Friday, January 15, 2010

How does age really affect parenting?

I'm 18, due with a boy in August. My pregnancy was quite the surprise, since my boyfriend of 2 years and I didn't have actual intercourse, and we were both so naive. But nonetheless, I'm thrilled. I've never been so happy. I have a great job at a Daycare center I make 10.50 an hour, have great benefits, and a generous maternity leave. My boyfriend makes 25 an hour at a shipping company, so we're ok financially.





I've gotten a lot of criticism for being so young, and I agree it's not the best age to become a parent, but I'm confident I'll make a good mom. I'm planning a water birth, I'm eating healthily (relatively), I'm just so concerned with doing what's healthy for my son.





My boyfriend and I broke up for a bit, but we had lunch and he told me he's excited now too, that he just freaked at first.





People make me feel bad about being excited. Is it? Does age really matter, or is it maturity level?





Why can't people just let me relish in my pregnancy?How does age really affect parenting?
after the age of 18, its a more mature age,most people have there 1st at about that age, instead if you were pregnant at 14- you shouldn't even be having sex thats young





by the way not to be rude but you wrote you didn't ';have actuall intercourse with your boyfriend';, how did you get pregnant if you didn't?How does age really affect parenting?
Just enjoy your pregnancy and ignore the negative stuff. People seem to think you have to be a certain age to be a good parent but I think it varies from each person to person. I have met 40 year olds that shouldn't have had kids and met 16 year olds that are great parents. Just enjoy your pregnancy and all the times with your baby who will be here very soon. Congrats.
ENJOY YOUR PREGNANCY, AND CONGRATULATIONS





Age has nothing to do with it, it is maturity levels. I had my daughter at 19, (I was 18 when I got pregnant) and though it disappointed some of my family because I put off college, (I was already married and had put it off for financial reasons anyway) but my daughter, and the two boys I have now also, are my reason for living. Relish your pregnancy, and dont let jerks tell you you cant have a baby yet. it is your choice, and you sound stable, so its fine.
I was 17 when I had my first baby. I finished school, worked part time, got married and had my own place. I dont think it matters at what age you have your children. It all just depends on weather your ready to settle down and do it. So you relish in your pregnancy because you can't worry about what others think. Their not the one raising your baby and loving it. Good luck
Most people don't agree with young parenting because most times, the younger parents still haven't grown up enough to take care of a child, and they don't have the money. You seem to have a decent financial situation, and you seem grown up about it. Also, you're still young enough to be able to take the late nights. My dad had a kid when he was in his 30s, and it has been harder on him having to get very little sleep than it was while he was in his 20s.
There are somethings in life one can't possibly appreciate with out going through the actual experience. In my case, having the baby was going to make me stronger and a different person, or I was going to go down the tubes quickly. It was an either or and I think that type of situation can make or break a person. It will be HARD for you. I believe education is the key to life. It will be HARD for you to continue an education but it CAN be done. I think any child will thrive in a financially, and emotionally stable environment. I would recommend getting to know a group of moms with children aged similar to yours once born. Older established parents will look down on you, but it is their loss. Find the ones that are more open minded!
I dont think age matters as i was 16 with my first and didnt care what others thought bout it and i still dont care as i always say to them (i maybe young but atleast i can take care of what i have brought into this world unlike some mothers who abuse or neglect there children) but while in your teens yes they say for us to enjoy and get an education but some things just happen.....
There are some people that are 35 and act like they're 15 and vice versa. From what you wrote you seem to be more mature for your age. However, I have seen mothers that turn 25 and all of a sudden realized that they missed out on some of their parting years and take that up. So as long as you can keep up your maturity then don't worry about your age. Congratulations and good luck!
I wouldn't be embarrassed 18 is very much and adult years ago people were married at this age like just (20 yrs ago) then women stated they wanted careers and are having babies later in life. I just hope your boyfriend is mature enough to handle this, if not maybe be prepared for a single motherhood just in case-not to scare you. Hey, I am 42 and had my second a girl when I turned 40 this was a surprise to me as we weren't expecting that at all, as I have a 10 yr old son. But I wish I was younger as you tire more faster and it is not fare to the child not having enough energy. So good luck to you. Stay positive and who cares what people think, this is your family now. Also, when people make these comments tell them to mind their own business!!!
You DO sound mature for your age. What people are probably reacting to is basic life statistics. The fact is that most women your age who have babies end up in a cycle of never-ending poverty. You say you make 10.50 per hour and he makes 25 per hour. I don't know where you live, but in most parts of the United States that's not going to get you too far. You can probably afford a modest size apartment in an okay neighborhood with government help, but without further education, for you or your boyfriend, you will not be able to purchase a home. Plus, he freaked on you once and may freak on you again. Those are the stark facts, hon. But I DO think your family and friends should be more supportive. No one needs to say this is a great situation, but they COULD give you some encouragement and support, telling you that you are being a responsible, caring future mother, and offering to help in any way they can. They should also be encouraging you to look for programs that help young mothers with food and other subsistence, and MORE IMPORTANTLY, with educational opportunities so you will not always be making $10.50 an hour. Again, that sounds like a lot now, but trust me, it really isn't. And I repeat, you sound very intelligent and mature, so you can go out and find those opportunities for help that you will need. Good luck and God bless you and your child.
I don't know about other people, humans as a whole tend to make stereotypical judgments without having all the facts, but I'd just like to say congratulations :) and enjoy your baby.
well i guess it is maturity but 18 is young. if you were asking if you should get pregnant i would tell you to wait you have your whole life ahead of you and why rush but you are already pregnant so that would do me no good and that is what you need to tell ppl there is nothing you can do about it now so you need to be excited. just because you are young and it wasn't planned doesn't make it any less life changing. yo are always going to have to prove yourself to ppl but just be the best mom you can be and I'm sure you will impress everyone. a good friend of mine got pregnant at 17 and i took her out to buy some baby things i was about the same age and my mom was like why are you encouraging her and i told her well its gonna happen like it or not so she might as well get excited about it. good luck and don't let anyone make you feel bad about your excitement.
i, personally think that age does affect parenting, as i had a baby at an earlier age and feel that i followed my peers advice too much...following blindly, if you will, and i should have been following my own intuition and doing what i felt was right, not what society deems as right.....soooo, if i were in your shoes, i would really start to evaluate how i want to parent, now, rather than later after the baby is already here.......AND just in case, plan on doing it on your own....i have seen it a million times....you can only count on yourself, but also start a support network now....support is necessary for successful parenting...with that said, i support you in your choices...you sound strong and thoughtful!
You sound mature and happy about this baby...you should be happy. You have a job and a boyfriend that works and is willing to help...you should be proud. Don't ever let anyone else rain on your parade honey... you have your head on straight, keep it there and you'll be okay. Good luck to you and congratulations =)
It depends if your maturity is good enough. I have met 17 year old that are great moms.


You should be happy if your wasn't and hated the idea then I say something is wrong.


Also I think it is normal for men to go through a freak out period! My husband did for everyone and is with this baby due in jan. as well.


People are rude no matter what they think their way is the right way and your way is so wrong.


For example: I have 5 kids, 4 girls and 1 boy ages from 9-2.


Some say: Are those all yours? (Shocked) I say ';Yes they are all mine'; and they leave it like that just shocked...


or : Are those all yours? (I don't even get to answer I start to say yes while nodding my head) What are you crazy? Its people like you that are destorying _________. (I have heard it all from their hard earn tax money for welfair {they just asume}, to the econmy, how dare I bring that many in a world like this) These are the people I hate.


or: Wow all those are your kids? Wow you must be so proud they are so well behaved, ect.


Also another question people ask is how many dads are there? I say only 1 then they call me a liar no one has kids with the same dad. The I tell them well I have and we got married before as well.


Its really funny seeing their faces.


But bottom line is people judge you no matter what. All you can do is just get over it and find those people who will support you.


Oh also if you want a great support group check and see if you have MOPS Mothers of Preschoolers) in your city. Its a support group from prego to 5 yrs. They are almost everywheres and you will love it. Or find a good support group near you.
Mainly because misery loves company. People just love to judge others. I am 26 and have three kids. People still love to tell me we are too young even though we have been married almost 5 years. I say congrats!!

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