8 year old would let me hold her now!
When kids grow up, no one ever says, 'wow, I wish I hadn't held them that much'.
The list of ';needed baby items';, that they put in the magazine telling you what all you'll need to buy! About 60% of the stuff is 100% un-needed, or doesn't get used!
I can't think of any other big ones in magazines.
A big one with people is '; you can't keep an eye on your kids all the time, ALL kids wander off at some point';. That crap is a total lie, you are more than capable of keeping an eye on your kids, and not having them wander off, if you actually pay attention to them!
I agree with Royalbird, and also I've never read any parenting book or magazine or heard any expert ever say that a parent should be their child's friend so not sure where people are reading that crap LOL
For me the biggest thing I read and did not agree with was that it is better for twins to be kept together in school.
';Unless there is a compelling reason to separate them, the National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs ( NOMOTC) and other experts advocate keeping them together, especially in early elementary years. There are hundreds of small reasons why staying together is a benefit, and one very significant factor: the unique and special relationship that multiples share with each other.';
http://multiples.about.com/cs/twinsinsch…
Sorry I have twins and completely disagree with this. Twins should not be treated different than any other sibblings and you wouldn't put regular sibblings together to keep them close. My twins are in 8th grade and both honor students and I can list many reasons why separating twins is better. But I'llleave at this since this is not what the question is about.
Not to put baby bottles in the microwave. At 2 am are you really going to wait a half hour for a bottle to warm in a cup of water?!?!? NO. I understand that at some point an idiot microwaved a bottle for 2 min and then put into a babys mouth, but the average intelligent person knows that you need to shake it up a little then test the temp.
Also, when your baby is little, everyone says to just sleep when the baby does then you wont be tired. UMMMM....ya right! That is when you 1) hold your child to bond with her/him. 2) catch up on housework or 3) Your a working mother!
Oh, most of it. Smacking a small child for doing something dangerous does not teach them that violence is ok, despite what supernanny might say. Ignoring bad behaviour? What about when junior is trying to murder his little brother? Basically, I always wonder if these so called 'experts' have even got their own children.
the advice i cant stand, and didnt follow with my first, is let them cry, you'll spoil them if you pick them up all the time........wut kind of crap is that? i held my son all the time and now he is a very independent child. so now that i'm having my second, i will do the same, because i think it shows them, that you are there when they need you.
oh and the other one, is let them cry, its good for their lungs. uuuumm......no.
';Put underwear or pullups on your toddler when you start potty training.';
Complete disaster! Neither of my kids had the faintest chance of remembering that they were supposed to be using the potty unless they were bare from the waist down. Once I took the underwear off, they were dry within a couple of days.
For me it was how easy and natural breast feeding was going to be. I was assured by my dr and the lactation specialist that we were ';doing it right'; and that it would get easier - but after 2.5 weeks with my daughter starving, nursing every 2hrs for over 40 mins and with my nipples scabbed and bleeding, we happily switched to formula.
I was advised to have my house quiet so my babies could nap. This was so not true. It is too hard to maintain quiet and live a normal life. it has worked out much better that we run the house normal - doorbells, dog barking, phone, etc. - and the babies became accustomed to the commotion.
I agree with you. I think the biggest line I've ever heard is that boys are harder to potty train than girls. My oldest daughter was almost FOUR before she got day training completely down and it was not for lack of trying on my part! I also hate any of the stuff about boys being slower than girls.
be open with your children and try to be best freinds with them. they will start to respect you, and never hide things from you.
bullshyters!!!
seriosly. my mum did that with me. theres some things we DO NOT want to know. and since when will we tell you everything?
Never to yell at your children. how realistic is that? I'm sure everyone has yelled from time to time. Of course, no one should do all the time- but come on! Those professionals act like you committed a murder if you raise your voice.
I never ...NOT EVEN once, read a ';Childcare Book';...I know how to raise my children Better than they do, I know my kids as Individuals,not ';Cookie-Cutter'; Children...and guess what! I was right...I have 3 WELL turned out Kids...
not telling your child no because it may stump their creativity. They should learn the ';no '; things on their own... ( my sister followed this rule and is now a mother of the 2 worst children on the planet!)
Be a ';friend'; to your children rather than a ';parent';..
Talk about backfiring on people.
The only way to get a baby to sleep in a crib is allowing baby to cry. Haha. So stupid.
I was told that boys are easier than girls. Sooo not true!
turns out 2 is considerably more than twice the work
The ';standard advice'; that you need to stay home to care for your children and the husband should work or work 2 jobs if necessary, otherwise why have kids when someone else will raise them. LOL.
This ';advice'; is totally not true and not realistic at all.
Ever hear of ';it takes a village to raise a child?'; Now, that one is true.
That baby needs to be in a crib in another room, pacifiers should be weeded out by age 2 and that you should vaccinate your 2 day old baby and not worry about the neurological side effects, such as autism, ADD, torrets...and the list goes on.
My favorite good advice is that if your kid hits, to take his hand and make him stroke your arm and say, gentle touch, (instead of NO!) This way the kid learns the right way to touch rather than just what not to do.
Keeping your newborn in a crib to sleep and getting up to feed it. They're just too tiny and need close human contact and it's so much easier to sleep with them.
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