For me, it's not a particular topic that gets me irate, it's people who hold extremist views on the topic. For instance, I breastfed my daughter for a year and can't say enough good about breastfeeding, but I understand and support a parent who chooses formula. If, however, I come across someone who is so staunchly pro-breastfeeding or pro-formula that they don't want to hear another point of view, I just don't deal with those kinds of people. What's the point of trying to convince someone who is ';always'; right that there is a middle ground, and that every parent tries his/her best?
The other thing that gets me worked up is competitive parents. It is one thing to be proud of a child when he/she completes a milestone or completes it early. We're all proud in those situations, and we all like to tell our family and friends when it happens. It's a whole other thing if a parent feels the need to brag or belittle another child. I see those types of parents as pathetic people who for some reason feel the need to live vicariously through their kids. They need to get a life.What controversial parenting subject gets you the most worked up?
Right Dr. Andrew Wakefield is the fall guy because his studies were flawed, doesn't negate the fact that autistic enterocolitis exists and canbe caused by vaccines, just look at all the info on leaky gut. And I know Dr. Wakefield, he has never said to me vaccines cause autism, only GI issues in few
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kids susceptible to a poor immune system, he is a gastroenterologist. How being educated on a topic is ignorant, right. Being educated on a topic makes one the opposite of ignorant. I have spent the last 5 years studying this topic including conferences, medical journals and specialists
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I guess in general on parenting board it is spanking--people talk it to death and I don' t think anyone ever changes anyone's mind. I admit, when I see a legitimate question on the subject I often jump in--I get ticked that the rational argument in favor of spanking is not often presented very well (I am not saying there is not a rational argument against it also--but that is such a loud argument in mainstream media and pop psychology books that people tend to take it as gospel) --but I am under no delusions any minds are changed.
Judgment, especially when it comes from a person who claims not to judge. My kids' pediatrician told me with regards to parenting, ';Happy parents = happy kids';. That about says it all. So many parents want to say, ';Well, I'm not judging you, I'll let you parent as you see fit, but I'm a superior parent because I...(insert choice here)';. Sorry, saying ';My choice is better'; is a judgment.
Here is how I see a lot of ';controversial'; choices. We all know that breastfeeding is best for babies' health, but I'm not going to judge a mom for saying it didn't work out, weaning before a year, or waiting until her child is 3. Co-sleeping is a totally personal choice. We know circumcision is an unnecessary procedure and a religious one. Who best to decide whether their child benefits from medication for ADHD? The vaccine debate is open the interpretation of statistics and value judgments. Spanking with a bare hand is not equal to a beating; Culture affects discipline methods. We all get to decide what type of schooling is best for our families and children, homeschooling, public or private. There isn't a ';right'; answer for everyone.
I guess the only example you gave that isn't really controversial is improper use of old car seats. Get a good one and install it correctly. But if it was installed incorrectly unintentionally it was a mistake.
Alright then here I go! I feel that in some cases breastfeeding may be better than bottle feeding but not all women can breastfeed. Regardless of what grandma thinks, so what that she had a dozen babies and breast fed them all. Circumcision should be the parents choice, I had my son clipped because I read that it cut down on infections and I just felt that is what I needed to do, but Lord have mercy on some people that think I am going to burn in H!*! for having it done. But now here really goes car seats.... what really kills me is seeing someone in a fancy car but no car seat. The child is sitting up front, or in the middle. People like that should be put in jail. Not that long ago I seen an elderly man driving a Navigator with a lil girl that looked about3 years old sitting in the middle of the front seats. He passes me driving about 70, then cuts me off at the light to get into a Wal-Mart parking lot. I too stopped there he asked what my problem was we had a few words, but my point is once something happens to that child you can not bring them back, cops please get these dead beats off the roads! Also discipline is a big one. I am pro spanking- to some extent, and time out is a must at my house. But then you have my in laws that believe you can talk your way through it, not with my wildcats!
People who mutilate babies and advocate the mutilation of babies by circumcision really make me angry.
As a victim of the circumcision forced on me as an infant, suffering more than the amount of loss of sexual sensitivity because of the damage inflicted on me, I have every right to be angry.
Mutilating babies is wrong. It is abuse. It is a crime almost worse than murder.
It's a gross violation of the human right to a whole and intact body.
Circumcision is neural and vascular damage to the penis.
And what really gets me upset are the women who think that males should be circumcised. They wouldn't dream of having their own genitals mutilated by a female circumcision, or their daughters--even if it were legal to do so.
How would they like their own genitals scarred and mutilated for life, being deprived of sexual sensitivity?
I guess that it's all right, as long as it's done to someone else.
Circumcision is the worst hoax ever perpetrated on the male sex.
A foreskin is not a birth defect; it is a birthright.
ERIC
Any opinion that comes out of ignorance such as:
Breast feeding will turn your sons gay, or breastfeeding after (insert here any time period from 6 weeks to a yr) is sexual child abuse
Homeschooling is child abuse and should be against the law
Spanking in any way or form is abuse and your children should be removed from your home.
No one will marry/have sex with/perform oral sex on etc you son because he isn't circumcised.
Yes I have been told all of the above.
As a mom I have several pet peeves about things, but this is my biggest- the bottle vs the breast. Not everyone can breast feed- even if they wanted to or tried! I was one such mom. I couldn't due to adoption and even with trying he wouldn't do it. Was I supposed to let my child starve? Did it make me a bad mother or weaken the bond I have with my son by not breast feeding? Not in the least. As long as he was growing, healthy and cared for it's all I cared about- the same as any mom would for their children. He's a very inquisitive, curious and loving little boy. I think regardless of bottle or breast he would have turned out this way. We had to find ways to compromise at feedings- plenty of skin to skin contact, cuddling and rocking around feeding time when he was an infant. If someone chooses to breast feed, great for them, but plenty of us bottle feeding mommies out there get sick of being made to feel inferior or less than moms because we couldn't or because we had to make other choices in the interest of our children. Now, show me a mom that is putting soda in the bottle and handing it to the child or loading on junk food continually and calling it ';feeding their children'; then that is something to take issue with, not whether or not someone decided to feed by breast or by the bottle method.
Carseat misuse! I'm surprised I'm the first to say it.
People fuss over crib bumpers and co-sleeping and just what is safest in the home... but then some people toss their kids in a chunk of metal that regularly barrels down the road at 70+ miles per hour without following the *minimum* safety standards.
And even a lot of *great* parents are happy to turn a child forward facing or put them in a booster when he or she meets the barest *minimum* of recommendations. Do we really want our kids 'minimally' safe??
These minimum numbers typically represent when the average risk goes *down* from death to *just* permanent disability. They do not represent what the experts are calling 'safe'... just somewhat *safer*.
Remember boys and girls: Every step 'up' in carseats is a step *down* in safety... wait as long as you can!! :-D
And then... Conservative estimates put carseat misuse at 80%. *Eighty percent* aren't using their seats correctly *by the minimum standards*. Scares me to death.
Get a *certified* car seat tech to check *your* seats regularly. Are *you* one of the 80%? (People have had well meaning firefighters/policemen/etc who were *not* certified to check carseats give them *very unsafe* information.)
End public service message. :-D
My biggest one is circumcision. It is foisted on parents by the medical community for the dollar value it generates. For years the reasons have been proved fallacy yet the practice persists through ignorance. With the information available on the Internet now, there is no reason for parents to fall prey to doctors who push this most unnecessary procedure. There is also no reason for parents to believe the old myths of it being cleaner, better, healthier, or wanting him to look like Dad. Why not rip his scalp off so he has male pattern baldness right from the start. It carries as much merit as ripping his foreskin apart from his glans and then cutting off the living tissue with a knife.
Parents who are still blunt enough to believe in routine circumcision should have their rights as caregivers questioned.
I have four healthy, intact sons. We brought the whole baby home with us. Never once has there been an issue with them being intact. Now that they are teenagers, there is still no issue.
Mithras
My biggest problem is the judgement regardless of the issue.
The other big big problem that I have is those that spew inaccurate statements about not vaccinating, and its everywhere, just look at LP's answer:
Fact: herd immunity isn't compromised unless compliance rates fall below 85 percent, current compliance is 98 percent in the US.
Fact: There has been proof in the autism-vaccine debate and the gov't has awarded damages for vaccines causing autism in the Banks and Polling cases, and if you read the DSM-IV-TR dx of 299.00 autistic disorder you will notice the primary diagnostic criteria listed on the side-effects on the vaccine adverse reaction symptoms such as:
http://www.nvic.org/reportreaction.aspx
notice listed:
LOSS OF EYECONTACT OR SOCIAL WITHDRAWAL
HEADBANGING, OR ONSET OF REPETITIVE MOVEMENTS SUCH AS FLAPPING, RUBBING, ROCKING, AND SPINNING
If autism is a social communication disorder, how do the onset of the above symptoms not qualify as PDD.NOS? Right. Ignorance prevails, but I am selfish, the judgement continues, sigh!
I dont really get that worked up about anything, but spanking draws more inane statements: ';it teaches violence';, ';A good spanking is all they need';, ';studies have proven that...';, ';You are ignorant';. And it gets asked every hour. Why not just use the archives/questions search? The answers will be the same.
I also agree with beetlemilk, and it鈥檚 the vaccination issue for me. My family lives with the negative effects of overuse of a good thing every single day of our lives. On top of that, we constantly have to deal with people who ignorantly spew propaganda about the harm our unvaccinated children could cause their vaccinated children, not to mention hostile medical and school personnel, when all we鈥檙e trying to do is make the best decision for our children who haven鈥檛 already been injured. It would be nice if people would do a little research, or at least be a little more understanding of our situation.
it's the immunise vs not immunise that really does it for me. i realise it's up to all parents but because some parents decide not to immunise their children the herd immunity is lost and more people are at risk... it affects everyone not just the individuals and in the end i find that rather selfish especially since there is no link between MMR and autism. fact.
ok counting to 10... lol
ok just saw i got a few angry answers from some parents. i have done my research and have reliable sources and i'm not getting into this debate for the 100th time. you guys point at me for being ignorant well it goes both ways. in the end i'd like to go back in time and undo the lies of andrew wakefield.
It's gotta be spankings. They're equated to hitting, which is understandable, but still a misguided conception. Spanking has been called abuse, assault, violence, and a lazy way to parent. These, too, are misconceptions. Beatings might fall into these categories, but a sound spanking is none of the above.
Im with Beetlemilk 100%!
LP: Very selfish answer. If you noticed your child regressing after a shot and you seen drastic change to your child after receiving those ';safe shots'; im sure your outlook would be a LOT Different.
And BTW... The vaccines arent even gaurenteed immunity.
Young adults are catching these sickness' you vaccinate for and it is a lot dangerous getting it older rather than younger.
The ingredients alone are scary. I could never feel ok about injecting my child with such toxins..
http://www.vaccination.inoz.com/ingredie鈥?/a>
Its a Multi Million dollar industry, and they dont want anyone to know the real truths.
So yes my answer is... The vaccine debate. People who just look at their own situation rather than others.. Other people and kids who suffer.
It really bothers me when a mother doesn't try to breastfeed. I mean I understand that its her body and she may feel uncomfortable with it. Some people think breastfeeding is 'gross'. Breasts were made for feeding babies! I think everyone mother should at least try. Give your baby those extra nutrients for a few weeks!
Circumcision, by far. It's just as unnecessary on your infant son as it is on your infant daughter, and it's high-time people started realizing that. It's a ridiculous procedure with no benefits, not to mention it's your son's body, not your own.
Spanking does it for me.
I don't spank my kids, but have no problem with people that do.
What business is it of anyone elses if someone chooses to opt for spanking to discipline a naughty child?
Grrrr
Spanking is NOT abuse, Taking punishments to EXTREMES is abuse!
Circumcision, because it happened to be without my permission and I have been really upset about it since the day I found out. I'm a victim of the procedure so I obviously don't like it very much.
-Connor
Circumcision for the same reasons as Connor. I think people who mutilate their sons genitals are sick in the head and should be forced to get circumcised themselves, yes that means the girls.
circumcision v.s non circumcision And Spanking.
The whole ';teen parents can't make good parents'; debate.
Circumcision for the same reasons as Connor. Plus because I know some boys growing up will resent it and feel mutilated when all the medical evidence says the complication rate is higher than the outrageous claims of benefit.
It really annoys me seeing the ignorant pro-cutting arguments trotted out by self-justified people who are mostly saying ';I've heard'; this or that. In other words they have made an important decision about their son's genitals on the basis of urban myths or the father's warped desire to have his son's penis look like his. A whole generation of young Australian males has grown up happily intact with mostly circumcised fathers. I've heard plenty of fathers concerned about it before the birth but afterwards it's a non-issue.
It's the worst feeling in the world to know you have lost an important part of your genitals for no good reason. I would not wish it on anyone.
Geoff
Circumcision. There is no justification for cutting off a healthy, functional body part in a newborn child!
Circumcision Video
http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/video.鈥?/a>
NOCIRC~National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers
http://www.nocirc.org/
NOHARMM
http://www.noharmm.org/home.htm
Circumcision Information and Resource Pages
http://www.cirp.org/
Article~Circumcision and Urinary Tract Infection
http://www.cirp.org/library/disease/UTI/
Doctors Opposing Circumcision-Tons of Links!
http://faculty.washington.edu/gcd/DOC/
Mothers Against Circumcision
http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/index.鈥?/a>
In Memory of the Sexually Mutilated Child
http://sexuallymutilatedchild.org/
Intactivism
http://circumstitions.com/
everything you wanted to know about circumcision but were afraid to ask
http://www.stopcirc.com/index.html
I say spanking. I'm studying to become a teacher. Think about it. Teachers don't hit kids, yet they get them to listen and respect them. I don't see the point in violence. I was severely spanked as a child so I'm a bit biest anyways :(
None of the above. You can't apply one cookie cutter to every family. Everyone just does the best they can.
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