Thursday, January 21, 2010

What is the best way to tell someone that they need to improve their parenting skills ?

Sometimes parents get offended when you try and show them that something is unhealthy mentally, hygenically or socially. Some parents are very close minded or mentally inept or believe that ';That was the way I grew up, so it must be right(even though they grew up in a bad household and they didnt turn out all that well)'; .How do you tell them without causing conflict?What is the best way to tell someone that they need to improve their parenting skills ?
you know it seems when it comes to parenting reason goes out the window and people are more likely to decide what is best for there child based on there own ideas rather than look at medical evidence etc.





what i do is tell the what I know and back myself up with sighting references, then let them figure it out





you can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drinkWhat is the best way to tell someone that they need to improve their parenting skills ?
I grew up in a bad situation and with my son I take almost everything to heart, about my parenting skills. My friend s all have kids they show me how so I understand. I would recommend that you bring it up as an idea. constantly if they keep hearing it hten they will pick up on it. you keep hearing it you belive it
I noticed some of your previous questions dealt with the custodial mother and your disatisfaction with the situation. So I'm thinking that you may be referring to your ex.





As dumb as it may sound, perhaps positive motivation is the way to start out. Compliment all the things the parent does right. (don't overdo it, now). This takes people off the defensive and you can possibly slip in ';a little'; suggestion. Most people love compliments and will hear you if you compliment more than criticize.





If this is an ex you are talking about, good luck. I know from experience that ex's are tough to deal with. Be gentle.
I dont think you really can do that without offending someone
find a brochure from a local parenting class and offer to go with the person , make it fun '; maybe afterwards we can go out for a milk shake'; . Just put it like this '; I think there are some things we can both learn together , and it sais it's fun ! Most classes I knkow of offer a free pack of diapers, or a free set of baby products . Go as a group with other people too , then the person in need sees that there are people to support them, but you won't really have to say a word .
Its none of your business how another parent brings up their child...unless you are a grandparent...mind your own business
That's a tough one. Maybe start out with casual conversation like, ';did you see that episode of Super Nanny when...'; then slowly get into the specifics of what you'd like to communicate.





The best way I think is to talk about IDEAS rather than criticizing the person. (E.g., ';It might be best for a child to have...'; or ';if I had a child, I'd...';)


Good luck.
Well umm, you could tell them a better way to do improve like...';I heard kids really respond to this...'; Or Maybe should start doing this..i dont know somthin like that
First of all, everyone is not the same, Everyones values systems are different. What I think is right may not be what you believe in, and people take offense at other people's suggestions. It is best to mind your own business because you never know what someone elses burden is. If the situation is abusive, call the department of child welfare. Let the professionals make the suggestions.


Do you have children?
Well, your right people can get offended when you challenge their methods of paranting. I have found that simply suggesting a different method or comparing methods might help. For ex; use a mutual Friend, maybe little Johny has been hitting the other kids at the play ground for no reason. Well, Mary, Johny's mother decided she will not take him back to the play ground for a few days. Were as your Friend Cathy might have slapped her child,


Explain how taking something away from the child that they enjoy can be more effective than hitting.
A very difficult question to answer.....For a start who said your ways are always correct..your standards may be fine for you but not OK for someone else who may have had a different upbringing or no upbringing,yes one would agree obvious things like heath, hygiene are about as far as I would go.show them the Internet resources books etc....IF..people are going to change it must come from within they must see it for them selves ...or all your efforts will be wasted ..good luck
it is a hard thing to do telling a parent to improve their parenting skills, and it can offend somebody a lot...if you aren't close to the parents, i would suggest not saying anything at all....if you are, then try to say it to them nicely....
have their mother do it

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