Anyone elses thoughts on todays parenting???? sorry for the rantParenting????
Yes I see this quite often. Punishments are bad bad bad, demeaning and will hurt your child's feelings/psychological well being. All I have to say to that is horse crap.
I'm not about to not give consequences/punishments to my children when they have merited them because it will ';hurt their feelings';. When my child does something wrong or misbehaves, we call him out on it, we tell him why it is wrong and what the right choice would have been and then we tell him he receives a particular consequence because he chose to disobey. It's called disciplining him and correcting him and it's for his best interest.
I will never not give my child a punishment when it's merited. My child will have discipline, respect, manners and consequences for his actions instilled in him.
To NOT do that will hurt him in the long run. Real life has consequences for every action good or bad. We as parents start teaching that in the home from day one to prepare them to make the good decisions in the real world and avoid making bad decisions.Parenting????
Parenting today is SOO hard! I have 4 children and work full time, so I know the challenges first hand..a great resource that I found was MyLiveCoach. He is an online parenting coach. Check him out. MyLiveCoach@Yahoo.com. It was really helpful for me! Hope it helps!
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i talk to my oldest and will with my little one too. we just sit down and talk it out. i want my kids to know i am here for them. the corner dose come into play some times though.
good old swat on the butt never hurt anyone.
To the first poster - 90% of parents in the U.S. spank their kids so people are spanking and it obviously is not working. There are other ways to discipline without spanking, but I do agree kids need discipline, parent first, friend second.
There are ways to discipline, and there are ways to discipline. It also depends on what the child is being disciplined about. Also, each child is different and you need to learn what works best for each child.
Some children can easily be disciplined by taking something away, while other need to be sternly talked to. Others need to be left in there room for x amount of time to think about what they did.
I also don't believe some person living a different life then you and knows nothing of you situation should be telling you how to raise your children. No matter what a parent does, a child once grown will have some emotional issues from something that parent did.
Not that I believe in ';hitting'; a child, but they need to understand you are the parent not a friend and that you are trying to teach them how to be a good person and get through life.
Most parenting today is disrespectful to children. Believe it or not, most kids want to learn how to behave and fit into society. Many parents, rather than giving their kids information on how to behave, just demand that they do, and tell them what NOT to do rather than what to do.
No negative reinforcement in my house, no shame or blame, no punishments.
Read this website: http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/ A lot is about homeschooling, but it is the best at explaining this parenting school of thought.
as a parent you have to be able to go with the flow and trust that you are making the best choices for you and your family. not everyone will agree with you and if you start to second guess yourself, you will drive yourself crazy. the most important thing is to love your child and accept them for who they are and remember that you only have 18 years to get them ready to face the world!!
I have a 10 and 7 year old (both boys). I think I might have read that same article. I all for warnings (1), teachable moments, and natural consequences. But, there are some points where you just have to discipline. We don't spank, and we do try to make sure they know the consequences up front, but when they break the rules, the consequences have to stick. For example, today my 10 year old was caught in a lie about cheating (two cardinal sins). He is now grounded for 5 days. I think the author of that article would have said for me to sit down and just had a long talk about not lying or cheating. But, doesn't the author know that my 10 year old already knows lying and cheating are wrong??? Eventually, if talking about it doesn't work, something else needs to happen.
I'm with you on this one...if parents would start spanking their kids again...the world would be a better place......
Can you post the article if it was online?
I can't comment on the particular article as I have not read it but on the surface I agree with the message.
It is possible to be positive and supportive and encouraging without ';not disciplining'; as you state. It is not a black or white choice.
I completely agree that all efforts should be made to preserve the child's self esteem. But that does not equal no discipline at all.
If a child needs correcting - by all means correct them, but do it is a positive way that is guiding them to better and more appropriate choices. There is no need to ridicule or hurt their feelings - no great lesson will be learnt.
My 12 year old recently asked me if he could walk down to our local park to meet some friends and I said no.
He questioned me as to why? I responded that I did not feel it was safe, and that I was happy re-think my decision if he could think of a safe way of doing it.
He came back a few minutes later and asked if I was feeling up to it could I perhaps take the other kids to the park for a play and then he could walk there with me and see his friends but I would still be at the playground to watch him.
I said that would be fine. He then asked if at all possible if I could try not to talk to him while we were there! I thought that was cute.
Above is a perfect example of a young man evolving into a mature, responsible person who is willing to respect decisions made and rather than complain and rant and rave, can come up with a solution to the issue.
In my book that is positive parenting where the child has been taught to be assertive not rebellious.
Funny how as I was reading the question, my son dumped my boyfriends soda that he left on the end table, I walked over, smacked him on the butt, and he smacked me in the face. Shows how well spanking teaches.
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