Is it poor parenting to tell my kids the truth about Santa?

I have twins - 5 year old boys - and I can't bear to lie to them. When their grandfather died I didn't sugar coat it: I told them he no longer existed and was but a lifeless corpse.Is it poor parenting to tell my kids the truth about Santa?
Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are all parts af a child's first understanding of faith. Regardless of whether or not you believe in a higher power no one can deny the importance of faith.


- Faith in the goodness of man kind


- Faith in the power of love


- Faith in anything at all that is unseen





If a child does not have these three mythical characters to believe in you could potentially screw up their entire belief system as a whole.





Belief in Santa is a child's first widely accepted opportunity to believe in something they can not see.





Even if you are one of the ultra religious types that avoids all pagan symbols during the holidays or if you are part of a religion that does not celebrate the holiday's and events these characters represent it will be harder for your child to blindly accept your faith than it would be for other children to accept their faith. This could mean that the moment that faith is called into question by an outside source your child could give up on it all together.





Now if belief alone is not enough for you there is one other psychologically damaging affect of not allowing you child to believe in Santa.





A child whose house is not visited by the jolly Christmas icon is likely to feel inadequate compared to their friends who do believe in a get a visit from Santa. Imagine the feeling little 5 year old Johnny will have when he returns to school after Christmas break and finds out that his house is the only one St. Nick did not pay a visit too. All of Johnny's friends have recieved cool presents from this guy and yet Johnny was the only kid not important enough to get a gift.





This feeling of being less important than others paired with the damaged structure of a childs belief system can permantly damage a child psychologically for his or her entire life.





So sure it might be easier to just avoid Santa but you have to think is that really what you want to do? DO you really want to scar your child for life? It's your choice.Is it poor parenting to tell my kids the truth about Santa?
Do some research on the subject. There was a man that went to the orphanages and gave presents to the children who were indeed good and the ones who were naughty didn't get anything. Watch the history channel sometime. You can tell them whatever you choose but telling him that Santa isn't or wasn't real is also a lie as is telling them he flies a sleigh with reindeer. I am not saying that the Santa is real I am just saying in the history of ';Santa'; there was a real man who gave presents and went from orphanage to orphanage to make their lives more meaningful. Think about that.





With having said everything above, I don't think it is poor parenting either way. You as a parent have the right to choose what they believe in whether it be make belive or a religion. I do think that you should choose your words very carefully because what you say and how you say it is what your child will remember most. I am not saying sugar coat it I am simply saying be direct to the point but not harsh. I feel the way you said their grandfather is a corpes is a bit harsh even though it is the truth.





I added some links here that will give your the full history of Santa in case you want him to know the truth and actual facts.





http://www.the-north-pole.com/history/





http://www.history.com/content/christmas鈥?/a>
As a mental health professional with 20+ years experience, and as one who began his career as a Child Welfare Worker, I can honestly and professionally tell you that I think you did the right thing in both circumstances. Sometimes when you ask a question such as yours on Answers, people are caught up in their own issues and can't see and hear how you said what and when in order to accurately assess what you did, but, I can see how what you did in both circumstances can be done in a very beneficial way, and, giving you ';the benefit of the doubt';, I think you did a good job. God Bless you.
Five is a bit young to burst the bubble, but if this is going to be a bad Christmas and Santa will not be able to deliver, you might want to ease them into it.





I wouldn't have called a dead grandparent a lifeless corpse, a little white lie about Grandpa being in heaven might cause less future damage.
its okay to tell your children that


would you rather have them know the truth


or let them believe in some magical lie ?_?


whoever called you the grinch is liar


you can have christmas joy still but true christmas joy


i know their 5 but im sure they'll grow into appreciating your time


and money to make holidays great =P


plus they'll find out sooner or later


%26lt;3
i am not gonna let my kid believe in santa because i believe in not lying to my kids just to tell him when he gets older that he does not exist and make him hate me for it. that but that grandpa thing was mean to say, it is not poor parenting





you can thumbs me down now
I don't think you should tell them. They have happiness when they open presents. There belief is that Santa traveled all around the world and delivered presents just to them. I think it's better for them to believe in a jolly man who represents the spirt of christmas. Let them find out on there own.


P.S. They'll think he's watching them so they'll have to be good
My parents didn't tell me there was no santa until I was 10... my sister is 7 and sometimes she doubts it. Let them have their joy in believing in someone so wonderful that he gives presents to everyone. He's a good role model. It's not really lying... well kinda, but it makes them happy
i think having the santa thing when you a kid is awesome. its a great memory. lying about santa is a lot different than not sugarcoating death. they wont believe it anymore in a few years and its not like their gonna have a grudge against you when they get older. let them have the fantasy.
Its not poor parenting, its your decision. But Christmas is the best time of year for most kids, waiting up for santa, hanging to stockings, being good all year and hanging ornaments on the tree. When i found out, i was very upset.
OK, SO YOU DONT HAVE TO BE SO HARSH BUT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH TELLING THE TRUTH TO YOUR CHILDREN, THAT IS YOUR CHOICE, JUST MAKE SURE YOU ARE TRUTHFUL ABOUT ALL AND NOT SOME FICTIONAL CHARACTERS AND ALL LIFE SITUATIONS NOT JUST THE ONES THAT ARE CONVENIENT FOR YOU TO LIE ABOUT. IT IS UP TO YOU WHAT YOUR KIDS BELEIVE IN BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN THEY WILL LIKE IT.
ok your parents must have told you early on cuz 5 is just a lil to young you have already lied to them cuz they beleave in santa now my son is 8 yrs old and still beleaves you need to stop trying to kill there child hood let them beleave as long as they can beleave
This was my battle two years ago.


i avoided ';santa'; questions until one day my 6 year old came home from school saying this girl in school thinks santa is real when he's not.


i didn't have to do a thing...











i suggest don't dissect it just yet.
No becuase when they find outt they wont be in a shock. And if you dont tell them and you keep convinicing them hes real they'll find out once there older and never belive youu! Its good to tell them about the truth now so that they can plan there lives accordingly.=)
These type of parenting decisions are personal and shouldn't be judged. Every family is entitled to its own way of dealing with truths.
I think that there are still gentle ways of being truthful without being harsh. Santa is not what Christmas is about in our family, but it is something fun to do with your kids.


RN %26amp; mom
No. Most kids figure out Santa isn't real when they are around the age of 8 or 9.





And don't tell them that their grandpa is lifeless corpse, that can damage them.
Theres a spirit of Santa and a real St. Nicholas. There are ways to explain Santa without lying.
Ah yes, it's alright. Later on you can tell them about when Easter Bunny got busted for downloading kiddie porn. *nods*
lifeless corpse...Seriously?
no it is not poor parent in to tell your child that but you should wait until he is a little bit more older or asks you santa clause.......don't be a party pooper
YES! You would ruin their imagination.
lol to the other answers.





BAH-HUMBUG! i think its more cruel to tell them at such a young age. let them outgrow it so they won't grow up scarred or bad tempered.
its ok u didnt ruin ANYTHING!!


u did the right thing 4 ur family other families have differant choices


DONT LET THIS STUPID QUESTION PUT U DOWN!!!
not very funny
Don't tell them just yet.
wow , way to ruin christmas.. your the grinch.
lol
wait till they r at least 9 or 10 and that was mean about the grandpa