If you use spanking in your parenting, would you let the child child choose his or her punishment?

I havn't spanked any of my children past there 14th birthday, but I wonder if I could have done something different. It will not be fair to a younger child, but I should perhaps have given them a choose in how to be spanked when they reached perhaps 10 or 11. For ex, do you want a spanking or grounding for two weeks? Do you ever let your children choose there punishment?If you use spanking in your parenting, would you let the child child choose his or her punishment?
That may end up being a bad idea. Not that you want to project a ';control-freak'; attitude, but you don't want to lose the control you have. Your kids choosing their own punishments would put them in control of you, even if it is punishment they're controlling.If you use spanking in your parenting, would you let the child child choose his or her punishment?
I will definitely choose for them. Letting them choose their punishment wont teach them anything. If they choose, of course they are going to pick the one that hurts the least and when the punishment is over, they will have gotten it easy and wont even feel sorry.

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My brother and I were spanked as children but our sister was not. That stopped around age 12; then we got grounded. Personally, if given the choice (which we weren't), I'd have taken spankings to not be grounded.





You're the parent, your children violated your rules, you choose the disciplinary measures. As I stated, to me, restriction was much worse than a spanking. But since my brother and I weren't given a choice we tended to not repeat violations of our parents' rules to avoid restrictions.
You should, but you should decide if that chose is good or not. For example if your daughter or son chooses a day of grounding. Say how bout no and change it to 1 week. Kind of be sarcastic about it.
if u do that u give them a choice and it is still giving them a sort of control.
I dont smack, I used to, but no longer do.





I do offer my children to choose between two punishments, they might for example lose their playstation for a week, lose that weeks pocket money or do the dishes for a week. all suck really in a kids eyes, but those three things all work wonders for my son.





Now your kids are older, theres not a lot you can do, but even when they are older you can ask them what they think would eb a reasonable punishment, doesnt mean you have to use it, but it does make them feel more like they have an imput in their own lives if they get to discuss things like an adult.
I Have nothing against spanking a child. I have done it to my own son. But on very rare occasions, the key is consistency and fairness and don't show any sign of a sigh about it. If he/she is doing something that they are aware is wrong, you warn them once and if they do it again, don't give the slightest slack. Give them exactly what they were warned would come, with no buts. Most kids can be troublesome if there is no consistency which gives them room to play up. I have a great relationship with my son because of it. He knows that keepin on the right side is agreeable to me, he doesn't yearn to encroach any boundary lines and is a genuinely happy outgoin kid as a result. Ofcourse my kid has his moody moments but i can live with that.


Remember consistency it saves you having to replay the same old act time after time. me and his mother split way back when he was young, and he makes no secret of the fact that he enjoys hangin at my place more than his moms were she complains to me about his behaviour !!! The thing i remember with her was that she was never consistent.
In my house we get both. We usually get spanked n sent to our room until the punishment is decided.Sometimes my mom n dad gave me a chioice of a two punishments n whatever one i didnt pick was the one i didnt get cuz my dad said i shouldnt enjoy a punishment.


sometimes they asked me to choose to check if i was real sorry n if i picked an easy punishment they always said i wasnt sorry enough to pay the price.


I just prefer when they decide n i get it over with it usually sucks anyway
I have let my children decide their punishment before. They are 16 and 17 now so it is farther and fewer between. But what I found was that they would always make the punishment more severe that I would. I knew what the minimum punishment was they could choose and if they chose something beyond that they would actually get a break from what they thought was fair. Only once did my daughter say her punishment should have been lighter, I explained why I didn't think so I she received my punishment instead.
Yes, I've used this on occasion. Not with spanking but with other punishments, given them an option. It really depends on the 'infraction' and what I think the appropriate punishment is. And only ocasionally, an option is what I give.





I stopped giving or felt the need for spanks when mine was about 8.





Just read kickbxsgirl above - that's something I have yet to do: have the child pick their punishment. I may try that out sometime too.
Actually, sometimes I have let my son pick his punishment without choices from me. Almost always he picks a harsher punishment than I would have picked. Usually it was for something minor. Sometimes he will pick a really harsh punishment or a lighter punishment than he deserves and then we discuss that the punishment needs to fit the crime and we can usually come to an agreement on what is the best punishment. So, I guess I help him come to the right degree of punishment and I rarely have to spank him.
Nah, I think it is best not to let them know what is coming. That puts more fear in them about what will happen if they do something wrong. Personally I did not spank mine past 3 or 4 years old. I never had to.
well, personally, when i was a little kid, my parents never let me choose the beatings....they would just beat me for 20 times and then they would ground me with no t.v. or computer...it was very painful...and i cried all the time.
I have given my girls a choice but each time they have chosen what I have thought was the appropriate punishment. That may be because I make the 2nd choice somewhat more odious.





For example with my 10 year old, I may offer a spanking over my lap, panties down with my hand vs. 1 week grounding and extra chores over the summer. She does not want to miss a minute of her summer vacation. She is going to take a few minutes of pain and crying.





On the other hand, my 15 year old had not been spanked for about 18 months. We used grounding, extra chores, and loss of priviledges. She abided by her punishments but continued misbehaving. However, we recently went back to spanking her like her little sister; that got her attention. I will not be giving her choice.