Thursday, January 21, 2010

Do you think that proper parenting means to give and do everything for your children?

Do you feel the need to teach, train and discipline your children? If so how do you do it? Did you learn your parenting style from our own parents or from some other source?Do you think that proper parenting means to give and do everything for your children?
Proper parenting means providing the best lifestyle you can for your children, such as medical care, education, and worldly experiences. However, to ';give and do everything'; is not a good parenting technique. Children need to be encouraged to explore, but not if it imposes risks to their safety. Children need boundaries and need to be taught that they cannot get their way all the time, as well as that there are consequences for every action and/or inaction that they choose.Do you think that proper parenting means to give and do everything for your children?
How will a child learn responsibility if everything is done for them? And how will they truely learn to appreciate things if everything they want is given to them? Depending on age, I think a child should earn the things that WANT (obviously not the things they need). Children also need to be taught how to do things for themselves too (obviously again, age plays a part in this).





Disciplining children is very important. It teaches respect. There are many ways to do this, and I feel like this question is too broad to answer how I discipline. I did learn my parenting style from my parents, and some of my own are incorporated. I saw other parents use a certain technique...I liked it, and tried it. But I think my parents did a great job in raising me, and I am proud to use many of the same disciplining and training techniques as they did.
well I feel that proper parenting is always doing what feels right to you and doing your best at doing so. no I don't think you should give and do everything for your children because they eventually have to be independent in this crazy world we live in. I think it's a parents job to guide and direct as best as possible, then trust that you've done your best and instilled good values in your children and then you need to trust them to do the right thing. I did not get my parenting style from my parents it came from other sources, 2 other sources to be precise.
Everyone has their own unique way of parenting.





Yes, I do teach, train, and discipline my children. I teach my kids through hands on activities, sitting down with them one on one and showing by example. I train them by example as all parents do. I discipline by what the action is. If it is something that can just get a warning and a talk then they get a warning and a talk, if it continues then its time out, if it continues they get a spanking, if it continues then they get sent to their rooms until they can control themselves. If it is a horrible thing they get sent to their rooms and then talked to.
Not at all. You teach by example how you would like your children to behave. Give them basic guidelines (rules), lots of love, be supportive and available to them and the rest will take care of itself.





I remember how I was raised and I didn't like it so I'm doing the exact opposite. My children all go to private Montessori schools. If you're familiar with this kind of education, it's independent, student driven learning. There's no such thing as grades, academic or otherwise. It's been proven that children that have such a background do much better academically. Love, Guidelines and showing by example, Supportive/Available parents, Education...I believe all go into being the best parent one can be. :)
Proper parenting is to give your child the best life you can, without spoiling them!


You should give your child everything they need, not necessarily everything they want.


My parenting style grew from the child I have and not from a book! Though that being said, there is nothing wrong with taking a little info from here there and everywhere.
';Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.';


I teach me kids about whats really out there, not sweet talk them, well so far I've only done this for my 15 year old, no need to scare a 2 year old or 9 month old.
I think proper parenting is to teach the child to do everything necessary for living. Not to do it for them.
Parenting *is* teaching, training and discipline. I try to be fair and firm, but like everyone else I lose my cool from time to time.


I guess I'm a lot like my mom, the way she raised me.
no , not at all.


You do it with instinct.
Okay, first I should say that I'm not a parent, but I have been responsible for teaching and caring for children at several times in my life, and I get sitting requests pretty often...





Somebody above me said, 'Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.' That's so true, it's crazy. The most successful people (let's be loose with 'successful') are rarely people that had things handed to them.





It's often said that a boy's first major obstacle is their father. A further points of realization for male children are the point when they discover their parents are just people, and don't have all the answers. Like when mom says to 'just ignore bullies.' It's hard to ignore somebody who is holding your head in the toilet! You realize you may need other points of view. And then, you reach adulthood and can really see how little your parents had to go on.





A friend of mine was raised with a serious Sicilian family. He had to kneel on rice grains when he was bad. If the kids weren't sufficiently appreciative at Christmas, his father would smash all the toys. But dad was an old schooler. Their mom was sent to the US because she had been 'rented out' to other friends and families for various icky things as a little girl. The children had no frame of reference for the life they had.





Now, he's a fantastic father. He dotes on his kids, sure. They have all kinds of stuff other kids can't have because their father is a successful business owner . But every year, for five holidays, he takes the kids and the leftover Easterbaskets, Christmas decorations, etc to All Children's Hospital so they can see what kids with real problems look like.





And it works! At first glance, you would think the kids are totally spoiled with motorbikes, video games, all kinds of stuff... but they understand that they can have all those things because dad busted his hump and ate dirt for years. When it is time for schoolwork, chores, activities, whatever, they all do their best, always help others, and show good discipline in listening to their mom and dad.





Could he have done that without the full-circle kind of upbringing he had? Nope.





Yes, children need fun, love, and care. They also need to be challenged, and need to really see where things can go so bad. They need to understand that everyone isn't looking out for them, like mom n dad. They must, simply must know that, no matter how 'special' they are, it isn't crap unless they work to build something (financial, character, whatever) that matters.





That said, when I am responsible for children, there is a strict line on what kind of discipline can be administered. When I taught kiddie karate, for example, anger or violence could be absolutely no part of discipline, or you undermine your own principle. But darnit if those kids didn't have to hold up walls when they were bad. We joked, we played. The little six year old girls would pull the hug-tackle, if you let them get too wild (sharp little buggers! How are you gonna discipline ten six year old girls who are hugging you?) But you have to, and do it in the right, balanced way.





Like anything else, balance and situational appropriateness are key. Especially discipline in yourself. You cannot teach kids something you cannot demonstrate. (Think reading primers, subjects that cannot be easily pointed at, or actions that are not easily demonstrated are left out of the curriculum until context can be established). Or, simple one... how can you teach kids to stand straight, toes together, heels together, if you do not demonstrate the presence of mind to do it yourself when YOUR teacher shows?

No comments:

Post a Comment