.Have you ever taken a parenting class, or did your parents do a good enough job with you?
Neither my wife nor I ever took a parenting class; they didn't really have anything like it back in our day.
The positive parental guidance that we both received was never a conscious effort to teach us. We were simply raised by parents who were committed to the idea that family life was the most important thing.
And yet at odds with that, I did not have a good relationship with my father. He openly disapproved of my weaknesses and his unkind ways have scarred me to this day. However, I have realized that he would always be there, trying to be what he considered to be a good father. He never demonstrated selfishness and also lived to be a good example of a good worker.
Same thing with my wife; her relationship with her mother was not the best but there was still that constancy.
I do hope that the class that you are taking grows into your heart; for that is where actions are born of feelings. On the other hand, it is interesting and commendable that you sought the program out yourself and have not been forced to take it.
Those who have been made to attend the class have a hard row to hoe as they have demonstrated their natural disposition to be unsuitable parents.
My wife and I believe ourselves to be good parents by this simple test: our children are all well into their twenties. The oldest is married with two children. The middle one has lived on her own since her senior year in high school. Our youngest has had to live at home due to autistic symptoms. None of them has ever done one single solitary thing to cause my wife or me a moment of grief.
(Anyone who cares to know the simple yet world-shattering secret to our success, I invite to write to me to ask.)Have you ever taken a parenting class, or did your parents do a good enough job with you?
I know that, that's why I pull my answers half the time... but then again, it is more than enough to know I make a difference...
Sides, my answers are not normal, so award the most normal best answer and everyone wins!!!!!
Bob Harris
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And just what is normal, anyway? Normal just isn't as interesting as you. (((Bob Harris)))
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My parents did a great job parenting myself %26amp; my siblings.
They also cooked just fine, drove safely, knew how to read %26amp; write, had a solid understanding of history %26amp; science...
But, still, I've had to learn those things for myself, too - and, some of the things that people knew in the past, the approaches they took to things, the information available, has changed in the intervening decades. Additionally, there are some things that my parents dealt with before I was aware of what they were doing - when I was little, or with my siblings in a way that I didn't notice. And, there are things that happen in my life, with my kids, my community, the world today that my parents never had to face at all.
So, no, I don't just sit back %26amp; accept that I have nothing to learn in the world or about parenting, because I made it to adulthood myself. I keep learning, researching, reviewing my life %26amp; making changes where needed. I'm more likely to read about parenting than to take a class, but I do take classes from time to time. Our local educational foundation hosts family nights, that include fun family activities %26amp; age-appropriate, informational classes for the kids %26amp; parents.
I thank you for your courage, we need more around us. As soon as I was pregnant I took classes and read profusely and went for professional advice because I thought my parents were absentee when too busy with their own lives to remember they had children. The 70's for you. Any way, I sought it out on my own as I thought I knew very little. Turned out I have great instincts and while yes I learned a lot, I made my own mistakes that were not my parents' mistakes, like over interfering in their lives. Luckily they are not totally full grown and I have time to make up for that, but there will be something else I am likely to screw up and hopefully notice and make an adjustment for. Most important aspect of being a parent, at least thinking about it and putting effort into it. Classes don't hurt, again many need them after the 70's and 80's. After any war actually - or economic downturn - or anything else that effects a family. Here's to you and all the people who try see more than they see, ever. My words of wisdom for parents, love them, pay attention to them, use some reason with love and don't become overprotective or apathetic. Thank you for being a person who cares, and the courage to put it out here.
Actually many of the Tribal cultures around the world do have traditional classes for parenting, as do some religions and several cults.
There is a marked lacking of this in the average American household though I will agree! Children having Children, Video games %26amp; songs %26amp; TV shows teaching that killing off authority figures is a good thing.
We have a lack of a rite of passage into adulthood in this Country... Robert Bly has a book for Men %26amp; Boys, ';Iron John';, while I often recommend ';Women who Run with Wolves'; for everyone else!
Actually the public school system is another BRAINWASHING piece of CRAP we must contend with. The bigger the school, the more you have 2 legged wolves praying upon the younger minds in the bathrooms, the hallways, and the playgrounds... Children are taught how to read using sub-vocalization... almost guaranteeing a slow reader, and the NEW Math that is 2,000 years older than the Greek Math... just so those with the Gold can have a new crop of ditch diggers who have no clue how to handle money.
Wow, must be one of my hot buttons or something...
How about a ';YOU GO GIRL!!!'; instead?
ME!
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I have sat in on some seminars related to raising kids. As with many parenting books, I'd say about 80% of what was said is simply obvious, 15% is totally preposterous, and 5% is useful. Whether that ratio is worth people's time is completely up to them. I had great parents, but that doesn't mean that they had every good idea ever thought up. I'm fine with the idea of sharing data and experiences related to parenting, and I think it's a worthy thing to be taking parenting seriously and making an effort to seek out parenting methods that really work. but i urge people to use their own common sense to evaluate what they hear from any particular ';expert.';
That does surprise me but its also really awesome and commendable. Theres so many crappy parents out there that need that. I also took a program cause my parents died when i was really young, and i wasn't raised right since then. I didnt weave baskets hah but i got CPR certified, learned what to do when a child is choking, proper discipline, stuff like that.
My children are adults now so it was a very long time ago but I did take a parenting class. I was not court ordered, but I also did not have much in the way of positive parenting role models. I really enjoyed the course %26amp; was asked to stay as an instructor but I was a single parent %26amp; just did not have the free time. I do not remember what the class name or structure was now. Good for you. Even if you had a positive role model it can only add to you %26amp; never hurt!
Blessings!
Yes I have heard of it and wished we had it when my children were growing up. It shouldn't take a court order to go there and learn some better ways to parent. Parenting is the hardest job in the world. Our children didn't come with a manual and all are different, so I think our children are certainly worth more than a scrapbook, bird houses, etc. It is sad that more parents don't take advantage of the programs offered to them. Then the children bet bigger and they have bigger problems and wonder where it all went wrong? What a shame. parents are the role models.
I wish that I could say that I went on my own accord, but I was court~ordered to go.
What, at first, seemed to be a humiliating punishment became one of the BIGGEST blessings and gifts anyone could give me.
We didn't do any basket weaving where I went, but rather took a look at the hard issues and beliefs of how we were raised and how they possibly are not serving us anymore.
Looking back, it was part of my beginning of going within and getting honest with and about myself.
Anyway you get there, it's a great way to not to sit on your laurels and think that you have all the answers. My parenting instructor compelled us to be unselfish and expand our minds.
Great question, you took me back!
Peace!
I teach parenting classes and we dont make birdhouses..or waste time on scrape books. I teach parenting to College Professors , students and the general public.. Spankers in particular..they know nothing
My parents were the best parenting class ever. Think about what they would do and then do the opposite. Works evey time.
I took the STEP classes (Systematic Training for Effective Parenting) when my son was 4. I volunteered to take it because my parents were good but they were products of their own times. I didn't like some of the choices they made, and I didn't like most of the choices my contemporaries were making. My husband and I both attended the first several meetings, then he had a change in his work, and while he went over the lessons with me, he did not continue to attend. I did, and I feel like I learned a lot there. The concept of natural consequences was useful to me as a parent, but also as a spouse, an employee, an employer, and a teacher. It helped me remember that the person best able to solve the problem was the one who owned the problem.
It doesn't surprise me that you are the only non-court ordered parent there, but that revelation also makes me sad. We give hours and hours to practicing our golf swings, our fly-fishing casts, and our technique for barbecuing. We spend fortunes and hours watching sports and going out to eat. Yet as a culture, we figure if it takes any effort to improve our parenting, there must be something bogus or fake about it. We have sadly misplaced values.
When I worked as a teacher, the only way to get parents in to any sort of workshop was with a bribe or coercion. The bribe was to offer a meal after the workshop. Unless we put on a meal, we got very little interest except when a child was in danger of being expelled, and the parent wanted to keep the child in the district.
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